I feel all kinds of Special! I've been tagged. Okay, so I asked to be tagged, but still....
Ian sent me 5 "interview" questions. I'm going to post them here, answer them and then post the rules for the meme right behind them. If you want to play along, just let me know.
1. Your son has already showed a preference for cheese on unusual dishes - for example, strawberry pancakes. What things do you put cheese on which other people might consider odd?
I don't really put cheese on anything weird. I'm kind of boring when it comes to food, which is why my son's odd food choices make me do the Spock eyebrow thing. I do like peanut butter on my pancakes though...does that count?
2. Discuss at length the reason why Utah bothers with speed limits on the Interstate.
What? Is this a test? I don't even have a driver's license. (Yes, that's true). About all I know about Utah and the Rules of the Road is that the Governor is considering reverting to the 1970's by lowering the speed limit to 55 again, instead of getting with the times and raising it, like a lot of states have done. Oh, and I know that it's a myth that there isn't a speed limit on the Interstate in Montana. There is one. It's 75 in the daytime and 65 at night. All along the Interstate you see billboards that say stuff like, "Yes Mario, there is a speed limit." Here ends my knowledge of Utah and it's driving laws.
3. Ever been to the beach? If so, share a beach story with us. If not, make one up.
Sex on the beach is not as romantic as it looks. Have you ever seen those love scenes in the movies? They're on the beach, the sun is setting, the waves are crashing, she's lying casually on top of him...everything is perfect.
Sex on the beach is nothing like that. I know..I tried it. Oh, it starts out like that. You lay the blanket down and you get all comfortable. You lay there talking and listening to the water. The sun starts to go down and you're kissing...and then you realize that it's getting cold. You ignore that because it's romantic, dammit.
You continue snuggling and things start to get a little more intense. You're still trying not to think about the fact that it's freaking cold out and now there are mosquitoes. Shit! Were those voices? You both stop and hold your breath, you're rolled up in the blanket now and you're trying not to shiver. You wait for a moment and realize it was the wind, and not voices.
You try to get back into the mood, but it's just clumsy now. You're determined to finish it though...so you eventually forget that where you are. You get into things again. His hands on your skin, his breath in your ear.
He rolls you over and suddenly your naked. The blanket feels warm and slightly scratchy against your skin. "This is how it's supposed to be," you think. Then you feel it...the sand. It's everywhere. It's in every crack and crevice of your body. You close you're eyes and hope it will be over soon.
As soon as it's over you pull your swimsuit back on and run down to the water. You mistakenly believe that you can wash the sand off...but no, what you don't know is that you will be finding sand for days.
No, having sex on the beach is nothing like it looks in the movies. Bastards.
4. Finish this sentence and explain why you picked what you did: "This one time, in band camp, I..."
This one time, in band camp, I...I'm drawing a blank. Everything I start to write that begins with that phrase is hopelessly filthy and unfit to print here. This is NOT that kind of blog. It could be that kind of blog, but I'd have to change the banner and several of the fonts and there would be a few people that come here who would be shocked.
5. Which describes you better? "Tastes great" or "Less filling"?
This is an easy one. I am a "Tastes Great" woman all the way. The whole low fat, low carb, low taste craze is a crime against nature. Food should taste good. Food is meant to be enjoyed.
Chocolate should melt in your mouth and when your eating it.
There should be no such thing as a fat free, sugar free brownie.
Houses should smell of fresh baked bread at least once a month.
Everyone should own at least one recipe for homemade macaroni and cheese, the kind with heavy cream in it.
You should be able to sit in the sun with your eyes shut and enjoy an ice cream cone, just like you did when you were a child.
You will never find me on the Atkin's Diet, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or any of the other starve yourself options that permeate our culture. I will never be anything below a size twelve. I am definitely a "Tastes Great" kind of person.
DIRECTIONS FOR THE INTERVIEW MEME
1. Leave a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions (if I don't have your email address, you can email me instead). I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.