Here We Go Again!

Be prepared, I've got the soap box out and primed. This post is going to piss people off and before you even bother to say it: Yes, I'm aware of the fact that immigrants helped build this country, most of my family came here from somewhere else, so let's skip that particular dead horse, all right?

I was reading the news this morning on MSNBC, as I usually do and I came across an article about the House and the Senate debating the "English as a National Language" issue again. This is an issue that has been debated repeatedly for years. Easch time it is defeated and dropped.

Now it is being discussed again, due in large part to the recent immigration discussions. Here's the kicker: It's being called racist.

All I have to say to that is WTF??????? How is it racist to want the people that live in THIS country to speak the launguage taught in it's schools and spoken by the people NATIVE to the country.

Again, yes I know that this country was built by people from other countries, but not solely, and not all of them were non-english speaking. In fact, a large majority of the first people to settle here were native english speakers...AND...when those people came here from other countries, it was with the intention of becoming American citizens, they WANTED to learn English, and they wanted their children to learn English. So I say again, let's not beat that particular dead horse.

Fact is if I moved to another country, any other country, I would be expected to learn it's launguage. It's true that a lot of countries teach English in their schools, but not all citizens speak it and so I would not be able to rely on that. I would have to learn to speak French or Chinese, or Spanish, or Italian, or whatever the native language was if I intended to live and be sucessful in my new home. Why should it be any different for people living here?

I do belive that it is a good idea for children in our schools to learn a second launguage, but I DO NOT believe that they should have to learn a second language simply because a portion of the population doesn't speak English.

It boils down to this: Just like anyone else, just like any other situation, if you want to be successful you have to adapt. English IS the language spoken in the United States. Yes, there are bilingual households. Yes, speaking a second language is a good thing. However, we are an ENGLISH speaking nation, just like a lot of other English speaking nations, we shouldn't be ashamed of it, we shouldn't apologize for it. It's not racist to want the people that live here to be able to communicate freely.

It would be racist to say that if someone didn't speak English you weren't going to teach them, and you weren't going to let them work, but no one is saying that. It would be racist if people that spoke other languages were shunned and not given good opportunities, when in fact, at many jobs, people that speak other languages qualify for pay increases.

I'm putting the soapbox away now. Just remember, before you send me angry notes....please don't beat the dead horse, he's suffered enough.

Pictures of my Daughter for Mother's Day

Judy sent me pictures of Genevive for Mother's Day. Wasn't that thoughtful? I went out and bought a frame for one of them right away, it's one of Genevie and I together. She's so beautiful. I've posted a few that Judy emailed to me last week, just wanted to share her beauty with the world...oh and I added a couple of Jareth, because, well...because it's mother's day and I LOVE MY KIDS!!!

Start your week off with a laugh....(warning:adult content)

More fun stuff from Virob.com. Again, I warn you, if your easily offended, or at work, don't watch this. But it's a good way to start the week with a laugh.

Sunday

It's Sunday. Not much else to say. The weather was nice. I took a nap.

Wow...my life is boring.

I seriously need to try something new. Brazilian frog juggling or French Poodle Shaving or something. Any suggestions? Maybe I'll take up Nude Interpretive Jello Wrestling.

I'll be taking suggestions all week.

The Birthday, The Road Trip and the Blow Up Sheep

I love rainy mornings. The sound of rain against the windows has always been one of my favorite things. My son is still asleep, so I thought I would take some time and come in and write for a minute.

I went on a little road trip with a Stephanie on Tuesday, it was her birthday. Her original plan had been to sit at home and do nothing by herself all day...BORING!!!!! I told her we needed to get her out of the house and do something, anything...she decided we should take a roadtrip to Evanston, Wyoming. (For those of you NOT from Utah, Evanston is just over the border and it's where all the repressed people go to buy porn and fireworks *LOL*)

So, we get in her car and we head for Wyoming. On the way we listen to 80's music, we sing, we car dance.....you heard me, car dance. This makes everyone else on the road look at us funny and laugh, I'm not sure why. My theory? Life is to short NOT to have fun..so car dance for gosh sake's.

Anyway...

We get to Evanston, grab a quick bite to eat at a local restaurant where we manage to convince the waitress that we are either high or drunk, when we are neither and then we're off to the local porn store. That's right intrepid readers...the porn store.

I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I have however decided that the job I want is "sex toy namer". You know someone gets paid to just sit around and think up names like, "The Anal Intruder".....I mean come ON, you know whoever thought that up was laughing their butt off , or stoned, or most likely both. Stephanie and I were laughing so hard I thought I would pee my pants. There was this little vibrator shaped like a DOLPHIN....I'm not joking, a damned dolphin...and we were both making jokes about it:

"I wonder if it makes the noise...."insert me making dolphin noise here"

Stephanie: "Even better, I wonder if it makes YOU make the noise..."insert BOTH of us making dolphin noises here."

There was a store employee standing next to us and at this point he started cracking up.

We moved further up the aisle and at this point I spot...wait for it.... the Blow up Dolls. They had one named Two Ton Tammy. So the employee that we made laugh says: "They even make blow up sheep."

I reply, " Oh Lord, you're kidding, Do they come with Blow up velcro cowboy boots?"

He says: " I don't know, let me check."

The laughter is over the top at this point.....and he comes over with....you guessed it, BLOW UP SHEEP.....I thought I would die.

So yeah...it was a good day. I haven't laughed that hard in ages.

Well, not since the last time I hung out with Stephanie.

A little sad....

Having just realized that her best friend is on vacation this week, our intrepid blogger is a little sad. She realizes this means she will have no one to chat with while her son naps.

*moment of silence for the vacationing Stephanie*

Fun Words

This is my list of words in the English Language that are fun to say. I'll probably update it from time to time. You should try saying some of these words outloud for no reason at all, just to see how fun they are. (If you don't know what the word means, you can always look it up)

(1) lollygagger

(2) kumquat

(3) pfeffernusse (it's a cookie pe*fer*noose)

(4) nincompoop (and it's oh so fun derivation: nincompoopery)

(5) tomfoolery (yes, it is an actual word, I looked it up)

(6) bulbous ( even more fun when paired with the word bouffant and shared with a friend)

(7) mukluk

(8) idiosyncrasy ( this one has many fun derivations, play with them, roll them around on your tounge, make people stare at you....just makes the word more fun)

Well there you have the initial fun word list, I'll update it soon. If you have a word you think is fun ( and isn't a swear word, those don't count....) let me know, I'll add it to the list.

House Hunting in a small town

Russ and I have been trying to find a new place to rent for a month or so now and so far no luck. We thought we had found a place, but the owners are dragging their feet. They don't seem to actually want to rent the place. Last time I spoke with her, the owner said it would be at least a month (putting us into June) before the house would be ready, and that there were " a lot of interested applicants", so I'm guessing that's out. That leaves me with the unenviable task of having to find something else. This bums me out.

Everything in town is either to small or to expensive. So I decided to look at houses for sale. Well not actually houses, manufactured homes, but still. The problem: (1) down payment and (2) financing. I'm not working and Russ's credit has been screwed by that whore of an ex wife of his. ORS (I'll get to them in a minute) has his child support on his credit record, that could screw us before we even get out the door. But I have to try. The house payment on the one we're interested in would only be $170 a month, so even with utilities, we would only be paying about $400 a month, which would make it easy to pay the bills, even on one income.


All I know is I have to have someplace else to live before June 1st, when my daughter comes home. This trailer is not big enough and well, you've read the rest before.

And in other news:

Got a notice in the mail that ORS has DOUBLED Russ's child support payment, like we aren't barely making it now....so I called and talked to someone, and for the first time, I actually got some real information and some actual help. We'll see how that goes.

Okay, I'm done bitching now.

It Takes a Special Kind of Idiot.....(Do Not Watch if you are easily offended)

It takes a special kind of idiot to do something like this to himself. I'm betting he rode the short bus to school.

Special Note to any Shrinking Violets in the audience: Don't Watch This!!!!

It's a work of FICTION....

I've read The Da Vinci Code twice now. I still don't see what all the hype and outrage is about. It's a book. More over, it's a FICTIONAL book. I know that there are historians and scholars that claim Christ married and had a child, but this book...THIS particular piece of writing is FICTION. If peopel read it and get all confused then they should seriously think about therepy because if you can't seperate reality from fiction in your own mind, well......

I can understand why some people may not have wanted to read the book. They may have seen it as attacking the foundation of the Christian faith. I may not agree, but I respect their feelings. What I can't get behind is this sudden media driven push to stir up a controversy over a piece of FICTION!!!!

When Dan Brown comes out with a book he presents as fact, and then produces something he claims is hard evidence to back it up, then I will agree with people getting a little harried. Until that time, pull your panties out of your buttcheeks and sit down. It's a BOOK...for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!!!

SHEESH!!!!!!

So yeah......

Well, here it is almost midnight and I'm still awake.....AGAIN. Anyone reading this surprised? No? Didn't think so. Moving on.

The day started out well, got some good news, got excited about that. Then it turns out the good news was falsely delivered....so yeah. I hate when people tell you something before they verify the facts, get your hopes all up and then WHAM!!! All of a sudden you're having a shitty ass day. What's up with that.

Now, as if having the rug YANKED out from under me isn't enough I get told...wait for it....I'm being irrational. So, let's recap shall we? I get told story A then arrive at my destination and am told that no, sorry, Story A was incorrect and you have to wait a week. This throws everything I have just planned for out of whack and puts in serious jeopardy several things. While this may not be said persons fault, it doesn't make the event any less real, or any less traumatic....right?

Then when said person begins to badger me about what's going on and I tell them it's nothing I want to discuss, they tell me I'm being irrational. God love lawyers.

I just want to find a nice quiet place to hunker down with a book and a tall glass of diet pepsi...is that so wrong?

God I need a vacation!!!

Have I ever mentioned?

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate waiting? I'm horrible about it. I want everything to happen right away, and when it doesn't it irritates me. Given that little fact, it's amazing I'm so happy being a mom. LOTS of patience required there.

Have I ever mentioned that I have a secret love of Romance Novels? Not ALL Romance Novels, just certain authors....it's one of my guilty little pleasures. I'm currently indulging that little pleasure, having read six of them in the last three days.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate wearing a bra? I really do, I hate them. If I could get away with it, I would never wear one again. I envy women with small, pert little breasts. They buy bras because they're cute and not because otherwise their boobs hang to their bellybuttons. That's just unfair. *shrug* On the other hand, I look much better in tank top or a strapless dress than they do.

Have I ever mentioned that underneath my ranting, somewhat liberal exterior beats the heart of a conservative? I KNOW. I was shocked too. It seems to only rear its ugly little head when matters involving children pop up. Strange, when I was young I was TOTALLY liberal. This may not bode well for the future.


Have I ever mentioned that sometimes I have a tendency to prattle on about nothing in particular?

Bees Wasps and Hornets .....Oh My!!!!

Yesterday is was BEAUTIFUL outside, I mean REALLY GORGEOUS!!! It was one of those nearly perfect days that you just want to spread a blanket out in the yard and lay in the sun soaking up the rays.

Well, I don't have a yard, and I'm in no shape to be laying out....not to mention I don't own anything to lay out in, so we opted for the take the child to the park option.

We took Jareth and went to the city park to play, it was good fun, we stayed for about two hours. He had a blast. After the park we decided to walk downtown and then out to Walmart to do some shopping.

Stopped and bought some summer clothes for the boy. Picked up a couple of DVD's. Stopped and had some lunch. Nothing extraordinary, right? (Well except for the stunning move I made at Subway where I managed to drop a piece of marinara covered meatball RIGHT onto my right breast. Left a HUGE stain. Yeah, that was fun. )

Anyway, we get all the way out to Walmart and we decide to stop in at Gamestop first, check and see what old Playstation games they have.....hang in there I swear this story is going somewhere.....

So we walk into the store, laughing, talking, blah blah blah...I walk over to where the Playstation games are and all of a sudden my arm hurts. I slap at my arm and kind of rub it and I say, " Shit, what the hell is wrong with my arm." Then it hurts again, sort of a sharp little pain, but nothing serious, just kind of weird, you know? I complain again, but pretty soon it goes away so I think nothing of it.

I'm standing there looking at movies and talking to this girl I know when she says, " You had a bee in your shirt." I look at her and say, "I had a what?"

She turns and points as the bee flys off through the store, " I tried to swat at it. It flew out of your shirt."

At this point my brain clicks on and I say, " Oh crap, I wonder if that's why my arm was hurting. I wonder if I got stung."

I lift up my shirt sleeve and sure enough, there it is, a bee sting. Well, not just A bee sting....FOUR beetings. Yeah, so it wasn't a bee, it was probably a wasp or something and it stung me four times, and apparantly I wasn't there enough to notice. How do you like that?

I haven't been stung by a bee since I was nine. I haven't been stung by anything since I was nine. And then WHAM four in one day. Big kicker here, the stings were gone in under two hours, totally vanished. You can't even tell I was stung at all.

What a thing.

It was still a nearly perfect day though.

This one is good for a laugh on a Friday, too

You have to wonder who has this kind of time on their hands.

This is Just Wrong.....Funny, But Wrong

Just watch the video.....*shakes her head* So funny, and still so wrong.

Genius I tell you, sheer Genius!!!!

The geniuses over at the Harvard Medical School have decided that chronic stress could help cause depression. Gee guys, you think???? I thought Harvard was for smart folk. You know, smarter than most....smarter than say, me....

I could have told you that chronic stress would contribute to and even CAUSE depression. How much grant money from the federal government do you suppose these idiots wasted on this brilliant piece of academic work?

Seriously people, I haven't seen something this stunning since the fabulous ketchup flow rate study of the 1980's.

Read the article. Basically, they made mice stressed out ( how hard do you supppose THAT is to do?) and then measured which ones seemed more depressed.

And I quote:

"Compared to the mice with short-term exposure, the mice with chronic exposure took much longer to emerge from a small dark compartment into a brightly lit open field. This is a common behavioral test of anxiety in animals. The results suggest that the mice with chronic exposure were more fearful and less willing to explore their new environment." (they are reffering to a hormone they gave the mice to simulate chronic stress)


And here's the kicker....they actually got PUBLISHED!!!!!!! And not in like Bob's Big Book of Crap We Already Knew. They got published in Behavioral Neuroscience. Must have been a slow month for the scientific community.

The Plight of the Fat Girl

I hope I lose this baby weight quickly because I seriously don't think I'm going to last long as a fat girl again. I've been browsing the "plus size" clothing that's out this summer and OH MY GOD!!! Can you say Ungodly Ugly Batman? I knew that you could. I want my damned jeans and my funky tshirts back....and I want them back now.

I refuse to walk around dressed like my grandmother!! *insert stomping of the foot here*

I will be back in my oh so cute size 12 jeans and my check out my great breasts tshirts by August if I have to go to the stupid gym every freaking day! *stomps foot once more for good measure and dramatic, childlike effect*

Okay, I feel better now.

Joe Cartoon

So I'm checking out Steph's blog tonight like I always do and she has a link to Joe Cartoons website posted. (click the title...go on, you know you want to) I haven't been there in ages, it was good fun.

You have to check out the new one, 10 Pump BB Gun and don't miss Live and Let Dive 2. You have to hunt for that one, but it's worth it.

If you've never been to this site before, spend some time, surf around, you'll be glad you did. If you've been before, but it's been awhile, reaquaint yourself...good times to be had by all.

UnSexy Men

Apparently two men wrote this list. Hmmmm.....now did they ask women or did they just decide they thought these men weren't sexy? Because I disagree with several of their choices, but then we've already established that I have slightly weird taste in men.

I actually had to look up several of the men on the list, most of them sports related...or politically affiliated. And I have to admit, I agree with the whole Brad Pitt thing. I really don't find him all that attractive. (Please reference weird taste in men comment)

Here's the list, see if you agree with it:(wuth occassional commentary by yours truly)

Complete List

001. Gilbert Gottfried (Come on, I think he's kind of cute...seriously)

002. Randy Johnson

003. Roger Ebert

004. Dr. Phil McGraw (Not what I would call *sexy* but not *unsexy* either)

005. Alan Colmes

006. Chad Kroeger (Sooooo do not agree with this one!!)

007. Mike Mills

008. Osama Bin Laden (Unsexy? How about Fucking EVIL???)

009. Jay Leno ( A sense of humor and great hair....)

010. Don Imus

011. Michael Jackson (Shivers...)

012. Wallace Shawn

013. Mike D. of the Beastie Boys

014. Richard Simmons (One of the gayest gay men ever)

015. Jon Lovitz ( Again, I think he's got something kind of cute goin on)

016. Carrot Top ( Two words Ick Y)

017. Jerry Seinfeld

018. Malcolm Gladwell (WHO?)

019. Chevy Chase (Totally shouldn't be on the list)

020. Raffi

021. Ron Howard (not really unsexy, just hard to get past the whole Richie Cunningham thing)

022. Clint Howard (Horror movie level not sexy)

023. Bill Gates ( There is a difference between seriously nerdy and not sexy...although Bill has BOTH)

024. Paul Shaffer

025. Axl Rose (Drugs will do that to you)

026. Tim Burton (Wierd, but kind of hot)

027. Edward James Olmos

028. Gerard Way

029. Don Zimmer

030. Tony Kornheiser

031. Chris Kattan

032. Otis Nixon

033. Julian Tavarez

034. Christopher Lloyd ( LOVE HIM)

035. Willie McGee

036. Pat Cummings

037. Scottie Pippen

038. Larry David

039. Michael Moore

040. Al Franken

041. Paris Latsis

042. Rush Limbaugh (Any one that finds this man sexy should seek immediate professional help)

043. David Gest

044. Gary Busey

045. Nick Nolte ( Have you seen the mugshot????)

046. Leif Garrett (One of my first loves, but honestly has gotten crusty in the old age)

047. Andy Dick (Just creepy)

048. Scott Stapp

049. Lyle Lovett

050. Ric Ocasek

051. Bill Wyman

052. Danny DeVito

053. Peter Jackson

054. Drew Carey ( Now this man is an example of Nerdy SEXY....)

055. Newt Gingrich

056. Rob Schneider

057. Ed O'Neil

058. Bill O'Reilly

059. Clay Aiken ( Santa's elf unsexy)

060. Joe Lieberman

061. Jim Gaffigan

062. Bill Maher

063. John Popper

064. Dennis Miller

065. John Madden

066. Robert Englund

067. Robert Patrick (Disagree...I'd do him)

068. John Ashcroft

069. Joe Gannascolli

070. Kevin James

071. George Steinbrenner

072. Grady Little

073. Harvey Pekar

074. DJ Qualls

075. Joey Buttafuoco

076. Garry Shandling

077. Meat Loaf Aday

078. Joe Walsh

079. Tom from Myspace

080. Art Garfunkel

081. Brian Posehn

082. Howie Mandel ( Definatly sexy since he went bald)

083. Barry Bonds

084. Dick Vitale

085. Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg

086. Jeff Van Gundy

087. Jimmy Johnson

088. John Clayton

089. Don Vito

090. Lemmy Kilmister

091. Jose Canseco

092. Bill Parcells

093. Ric Flair

094. Ralph Nader

095. Dennis Kacinich

096. Horatio Sanz

097. Dom DeLuise

098. Emeril Lagasse

099. Kevin Federline (white trash nasty unsexy)

100. Brad Pitt ( had his moments, but not sexy....Fight Club, I could see it...but not on my top ten list)

The Boobie Fairy

The Boobie Fairy arrived sometime last night. I was hoping to avoid that particular side effect of pregnancy this time, I'm not sure why I was deliusional, but there you have it. Now I have boobs twice their normal size and I get to milk myself like a cow every day for the next week or so.

To much information???? *shrug* Ahh well, as uncomfortable as I am right now, I feel the need to spread it around, even if it is only intellectually in the form of unsettling images. HonestlY? If it wouldn't border on pornographic I would probably post before and after images. *laughs* (Those of you who know me know I'm kidding now)

I called the local gym today to find out if they have a trainer on staff who can keep me from killing myself when I start working out to lose the MASSIVE amount of weight I gained....I am going to post before and after shots of that, because it will be worth it. I mean for the love of Bob...I have FAT FEET!!!!!! Do you know how depressing that is? Fat feet, I never even knew my feet could gain weight. I'm a little disgusted and at the same time fascinated.

I have a feeling that a lot of time will be devoted to talking about my body and it's radical and sometimes disgusting shifts over the next months.....look away now if you have a weak stomach.

Fair warning has been given.

New Baby!

I had the baby on Friday, April 14th, at 3:09 p.m. I tried to post pictures to this posting, but for some reason, they wouldn't come up. Sooooo, I have linked this post to the post on Stephanie's Blog that contains pictures of Genevive, James and Judy.

Genevive weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 20 inches long. She's got beautiful, alert blue eyes and a full head of soft brown hair. In short, she's perfect. James and Judy are the picture of new parents, always watching her, checking her toes and looking at her fingers, it's very sweet.

Judy is going to be THE mom. You know the one. She was the ultimate...you would go over to that particular friends house for sleepover and there was always something cool to do...a craft project, cookies to bake, a new game they had invented...something GREAT!!! Yeah, that will sooo be Judy!

And James...well, James is going to be that dad we all envied our friends for having. The one they all pretended to be embarrassed about, but you knew they were proud to have them. The dad that chaperones the dances, but manages not to get in the way. The dad that takes time out of his Saturday to drive his preteen daughter and five of her giggly friends to the mall...all by himself. The dad that threatens to break the legs of the first boyfriend that makes her cry...he never really does it, but just knowing he would makes her feel better. Yeah, that's James.

Genevive is one very lucky little girl. Her life will be filled with art and color and love and she will grow up knowing that the world can be a special wonderful place.

Russ and I will miss her each day, but knowing where she is and all that she is blessed with, we will smile everytime we think of her and her family.

My son had a nightmare tonight. He woke up crying and scared and he wanted me to snuggle him. I can't even explain what that feeling is like, to have this tiny, precious little person look at me with such trust and love.

It's humbling.

So I snuggled him. We sat in the Big Comfy Chair and watched a movie until he fell asleep, and then I just watched him sleep for a little while.

When I was young I thought the world was about getting a job that paid a lot, about having tons of people like you....and then I had children. Now I know that life is about making sure the people you love are safe and secure. God entrusted me with these two precious lives, made them mine to care for and I couldn't have asked for a better job.

I'm a mommy. No matter what else I accomplish in my life time, nothing will ever match the importance or the accomplishment of that.

If you have children, and you read this...take time tonight to just watch them sleep, it's a miracle right there in your own home.

This is all Stephanie's fault...I just want everyone to know that.*smile*

All right, I'm posting this here so that maybe, just maybe one or two of you, and I think that's all there are, will answer it....just so I don't feel like more of a geek than I already am.

********************************
Okay, seriously, I'm only doing this because I can't sleep.

Two Names You Go by
1. Serena
2. Mommy

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Greek
2. Norwegian (don't even ask)

Two Things That Scare You
1. My children being hurt
2. My house catching on fire.

Two Fears You Overcame
1.Being alone
2. Trusting a person I didn't give birth too.

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Diet Soda
2. BOOKS

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Underwear
2. t-shirt

Two Things You Wore Too Much This Year
1. track pants ( give me a break, I'm pregnant)
2. white tshirts (see above)

This Year's Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. Beth Hart
2. Sarah McLachlan

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. DURAN DURAN
2. Counting Crows

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. Honesty
2. Communication

Two Physical Things That Appeal To You
1. strong hands
2. Smile

Two of Your Favorite Movies of the Year
1.A History of Violence
2. Walk the Line

Best Movies of All Time
1. The Road Home ( Chinese)
2. Star Wars

Two Things You Hate
1. Lying
2.fake concern

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. writing
2. reading

Two Things You Learned Last Year
1. I can let go of the past
2. Money really isn't that important

Two Accomplishments You Are Proud Of
1. My children
2. Not hiding my mental illness

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. To take my daughter on vacation
2. To finish my college degree

Two Places You Went Last Year
1. Wendover ( with Steph)
2. North Dakota

Two Places You Want to Go on Vacation
1. China
2. New York

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Sky Dive
2. visit the Smitsonian

Two Ways That You Are a Stereotypical Example of Your Gender
1. I get angry at stupid crap
2. I think men are pigs

Two Things That Make You Stand Out
1. My breasts
2. My laugh

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
1. I actually like one Brittany Spears song
2. I have worn pink in public before.

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. Finishing the paper work for the adoption
2. How to finish the poem I started last night

Two Favorite Web Sites
1.jorgelives.blogspot.com (nepotism lives!!! I have to admit, I'm biased)
2. Barnes and Noble.com

Two Favorite Sports (to watch and/or play)
1. Sports??? What?? Ughhh
2.

Two People Who Will Fill This Out
1. If I post it? Russ and ummm...maybe Matt
2.

Two Things You Did Last Night
1.Worked on homework
2. stayed up to damn late

Two Shows You Like To Watch
1. Numbers
2. House.

Two Places You Like To Go To
1.The Bookstore
2. Amywhere with Steph

Two Favorite Subjects In School
1. English
2. History

Two Favorite Places To Eat
1. Truckstops
2. anywhere else I can get good fries ( I'm easy to please)

Two Things You Like About Yourself (physically)
1. lips
2. skin

Two Things You Ate Today
1. Stouffer's French Bread Pizza
2. Shredded Wheat

Two People You Last Talked To
1. My attorney
2. Russ

Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow
1. Getting Jareth's Picture taken
2. Maling paperwork

Two Goals for the New Year
1. lose the baby weight
2. Start school again

Work in Progress

i am the silence in the hallway
that thing you whisper to yourself
promises you never kept

i know you

i am your guilty secret
slick like rain water on a greasy drive
dirty and polluted


i am every angry moment
all the shivers in your spine

i am the judgement that waits for you
every blow you landed
every ugly word you threw

i caught them
tight inside my skin


Started working on this the other night....inside my head....wanted to get it written out and see how it felt. Comments appreciated.

Let's Not Forget

While we in this country sit and scream at each other about whether people who enter our borders illegally should be given special treatment, let's not forget that the world continues to go on.

Let's remember a few things that might put what we are squabbling over in perspective:

People are dying of starvation in all parts of the world, including the United States. Statistics from a recent article:

"Food has never before existed in such abundance. The U.S. alone produces enough to feed half the world—even though one in eight Americans suffers from hunger. In Brazil, one in five people in cities is overweight, while 40 percent can’t afford to buy quality food. India, nearly self-sufficient in food production, has twice the number of underweight children as sub-Saharan Africa. If there’s plenty to eat, why are 852 million people around the world—mainly women and children—on the verge of starvation?"


"Why?" is a good question, don't you think?

Wars in the third world and the middle east continue to tear families apart and kill innocent men, women and children. Imagine having to worry about sending your child to school in the morning because you are afraid they might not make it home alive, or worse still, having no school to send your child to. Imagine living somewhere like Afghanistan where when winter comes you have no means to build adequate shelter or provide adequate food and you know that by the end, you will have seen one or more of your children die of cold or starvation.

The next time you prepare to open your mouth to begina diatribe about how horrible things are here, about how the government isn't doing what it needs to do, look around. Do you have a roof over your head? Did your children go to bed with full stomaches last night? If the answer is yes, I would suggest you take ten seconds and think about what it would be like to have to answer no.....kind of places things in a different light, doesn't it?

Where there's smoke, there's fire.....somewhere

Getting ready for bed last night and all of a sudden the entire back half of my house smells like something is burning.

Okay...breathe deep, don't panic. RIGHT!

I promptly begin to freak out, because dear reader, I am scared to damn death of having my house catch on fire.

It's midnight, it's cold outside, the wind is blowing and we have no flashlight...but I make Russ go outside and check under the trailer (yes, I live in a little redneck box)I want to know if there is a reason for me to continue to panic or not.

Russ, being a man, doesn't think before he answers the following question, " Do you see anything under there?"

He answers, " Yeah, I see something." He doesn't bother to eleaborate.

This answer sends me scurrying into the house to grab the phone and begin the frantic dialing of 911. Luckily he catches me in time and adds this, " I don't think it's fire though." My heart rate goes down a bit.

After about ten minutes, we locate the source of the smell. Our neighbors are burning some particuallarly nasty smelling wood and because of the wind and lack of proper insulation at my home, the smoke is getting blown inside.

I don't sleep well all night....and I've had enough excitement to last me all weekend, thank you very much.

I'd like to kill Murphey, whoever he was....

You know that whole Murphy's law thing? Well I would love to go back in time and kill whoever "Murphey" was.

We just get caught up enough to have some room and Russ loses his job due to a "slow down"....I have three weeks left until the baby is born, so no one is going to hire me right now....Murphey's law, you see?

"If anything can go wrong it will, and at the worst possible moment."

*dramatic sigh* Seriously, just felt the need to bitch for a brief moment. I'm seriously thinking about building a time machine and returning to the glory of being twelve....school, sleepovers and the occasionall babysitting job. Anyone want to join me?

Yikes!!

If you can look at this and not laugh, I don't know what's wrong with you.

Got a new computer!!

My new computer arrived this evening, all bright and shiny and full of promise.

And then....

There was so much CRAP already installed!!! It took me the better part of an hour to clean it up. I'm still rearranging the settings so IE isn't screwing with me everytime I turn around.

Tomorrow I get to network my two hard drives together...that should be fun!

Still...I got a new computer!!!

WARNING: This post will probably offend most everyone that reads it!!!!!!!

I have had enough !! Have you been reading or watching the news lately? This whole thing about immigration laws? Are they serious? I mean the people standing out in the street yelling that their rights are being infringed upon, screaming, " I'm an American, too!"

No, you are not an American. Unless you have entered this country legally, pay taxes and have begun the naturalization process, you are NOT an American. You are an illegal immigrant.

Scream all you want to about how this country was founded by immigrants. The fact is that that was over 100 years ago and the immigration laws, if there were any were different. We are talking about NOW...Today....not "was" or "back then". If you come into this country illegally, I don't care what you're intentions were, I don't care why...you are here against the law and it should be treated as such. I don't even care what country you come from, Mexico, Canada, Cuba, Finland....makes no difference. Here illegally is here illegally.

If I were to slip unnoticed into another country and try to set up residence and I got caught, I would be treated as a criminal, deported...etc...why should it be any different here.

I'm all for people having the ability to make their lives and the lives of their families better, but come ON....it should be done properly. I'm sorry if people feel that this is the place to come to fix everything, but if we, as a nation, don't start fixing the things that are wrong with US we're doomed to continue to decline.

What about the welfare system? Overburdened and severly outdated? What about the lack of support medically and mentally for the poor and the needy that were BORN in this country?

When somone that was born here...no matter what their ethnic background gets turned away when they need assistance, but someone that is here illegally can get assistance, doesn't that sound wrong?

Don't get in my face and scream at me that they have rights, too. I know that, but it should have to be done according to the LAW. I have to live by them, I have to follow them...if people want to live here and be "Americans" then they should have to do the same?

Why is it that in this country we either swing all the way to the left, or allll the way to the right?

Where in the BLUE HELL did all of the common sense in the world go? If anyone has seen it, please pack it up and ship it back, because I'm about to scream.

A Moment of Silence

The man responsible for inventing the chicken nugget has died.

I was browsing through the news on MSNBC and came across an article talking about Robert Baker, who, at the age of 84, passed away this month. Apparently Mr. Baker was the man responible for the invention of the chicken nugget.

Anyone reading this not remember the first time they had chicken nuggets? It's practically a staple of most American toddlers diets between the ages of 2 and 4. They serve them in all varities in all kinds of restaurants.


I used to have Chicken Nugget toys from McDonald's, back when Happy Meals came in little boxes you could never close and the nuggets were packaged in a styrofoam container.

Let's face it folks.....even if we would like to think that we are of higher sensabilities and like to hear only "important" news, doesn't it make you a little sad to know that the man who invented such a great comfort food has left us?

Makes me a little sad.

Sick Baby

My son has been sick all weekend. I feel so bad for him because I can't fix it and he just doesn't understand why. It's the part of being a parent that I hate the most. The part where your child looks at you and is hurt and crying and all you can do is pick them up and snuggle them.

He had a fever most of the weekend and didn't want to eat. We spent most of our time sitting on the couch with me rubbing his little feet and whispering to him to get him to try and sleep.

When the fever finally broke, he sat up and smiled a tired smile and blew me a little kiss.....and I swear to God, it made my eyes tear up. He is the sweetest little thing.

This is the first time he's actually been sick..you know, something more than the sniffles, so it was hard on me....even harder on his daddy.

Russ had to work on Friday and so he wasn't able to stay home and do the snuggle kiss thing. Poor man looked like he was going to the gallows when he walked out of this house on Friday morning, his son laying in my arms behind him crying for daddy.

He made it home in record time that night, and spent the rest of the weekend fetching juice, playing cars and rubbing Jareth's back. It was cute and sweet and warmed my heart.

We may not have money, we may live in a ratty ass little trailer, we may not even always like each other...but there is a lot of love in this house. It just takes something like a sweet, exhausted, sick little boy to bring it to the front of our minds. Thank god for children....God couldn't have given me a better gift.

Goodbye Bink

Today my son lost his last "bink" ( his pacifier) and instead of tearing the house apart looking for it, I have decided to let it stay lost.

Now comes a week to ten days of constant crying at naptime and bedtime and at other various times during the day.....I am SOOOO looking forward to this. He's laying in bed right now, exhausted and fussy, but refusing to go to sleep. He knows it's gone and he wants me to find it and I feel like a giant heel because I haven't done it yet.

Parental guilt, you know I love it.

Why is it that this tiny little child can look at me with tears in his eyes and I want to move the earth to make it better? Where does that come from? I have never understood how some people can just watch their children cry in pain, or fear, or uncertainty. I just have to pick mine up, snuggle them and try to reassure them that life will continue and that they will be okay. And when I can't..it kills me inside.

Well, wish me luck with the removal of the final bink.....hopefully he'll get used to it before I cave and go buy him a new one.

Any bets???

Disgusted.....

So I'm reading the news online today and I come across an article on MSNBC about a teacher in Florida accused of having sex with a fourteen year old boy. The DA decided to drop the charges so the victim wouldn't have to testify. So the woman gets off pretty much unpunished.

Here's the part that disgusted me, as I'm reading I come across this quote fromt eh woman:

At a news conference in Tampa, Lafave said she has bipolar disorder, and her attorney said she is getting treatment.

“I want the world to see that bipolar is real,” Lafave said. “Not one time has the media brought up the subject of my bipolar. I challenge you to read a book or an article on bipolar illness.”

I thought I was going to puke. I happen to be bipolar, and there has not been one time in my life, not medicated or otherwise...not in the middle of my WORST manic episode, that I have EVER felt the urge to have sex with a child.

The fact that this is even being presented as a plausible excuse, " Oh, did I have sex with a child, I'm sorry, I was having an episode, it really wasn't my fault." makes me want to call the State Attorney's office in Florida and yell at someone. This woman is, in my opinion, a glaring example of why mental illness has such a stigma still attached to it.

When we allow people to say, "Yes, I did it, but it really wasn't my fault, I'm sick" we degrade the people who have struggled against their illnesses, fought long and hard to overcome them and learned to take responsibility for their own actions.

It's past time that we stand up and say, "There are reasons and there are excuses, we're tired of excuses."

There may be an undrelying cause to a problem, but that doesn't necessarily excuse the person who did wrong from accepting responsibility and punishment for what they did.

Grocery Lists

Do you write a list before you go to the grocery store? What do you do with it when your done? Apparently there is a home for all those abandoned grocery lists.

No, Seriously.....check it out. Click on the title of the post and you'll see what I mean. I could hardly believe my eyes....the internet does have a site for everything.

Just for the Hell of It

Come on, admit it, this is funny!

I was just reading an article about a proposed solution to fears of heightened crime in the disater zone in Louisiana, specifically St. Charles Parish.

They are proposal is this: Hire a private security company and deputize them, give them guns and some "supervision" and places like temporary camps and constuction sites.

Now, I think this sounds like a decent plan, on the surface. It would provide much needed relief to a law enforcement agency being spread to thin by lack of trained personell and lack of money to pay them.

However:

Has anyone considered the following?

(1) it will cost the taxpayers of this country nearly $700 dollars a day, totalling billions, over the next three years. Why not recruit actual officers from other areas of the country, and provide the parish with the funds to pay them what they would normally earn?

(2) What happens the first time one of these "deputies" screws up what would be a legitimate arrest because they get hot headed and do not follow proper procedure? Violation of a suspects civil rights would cause the case to be tossed, and let a criminal go free. And if you think that won't happen...wait, it will.

I think that the government has spent to much time putting people up in hotel rooms and talking about how they are going to fix things. They need to just DO IT!!! Give the people who are homeless and out of work, work rebuilding the city. Give them a place to live...but not cruise ships and hotels.

We need to face the facts, Katrina did serious damage, but sitting around and talking about it isn't fixing anything.

I Love Toys!!!

They have a new show on VH1 called I Love Toys. They are counting down the top 100 toys and I have been surprised how many of them I actually had as a kid.

1. The Big Wheel: Anyone else have one of these? You'd see all the kids in the commercial zipping down the sidewalk, when in reality, you could barely get it moving without someone shoving you down the sidewalk first.

2. Spirograph: I used to run the pen over and over the pattern until the paper cut, yeah I was a twisted child.

3. Baby Alive: I actually had one of these. It was a baby doll that you fed "real" food to and then she peed or pooped her diaper. Charming, huh?

4. Tinkertoys: Oh yeah....sticks and wheels with holes....I used to make Magic Wands and pretend I was a princess.

5. Tonka Trucks: Back when I was a kid, they were made out of metal, and if you got pissed off at one of your friends it could become a deadly weapon. Now they are made of mostly plastic. That's sad.

6. Fisher Price Little People: Little People were made of wood or plastic and were actually little when I was playing with them. Now they have these cherubic little faces and cute little outfits molded onto them.

Toys are so much fun. I love going into the second hand store and finding old toys from when I was little. I actually found an old He-Man action figure the other day....Wow...talk about a gay icon, huh? He-Man was something else.

Ahhh...nostalgia!!!

This one is for Stephanie!!!

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Midweek laugh......

Just because!

Orwell was right......

Okay, here's a reallly bad idea. Store ALL of your personal and private information on a coporate server.

There's an article on MSN this morning talking about how Google is trying to develope some sort "GDrive". This would take all of the information on your personal computer's hard drive.....cookies, bookmarks, emails....everything....and store it to Google servers.

Anyone besides me see the danger in this little scenario? Are we really so complacent as a society, so lax in protecting our own freedoms that anyone would really take advantage of this? Especially with the Patriot Act in place. What's to stop the federal government from subpeoning Google and making them give full access to all data stored to the FBI or some such nonsense....for the good of National Security, of course. ( Kind of like them looking at peoples library records....for National Security *wink wink*)

Wow....do I sound like a conspiracy theorist or what? Somebody better get me some aluminum foil......

They Got me....

As much as I hate to admit it, I watched the last hour of the Oscars tonight. I didn't mean to watch, but as I was flipping past I got sucked in. I haven't watched an awards show in YEARS and here I end up watchin the Oscars..sheesh.

Have you noticed that there is an awards show for everything under the sun now? It used to be the Grammys, the Golden Globe, the Academy Awards, The Emmys and the Tony Awards. Now they have Billboard, People's Choice, Image, American Music, blah, blah blah...it goes on and on. It's sort of like saying, "Well if you don't win one here, just wait, another award show will be along in a moment."

Do any of these awards even mean anything anymore? I don't watch the Grammy Awards anymore because all of the music coming out today pretty much sounds the same, or is hyped up drivel. They don't give awards for ACTUAL music. The Oscars...well let's just say until they actually gave one to Peter Jackson for LOTR I hadn't agreed with most of the selections in a LONG time...right about the time Whoppie Goldberg didn't win for The Color Purple.

We are becoming a society of people who seem desperate for acknowledgement and pats on the back. It seems to me that very few people do what they do for the sheer love of it, and the ones that do don't seem to get awards.

Am I ranting? I'm ranting....I'll come back when I have something of intellectual value to impart.

Or as soon as the urge to rant overtakes me again....

Whichever comes first.

What I learned today

I learned :

When you let your two year old have red jello, he should be on the tile in the kitchen.

The dog doesn't like red jello, or mini carrots, but he will eat tiny pieces of cheese and broken pringles.

Nair and pregnancy, while sounding harmless enough, is simply not a good idea. ( And that's ALL I'm saying)

Staying up until six am is only fun when you're a teenager and there are cute guys involved, not when your two year old decides that sleeping is something he really doesn't need to do.

Dishes will most certainly NOT wash themselves.

Neither will clothes.

It is possible to get an entire aisle in Walmart to stare at you if you make the same funny noises, out loud, that your toddler makes.

What did you learn today?

My son....the gerbil

Apparently my son is part gerbil. We put him to bed last night, expecting the normal amount of playing around before he went to bed....you know fussing, getting up, pulling toys out....just general" I don't want to go to bed yet" stuff.

About twenty minutes after we laid him down, I sent Russ in to check on him and I hear, " Would you like to come and look at what your son has done?" ( He's always MY son when he gets into something...)

I stepped around the corner and looked into my son's room, and what do I see? A small Nerf footbal we had bought him laying on his bed, torn to shreds....not by little fingers, but by little teeth. It looked like the dog had gotten a hold of it. I laughed so hard I thought I would pee.

At least he didn't shove Cheerio's up his nose though, right?

Apparently there is a new case being heard in England regarding the Da Vinci Code. It seems that the authors of a book, "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" think that author Dan Brown stole his idea from them.

Their attorney claims that they aren't suing based on theft of specific parts of the text, but on the "appropriation of themes and ideas".

Okay....here's my problem with that. Do they honestly believe that they are the only ones to have had that particular idea? I mean really. If you're going to start suing for "appropriation of themes and ideas" every romance novelist in the WORLD is guilty. Those themes and ideas get recycled so often it's not funny, and yet you don't see Nora Roberts and Jayne Anne Krantz fist fighting ont he steps of the courthouse.

I think, personally, that these two men had an idea and the book just didn't take off....and now they want a slice of a more successful pie. Plain and simple.

My son, whom I love dearly, refuses to sleep. It is after two in the morning and he is STILL awake. And not the quiet, snuggled up with mommy awake either. It's the screaming, hollering, crying whenever you put him to bed awake. The one that you just can't ignore.

I have a feeling that the next year of my son's life is going to be very interesting. I'm about to catch all of the "terrible two" stuff my daughter never did.

Stay Tuned.

*insert evil laugh here*

I usually don't post the results of these silly little quizzes, but this one was funny.

You Are 68% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

I love it!!!

So I have to go out to the hospital lab tomorrow and have that stupid three hour blood test. I've been reading and reasearching about the gestational diabetes tests and it seems that there are a lot of false positives recorded....this does not make me smile.

I will be asking the technician , and my doctor what the difference is between the tests they are having me take and the daily blood testing Russ has to do. I've been checking my blood sugar at random and if I check it in the morning it's around 90 or 95, if I check it after I eat, it's never higher than 115, which, although it's at the higher end, is still well within normal for my age and body weight....at least according to the American Diabetes Association.

It's frustrating not to know what to trust. I'm gonna be so frustrated if I have to spend the last two months of this pregnancy on a special diet...I really am. I'll do it though, because any chance is to much of a chance, you know? *sighs* I hate being a responsible adult, I really do.

Why do we give these things titles?

I was just thinking about that....I hate having to come up with clever or interesting titles for every new post I make. So why do I do it? Am I giving in to peer pressure? No. Am I looking for some sort of recognition of my ability to aptly title every little thing I write? No.

I think I may just stop titling the damn things unless I start the post with a specific theme in mind. Maybe I'll just start posting with no clue as to what you are about to read.

Maybe I shouldn't try to write after midnight anymore.

My son and the snow boots

My son, who is almost two, has been wearing his snow boots everywhere since I bought them for him a month ago. Last night, he was running around the house in a diaper and his snow boots. Needless to say they are his favorite thing.

Here's the problem, they stink. He wears them all the time, usually without socks, so his little feet sweat. And now the boots ( and my sons feet, by the end of the day_ smell awful.

I just don't have the heart to take them away from him, and the lining isn't removable, so washing is out. I think this is one of those things I'm going to chalk up to the " Do you have any idea what I put up with when you were little" column and save it so I can embarrass him in front of his first real girlfriend.

Requiem

It was spring when she met him. He smiled at her when she made a joke. They shared a few conversations in the weeks that followed and she began to look forward to seeing him.

When he asked her out, she said yes, reluctantly. Dating had never been her thing. He laughed and told her it was only drinks, not a marriage proposal.

Summer was touching the earth when he proposed. The sweat of sex still clinging to him. He swore he loved her like he had loved no other. She swallowed her fear and said yes. They held each other like tomorrow could never touch them.

The chill of fall was on the wind when she felt him move away from her. The child inside her moved and she cried for what might not be. She bled and he promised to be with her forever.

Winter froze the ground when she knew he was gone. No more long nights talking, no more casual caresses or whispered words of love. Lies leaked from his mouth, running like acid into her.

Spring came again when the child arrived. Bright and beautiful, coloring her world with meaning. She held him and promised his life would be good. She looked at the man she had thought was good and felt the sorrow leach her strength.

Summer came again and she knew he did not care. No loving touches, no small remembrances. Only more acrid lies. They carved her apart. He only looked through her, not caring for her pain.

It was fall again when they found her. Body broke, torn apart. All she had left was a simple shred of paper, what remained of his only love letter.

Better to die a broken body, a broken heart takes to long.

for her

i wonder
did you ever see the inside of fear
did you ever see the inside of the night

i wonder
did you ever see the long dark
that came before the moment of glory

i wonder
where it all began for you
and where it all ended for me

i wonder

i want to know
where i left the person i was
the things i was going to do

i want to know
where i became the frightened shell
that huddled in the drunken shadow
of nightmares

i want to know

where i woke up
where did i realize i was not the
person i could be

i look into her eyes and

i know

Just a note

Over the next few days I will be posting poetry and some other writings from my other site to this board. This is all old stuff, but I'm closing the other site down so I'm going to post the writing in here for now. some of you have already read this stuff.....so feel free to skip it, or read it again.

That is all....continue with your day

I forgot why I came in here...

Perhaps two in the morning isn't the best time to have important thoughts and try to put them out for the world to read.

I logged in so I could say something that I thought was of vital importance, and then I got totally sidetracked by something and now I've forgotten what it was that was so earth shatteringly important I had to come online at two a.m.

Somebody get me an Ambien.....

Inadequacy...You Know I love it!

I'm feeling a little inadequate at the moment. Well, maybe inadequate isn't the right word, but it's the best one I can come up with at !:16 in the morning. I've been reading the blogs of some other people, and I've come to the following conclusions:

(1) Some people have serious views on some truly non-serious subjects.

(2) Some people put WAY more effort and time into their blog than I do.

Apparently, people actually do read these things. Who knew? Maybe I should spruce the place up a bit. Add some catchy phrases, a few pictures.......

Meh......

Ten Things that make me happy

(1) My children's laughter
(2) The smell of my dog when he's warm from sleeping in my lap
(3) Dollie's smile
(4) The smell of fresh baked bread
(5) The way trees look after a fresh frost has settled on them
(6) Discovering that I can do something I thought I couldn't
(7) Curling up with a soft blanket and a good book to read for a whole afternoon
(8) Spending time with Stephanine
(9) Shopping for nothing special with my daughter, just so we have an excuse to eat Chinese food
(10) Making someone else smile

Do you think I have weird taste in men?

Throughout my life, I have never really gravitated toward "pretty boys". I've always thought I should be the pretty one in the relationship....I want my men to look like men. Oh, and they have to be smart, and have a sense of humour. NOw, I won't say that some of the men I find attractive aren't prety, but they aren't "prety boys". Just thought I'd share a couple of pictures of the men on my "Top Ten Celebrity Boyfriend" list, cause yeah, I have one of those. Aren't they yummy?

The State of Utah vs. well.....my family I guess

So as amyone who has read my profile knows, I live in Utah. I don't know how much longer I'm going to live in Utah basically because I don't want to live in a state that punishes people, men expecially, when marriages don't work out.

Now, please keep in mind as you read this that I am a divorced woman who spent almost eleven years as a single parent. This will put everything I say into perspective.

As I mentioned before, Russ is being sued by the State of Utah, on behalf of his ex-wife, for a child support issue. The first problem is an outrageous amount of back child support, almost $3,000, that his ex claims he never paid. Well, he did pay it, but he paid it in cash and when she got pissed off at him for dating a younger woman, she took him to ORS and said he hadn't paid her anything in over a year. This is NOT what she told Russ happened you understand...she told Russ that the state told her that any money he had given her prior to her coming into their office was considered a "gift" and that they HAD to go after him for back child support.....this is a LIE. Now he has to hunt and find documentation of payments that are over three and a half years old. Fun!

The second problem is that the Office of Recovery Services has known for over a year that Russ has been unemployed, or underemployed and have flat out refused to reduce his child support to something manageable so he could actually make the payments, thereby avoiding this whole mess. He has asked FOUR times in the last year for a reveiw and each time has been told he needs an attorney to do so....

Apparently the State of Utah doesn't feel that their own agencies should follow the Utah civil code guidelines for low income parents. What a double standard.

And just in case you think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.....Russ is not the only man having this problem. I won't name names, but I know of several men being drug through the rack by the state, simply because they chose to end unhappy relationships.

It amounts to indentured servitude.

I think men, and women, should be responsible for the children they create. I also believe that it should be done in such a way that it doesn't cripple one person for the rest of their lives.

Oh....did I mention that the State takes the attitude that the lazy fat cow of an ex is "entitled" (their word, not mine) to stay home with her children? Meaning that she shouldn't have to work if she doesn't want to. How back asswards is that? Again, if you chose to be the custodial parent, don't you think the burden of supporting those kids is YOURS?

GET A JOB!

( Side note: Russ has, after a LONG search , finally found employment....YEAH!!! He's still underemployed, but at least it's a job!)

Now for the disclaimer.....I realize that some people will be pissed off that I feel this way. Too bad! I already know that there are actually men ( and women) that never pay a dime....they should be taken to task for that. Russ is not one of those men....in the last three years he has paid with every paycheck, until he no longer had a paycheck to pay with. Clear???

End of rant.......( I seem to be doing that a lot lately...ranting I mean.....think it's the hormones?)

It's official....I'm a geek

Webster's defines bibliophile as :

": a lover of books especially for qualities of format; also : a book collector"

I believe dear readers that I qualify in spades.

I have just finished unpacking and shelving five large boxes of paperback books. There are still 2 more large and at least five small boxes of trade size and hardcover books in my storage closet. Not only does this place me, in my opinion, firmly in the "bibliophile" category....I would say it solidifies my "geek" status. When you own more books than bookshelves, well.....they should have a group that meets once a week, right after the alcoholics, to address that issue, don't you think?

I find it sad that more people don't read, that they can't pick up a book and appreciate the time and labor it took to produce a work of fiction. Creating whole worlds in vivid imagery, pictures exploding in your brain as you progress further into the novel.

I love a good movie as much as the next person, probably more ( that's a WHOLE other story) but I'm the goofball you all stare at in the used bookstore that's sniffing the pages and smiling....I know where that book is going to take me, and I'm ready for it.

Do yourself a favor, pick up a book.....any book, and read it. Don't wait for Oprah, or the Today Show, or even the New York Times to tell you that you should. Stop into your local library and pick up something new and interesting, something you never would have read before and crack it open........


A world of wonder and amazement is at your fingertips, don't waste it.

I Just Don't Get It

Valentines Day is fast approaching, and MSN has a lovely little link that will allow those of you who have not put any real thought into what you want to get your loved ones a quick and easy solution. However, that is not what this post is about.

Out of curiosity ( I wanted to see what the going rate on "love" is these days) I clicked on the "Are you a procrasanova" article and began perusing the links listed therein. I came across one for Coach. At the top of their home page are all the lovely little nav bars and there's one labled "Baby", so I clicked it because, well just because.

Here's my question: Who in the BLUE HELL is buying $98 cashmere mittens for their babies?

What could possibly posses someone to think, "Cashmere, that's what my six month old needs." Do these people have NOTHING better to do with their money? I mean come ON people. The first thing that child is going to do is either stick the mitten in it's mouth, or rip it off......the baby just doesn't care if the mitten is cashmere or cotton.

This is a prime example of waste and excess in our society. People sit around bemoaning the state of affairs in the world today and at the same time they are paying some bozo $98 for MITTENS....MITTENS people, I mean you can get mittens for your kids at Target for about $7.....get a clue.

With the extra $91 you could get a whole freakin outfit.

AUTHORS NOTE: If you are reading this and are indeed one of the people buying cashmere mittens and $100 tennis shoes for your kids because they're "cute", do not bother with the angry, offended comments. I will still think it's ridiculous and wasteful. Thank You!

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard......

Do we all know who Lewis Black is? If you don't click the link and check him out. I had a recent re-introduction to his comedy...funny funny shit!!!!!

That's all...just wanted to put that out there.....

James, Judy and a wonderful afternoon

Today we met James and Judy in perosn for the first time. I was nervous, but I think I hid it well. Stephanie came out and picked us up and we arrived at the hotel around 3:30. James and Judy were waiting in the hotel lobby and I immediatly felt comfortable.

I have to tell you, they are the most warm, genuine people. It makes me feel good about the decison to have them adopt. My son absolutely adored them both, which again, says something positve about them.

We chatted for just a bit and then headed to the restaurant. We went to the Red Rock Cafe and the food was delicious. It was Russ and myself, James and Judy, Jareth and Stephanie. We ate and talked and there was a lot of laughter. I can just imagine what the home our daughter will grow up in will be like.....full of life and love and laughter. I don't think I could ask for anything better.

It was so wonderful and open of them to include Stephanie in our afternoon. She loved them, but then I knew she would. Having spoken with Judy frequently over the last few months, I knew that everyone here was going to love the two of them. My son was, of course, loud and rambunctious and full of entertainment. I had such a good time.

Judy and James drove us home and on the way we stopped to view the Great Salt Lake. It was a beautiful day and the sun was just starting to set over the mountains. The view was incredible.

When we got to town, we stopped in at Dollie and Oliver's so that they could meet Judy and James. Again, my son was full of energy....I think that was mostly because we were at "grandma's" house. He loves the two of them more than I can express, and he's always so happy to see them. We talked for a bit before heading back home.

Now...I have got to admit, I was really nervous about bringing them to my house. I am currently living in a frighteningly white trash little trailer, not the sort of first impression you want to make, you know? But neither one of them seemed to notice. We got settled and I brought them the pictures the ultrasound technician had printed out for them. It was their first look at their soon to be little girl. They both looked like they wanted to cry, and in that moment I felt peaceful and secure. Have you ever seen the look on the face of a first time parent when it actually sets in that a new life is about the greet them? Both James and Judy had that look, the one that says, without any words, " I will love you forever."

That is all I need to know. They will love her forever. What more could any parent want for their child?

We're spending the day with them in Salt Lake and I can't wait. More later.

Friday Night...revisited

Stephanie and I went out again on Friday night. She had me home by midnight, which for us is pretty good. We didn't do anything exciting. Had a little dinner. Went to visit her friend Roxanne at work. Shopped. And shopped.....and then shopped some more. I bought movies. I bought stuff for the house. I had a damn good time.

But then, I always have a good time with Stephanie. Next weekend, we're just going to get together at my place, work on the book a bit and then have some dinner and watch a movie. A good time will be had by all.


Today....Saturday....I spent cleaning my house and making it look just a little less like white trash lives here. Just because I live in a trailer, it doesn't mean I have to live like trailer trash. Anyway, my friends Braniff and Laura were over with their son while Branniff helped Russ move some furniture. Nicolai is one of the sweetest little boys I have ever seen....well aside from my son, of course.

Earlier in the day we had to go to Home Depot. I told Nicolai we were going to the Big Orange Store. When we arrived, his father kept trying to get him to call it Home Depot, an Nicolai just kept shaking his head and saying, " No, it's the Big Orange Store." How cute is that?

Tomorrow is the big day, we meet James and Judy for the first time and I have to admit, I'm kind of nervous. It's like a job interview almost. But then I have to think that they are just as nervous. I bought a camera just for the occassion, so I'll take pictures and post them later.

Love to everyone!!!

I'm Confused

Can someone please explain to me why it is breaking news everytime a celebrity gets pregnant? The media acts like they've done something magical, wonderful and new. Women get pregnant every day....all over the world. Should we start posting it to a message board??

"Attention world. I am now pregnant. I will be gaining weight, crying for no apparent reason and cleaning the house at odd hours. Thank you for your attention, we now return you to your lives."

I'm sure that people like Gwennyth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie are very nice. I'm happy for them, having a child is a wonderous thing. But I don't know them, and I really think that there are bigger and better things to focus on than celebrities reproducing.

End of rant.......

To early

So my son, who is almost two, has started signalling his desire to get out of bed every morning by screaming for his father and kicking the wall of his bedroom like a deranged maniac. This is gonna be fun.

It's not even seven in the morning yet......another recent trend with my son....rising at horrifying hours. The other day, we were up at five thirty. And he's teething, so that makes him cranky and short tempered. I feel sorry for him. It's not like I can stop the teeth from coming in.

Last night his poor little face was hurting, and he was crying. His little head was lying on my shoulder and I sat down on the couch and got comfortable and he fell asleep like that.

I guess sometimes, mommy is just the best medicine.

February already?

I can't believe it's February already. I remember it being October just...what, like yesterday? My years are getting shorter and shorter. James and Judy will be arriving in Salt Lake on Sunday. Stephanie, angel that she is, has agreed to come out to Tooele and pick up the family and take us in so we can meet them, have dinner, that kind of thing. Have I mentioned how much I love her recently? She's always there for me. Always.

When we went out the other night, she and I were talking and it struck me that she is the first person, since I was in high school, that I would apply the term "best friend" too. Everyone needs a friend like Stephanie. You know the one I'm talking about. The friend that if you call at three in the morning, because your world is melting down, she'll sit and listen even though she's exhausted and would rather be sleeping. She's the one that makes it fun to enjoy life, because when you're with her, you don't have to do it alone. She's right there next to you, laughing out loud at the movies, doing the silly things in public. She's the one you buy those ridiculous little greeting cards for, not because she needs them to know how special she is to you, but because you know she'll appreciate the gesture.

Yeah, everyone needs a Stephanie in their life.

And then there is my son.....

Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up and nothing seems to be working like it should? One of those days where you just know you're going to be in a bad mood all day long? My day started out like that, black cloud and all.

And then there is my son........

I have just spent the last hour watching my son amuse himself with a few plastic dishes a dish cloth and a sink half full of soapy water. Suddenly, my day is a lot better. He splashed water everywhere, the whole kitchen is soaked, I may even have to rewash a few of the clean dishes. And you know what? I could care less. I smiled and I laughed with my son and watched him be amazed at the things he can do with a simple sink of water and some bubbles. It was, by far, the best part of my day!

Black cloud? What black cloud? All I can see now is my sons smiling face. It's a good thing.

Signature Fragrance

Apparently, as a woman, I'm supposed to have a "signature fragrance". Why? I mean who decides these things? Is there a group of men and women just sitting in some little room right now, thinking about all the things we are "supposed" to do in order to be complete, fulfilled human beings? How does my having a "signature fragrance" make me a better person? How does it improve the state of humanity? When I die, is it what I smelled like that I'm supposed to want people to remember?

I've made a list of the things, that according to magazines, television and radio, we are supposed to do in order to be the best human being we can be:

(1) Drink Milk, apparently, it does a body good. If you drink enough of it you will eventually look like Venus Williams, or if you're unlucky, Kermit the Frog. I didn't even know frogs liked milk.

(2) Drive a REALLY big vehicle. Something that you used to have a special license to drive. Am I the only one that thinks it's absurd to see women that can't even see over the steering wheel driving vehicles capable of climbing mountains? Scary.

(3) Wear clothing that looks like it was made for Barbie Dolls. Who ARE these women? I went into a store professing to sell clothing for the "plus size woman" I happen to be a plus size woman and I can tell you , these clothes were not designed with me in mind. It looked more like they took teeny, tiny t-shirt and stretched it out, like we used to get yelled at for doing when we were kids.

(4) Donate to all the "popular causes". From what I can tell, right now it's heart disease, cancer and disaster relief. Why do we need celebrities to tell us that these things need attention? And why is it only the causes that find celebrity support that get attention? Come on people, if it's serious, then take it seriously. If you can help, do it! Don't wait for someone to tell you it's chic to do it.

(5) Read whatever Oprah says we should. Now, while I think it's good that people are reading more, I find it sad that the multitudes of these people will only read it if Oprah says they should. We all see how THAT one turned out, don't we? ( And for the record, I didn't read " A Million Little Pieces " . I saw it in a store before the glowing Oprah review and thought it didn't sound very good.)

(6) Have things list "signature colors" and "signature fragrances". Apparently we are supposed to believe that by doing what everyone else is doing, we will somehow be unique. Okaaaayyy.....and the flaw in that logic is where? Anyone see it? Good, moving on.

(7) Strive to be so thin we can't stand up on our own. This should be accomplished by eating only protein, no wait, eating only carbs, no wait, avoiding carbs, no wait, drinking all your meals, no wait, surgery....no wait. Good grief, how about eating well, exercising a little and not throwing on the fast food feed bag? Anyone remember going outside to play as a child? how about we teach our children the same thing. Fresh air is GOOD for you!!! If you aren't a size one, who CARES???

(8) Use cosmetics that are not tested on animals. This is a good thing, but what they don't tell you is that for the statement on the back of the package to be true, only the FINAL PRODUCT need not be animal tested. It does NOT mean that the chemical compunds, and individual ingrediants weren't tested on animals. If you're serious about this one, do some checking....all you have to do is call the 1-800 number on the back of the package. If you ask, they have to tell you.


I'm sure that there are more that I have neglected, if you can think of any, please let me know.

I'm not as young as I think I am

Stephanie and I decided to go out again on Friday. This time we actually made a plan, and get this, for the most part, we stuck to it. Chalk one up for us!

Steph came out and picked me up around four on Friday and we stopped at Subway on the way back to Salt Lake and had a bit of dinner. Nothing exciting, but good conversation. When we got to Salt Lake, we went and did a little shopping then stopped at the dollar theater and bought tickets for two movies.....a 9:30 show and a Midnight show. Then we did a little more shopping.

While at the mall, we managed to give two teenage girls something to tell their friends about on school on Monday...." There were these two weird women in the bathroom at the mall...." Not that we were doing anything weird, but through the eyes of a teenager, two grown women laughing out loud and behaving like we don't KNOW we're two grown women....yeah, put that in the "stange" category.

We went and saw "The Ice harvest" starring John Cusack ( Can you say YUMMY?) and Billy Bob Thorton. It was a really good movie, a little slow in spots, but good all the same. I would have to say, that despite the fact I think John Cusack is a great actor, the best part of the movie was the character played by Oliver Platt. I recommend this movie, you should check it out.

After "The Ice Harvest", we went to see "Zathura". It's based on the book by Chris Van Allsburg. We were surprised by how good it was. Both Stephanie and I thought we would like it, a little, but we laughed most of the way through. Again, I think this is a good flick to see, even if you don't have children.

By the time "Zathura" was over it was two in the morning. We headed back to Tooele.....oh did I mention that when we got to Tooele, instead of going right home we stopped at Wal-Mart first? Yeah, Wal-Mart at three in the morning. You see, Stephanie had been bribed earlier in the evening to take me to South Towne mall so that I could get a couple of Mrs. Fields stuffed cookies.....YUM!!! ( cravings, you know I love them) So we stopped at Wal-Mart to fulfill the bribe..........New Movies!!! Stephanie is almost more of a movie junkie than I am, imagine that!

I finally got home around four thirty in the morning. I was just getting ready to go to bed when my son woke up, so mommy didn't actually get to sleep until shortly before seven on Saturday morning. This is where I discovered I am no longer as young as I think I am. I woke up later feeling like I had been on an all night drinking binge. Apparently when you are 35, pregnant and raising a toddler, staying out all night is not such a bright idea, who knew?

I'm afraid to say, that even with this knowledge Stepanie and I are likely to repeat this behavior, it seems to be in our nature.....ahh well, at least I'll be smiling with the bags under my eyes!!!

Later folks, I'm off to watch Bugs Bunny with my son!

The DUI Hotline??? No, seriously...

I went out tonight with Stephanie (more on that later) and we were out driving around, killing time between movies. We were grooving to some great tunes on the radio when all of a sudden a commercial comes on. Now I generally ignore commercials, they tend to be stupid and not worth the effort required to listen to them, but this commercial caught my attention.

"Did you know that in the State of Utah......" Blah, Blah, Blah...this guy is spouting facts about Utah DUI laws, then he starts in on how this law firm will help you beat a DUI charge. It was hideous! I was in shock. I mean come ON!!!!

DUI is one of the only crimes I can think of which is TOTALLY preventable. If you pick up an alcoholic beverage.....DON"T DRIVE!!!!! How hard is this concept for people to grasp. And I don't even want to hear the, " There was no other way to get home!" argument. When you go out, and you know you're going to be drinking, you make a plan.....to take a cab, to have a DD, to call a friend....something, but you DO NOT drink and drive.

As far as I'm concerned the only question the judge should ask is, "Did you know it was illegal to drink and drive?" And then the person should get sentenced. People say that one drink shouldn't be considered drinking and driving, but then where do you draw the line? Three drinks? Five drinks? People die needlesly every year because people who drink are to stupid, to stubborn or to proud to find another way home.

Adequate defense? Yes, I think people are always entitled to it. Getting people off for doing something they should have to take responsibility for? Inexcusable. It saddens me to think that this is where our society is standing. Do we really want to allow people to get off because they weren't "that drunk"? It makes me sick just thinking of the possibilities.

I dropped this law firm a message tonight, letting them know that I think their ad is tasteless. I would hope that anyone else who lives in the Salt Lake Valley area and hear's the ad will do the same.

All right, I'm done ranting now........

I Fart In Your General Direction......

As I was speaking with Judy this morning, she mentioned reading a review of Spamalot. This made me think of Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, and then I decided I had to look up the home page for Spamalot.


They have Killer Rabbit Slippers!!! I need a pair of killer rabbit slippers, I mean who doesn't! And I am sooooo ordering that pin! I suggest you all check out the site, shop a liitle! And for God's sake, if you have the ability to get tickets to see the show, run out and DO IT! Then email me and tell me all about it!

That's all for now, I'll be back tonight with tidbits and info on the night out with Steph!

Ahhh.....the day to day of living, don't we love it?

Well my dear readers, life strikes again. I got up this morning, intending to run to the bank and cash my paycheck, only to discover that I couldn't find it. You heard me, it has disappeared. My current thinking is that my son somehow got ahold of it and threw it away without us noticing.

Okay, I can get through that......I called and asked them to cancel said check and reissue me a new one.

But wait......

As I was walking down my hallway I noticed the smell of gas. Now, I didn't panic, mostly because I'm pregnant and have a SENSITIVE nose, but when Russ said he could smell it too? Well that's when I called Questar. They sent a very nice technician to my house and low and behold, my heater had not one, but three leaks......so he red tagged it, I now have no heat.

Then he goes outside and discovers that our water heater isn't rated for installation in trailer homes, so he red tags THAT!!!

Let's recap the day so far:

(1) lost paycheck
(2) no heater
(3) no water heater

My day just gets better and better, doesn't it. Ahh, but wait, there's more!!

Russ goes to get the mail and what should he find? A letter from the state of Utah. Seems his ex-wife has filed a complaint, she doesn't feel she's getting what she deserves. So now we have to get an attorney, go to court and defend ourselves against her wild accusations. Somedays I really dislike that woman.

You think that's it? Oh no dear readers, the day from hell is far from over. Not only do we have to deal with Russell's ex, we also have to deal with mine. Seems he thinks he can play fast and loose with custody and is setting up yet another attempt to take my daugher from me. Why? I have no idea.

*smiling* See, now I feel all better! It's so good to know I can talk to you!

On the brightside of life:

James and Judy will be here in ten days, and in twelve we get to take them to a doctor's appointment with us to see and hear the baby!!! This excites me and fills me with hope that not everyday is a bad one!!!

That and Stephanie and I have started working on a book for submission.......

So you see dear readers, not all is lost!!!

I'll keep you posted!

Things I Want To Do Before I Die

Note: This list is not in any particualr order, just how they popped into my deranged little mind! It started when I was 15.....and just didn't stop.

(1) Go-Go Dance, boots and all
(2) Learn to ballroom dance
(3) Visit China
(4) Go Sky Diving
(5) Meet Duran Duran ( okay, even at 35, this one still ranks right up there)
(6) See a Broadway Play, on Broadway!
(7) Publish at least one novel
(8) Visit Stonehenge
(9) Drive across the US with a video camera and visit all the tiny, out of the way places no one remembers.
(10) Have a waterfall in the living room ( Okay, don't even say it, it's my list)
(11) Finish my degree and get a job as a University teacher, tweed skirt and all (All Right, maybe not tweed, but you get the idea)
(12) Learn to tell people what I think of them, when I'm thinking it ( I've learned to do this, now I'm learning when I really should do it.....very tough)
(13) Learn to laugh out loud when I feel like it ( Another one I've since figured out how to do
(14) Wear a size 10 again ( I'm STILL working on this one, I have my doubts)
(15) Go to an expensive restaurant, order the cheapest thing on the menu and share it with a friend for hours, just because. Stay until they throw us out. ( I have to admit that I think this one would still be a hoot, an I bet I could get Stephanie to do it with me.)
(16) Get a job as a commentator with a televison station, just so I could stand on the red carpet and say what we're all thinking, " Who dresses you? And do you NOT own a mirror?"
(17) Speak in front of Congress just to tell them what I really think of the lot of them. ( I admit, this one is NEVER going to happen, but a girl can dream)
(18) Take my daughter to Europe when she graduates high school


I'll stop there, the list goes on for awhile, maybe I'll put some more of them up later.
Feel free to put some of the things you want to do before you die in the comments, it will be interesting to see.

The Long and the Short of It

My grandmother used to say that all the time. "Here's the long and the short of it." When I was a girl I never really understood what it meant, now I think it means," Here's the quick and ugly version."

Money has been tight for the last several months so as a family we decided that things like cable television and the internet were not actually necessary to our daily survival. Turns out we were right.

In August we found out that God does have a sense of humor after all. I started feeling sick all the time, so my first thought was, " Oh crap, I'm pregnant." Like a good little adult, I ran out to my local Wal-Mart, bought a pregnancy test and went home immediatly to pee on the oh so convienent stick. The test came back negative.

Breathing a sigh of relief I decide I have a stomach bug and decide to wait it out. Almost a month later I was still not feeling any better and I decide that I am dying of some horrid disease. So, once again playing the responsible adult, I make an appointment with my doctor. The draw blood, they have me pee in the cup.....and then *insert dramatic drum roll here* my doctor tells me I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!

My first response? " No, I'm not, I can't be." Anyway.....I'm pregnant, and fat and not happy about it....the fat part anyway.

We decided, again as a family, that we could not afford to have another child at this time, so we began looking into adoption. We found a wonderful couple in New York that will be adopting the baby. James and Judy. They are coming out here to Utah to meet us in February and will be back for the birth.

Other than that not much has been going on.....well except for my daughter living with her father and the whole red-neck cops moment that happened a couple of months ago on my front porch, but I'll save that for later.....

I don't want to overwhelm anyone.

A Funny thing happened on the way to my job interview....

So I'm sitting in the lobby of Teleperformance this morning waiting for my job interview to begin and I'm talking and laughing with Stephanie when who should come prancing through the door?? OH MY, it's Tasha!!! She had her chin stuck so high in the air that it was a wonder she coudl still breath. I had the hardest time not jumping up and shouting, " HEY TASHA!!!" Instead I sat and tried not to choke on my laughter as she so obviously ignored me and Stephanie on her way through the lobby.

It was a sight to behold, and it sure as hell made my day a little brighter. Nothing like having the ability to piss people off without even moving, huh????

A clean house is a happy house

My house smelled awful today, and the sad thing is I was the only one who seemed to notice. Something about my nose being hyper sensitive during pregnancy. Well that blows. So I went and bough trug cleaner and cleaned my carpets. And did the dishes. And made Russ help me clean the kitchen. And now things are all better. No more bad smell.

Yeah me!!! It's the little things in life that make me happy, you know?

Ahhh...the Internet, how I have missed it.

You know I never realized how often I was online until I no longer had internet access. I've missed being able to come in and post about the general bullshit that trips through my mind on a regular basis.

I have made a couple of changes to the blog because it seems that some people are IDIOTS and can't keep themselves from posting SPAM in the comments section. So to all my friends I apologize, your comments will no longer automatically appear, I will have to read them and then post them. I appreciate your patience.

I'll be posting a lot over the next week or so, trying to catch everyone up on what's been going on in my world.

See you soon!!!!

Yes, dear friends I am still alive.

I have access to a computer at the moment and I have a few minutes, so I thought I better sit down and let everyone know that despite my lack of activity in the last month or so, I am indeed still alive and well.

I have no computer at home right now * insert pouty face here* But I anticipate a return to the internet within the month.....* insert celebration noises here*

I look forward to catching up with everyone. If I don't see you before, have a wonderful Holiday season.

Love to everyone.

New Orleans

I was born in New Orleans. I spent the better part of my teenage years there. I still have friends and family living there. Over the last few days I've been watching the news, reading the reports coming out of the city and I'm saddened and horrified.

I haven't had news about anyone I care about, and it doesn't look like there will be a reliable way to reach any one for a long time to come. I can only hope that by some miracle news will filter out. I have two aunts living in the city, one whose family couldn't afford to leave and one whose family chose to stay. I worry about them and the situation they must be facing now.

I'm horrified by the news of looting and violence. I know that the situation for the people of New Orleans is bleak and scary, but it always makes me shudder when the base side of human nature rears it's ugly head. I can only hope that things will get better as quickly as possible so that the scenes we see on the evening news will begin to be a little more about the goodness of humankind, and less about the ugliness.

I encourage anyone that reads this to click on the link above, if you can help in anyway, please do. The people of New Orleans are living in Third World conditions and the state and local governments are coping as best they can, but they are overrun by the need. If you can offer help in any fashion, please do.

Let's all try to remember the people all along the Gulf Coast that have lost everything and maybe be a little nicer to the people we meet today, be a little more thankful for the things we have, even if they aren't everything we want. Say a little prayer, in whatever fashion you like, but remember the people that are suffering so close to home.

Having forgotten something Very Important, Alice sits down to think.....

Have you ever had one of those days when you think, " This is not the person I was going to be when I grew up." ? One of those days when you look in the mirror and you're greeted by the face of a person you don't actually recognize? Someone that looks vaguely like you, but somehow manages to come up more as a shadow?

I've been feeling like that more and more lately. The person in my mirror just isn't me. I'm not sure who she is, but she's not the the person I started out to be. The person I keep seeing everything I brush my hair or floss my teeth is beginning to look a little tired, and well, old.

I never wanted to be old. In fact I'm fairly certain that when I was about 16 I decided I wasn't going to get old. Of course, when I was 16 I also decided to dye my hair purple and swore I would never have children....I now have two...So maybe she isn't the best me to take advice from, you think?

Still, I have this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something Very Important. I've gotten so bogged down with dead end jobs, and bills to pay and smiling even when I don't want to , that I've forgotten something I'm sure I should be able to remember. I'm beginning to feel like Alice just tumbling through the looking glass, " Curiouser and Curiouser....."