Wow....it turns out the IT department here isn't any good at their jobs either. There is actually one whole computer missing..I mean they left the MONITOR, but sheesh. It looks good sitting on the desk though.

So yeah, now I get to be bored learing about the software I'm going to learn, which I'm sure will take all of about ten minutes and we will spend the next six days discussing...YAY!!! This is so much fun! I'm so glad I got up early for this.

Later boys and girls


The reasons why.....

This is my second post tonight and it's something I promised to put up last week, and then never had a chance to do.

The following is the list of reasons Stephanie is my sons god mother.

(1) Cares more for others than for self, would be likely to help instill that value in Jareth

(2) Is open minded and non-judgemental.

(3) Will be able to help Jareth continue on a path of solid spiritual growth, providing him with guidance and allowing him to question when he needs to.

(4) Understands the importance of being true to your word and the importance of standing by your own moral values, even when others may ridicule you for them. (This one was VERY important)

(5) Has a strong sense of family, that I believe she will help pass on to my son, making him feel loved and valued.

These were the five reasons I chose you to be Jareth's godmother, Steph. Other friends have some of these things, other friends have different qualities. But these are the five things I think you will give my son, adding value to his life, enriching it and making it better.

An open letter to.....

Okay class, pay careful attention to what I am about to say:

It is NEVER okay to treat people like they are expendable.

It is NEVER okay to use someone until YOU feel they have no further value for you and then toss them off like old Kleenex.

It is NEVER okay to engage in gossip mongoring, rumour spreading or embellishments of the truth to make yourself look like LESS of an asshole.

These things were not okay when we WERE children, they certainly aren't okay now.

Now, to be more specific, yes, this post is directed at someone ....well more than one someone actually....

In the last little while, I have been reminded why I do not have a wide circle of "friends". People dislike it when you decline to be the simpering sycophant they are looking for, and they tend to tell people things like you're a bitch , or just out right crazy.

I can handle this when it is directed at myself. I could honestly care less what the tiny little minds of people like these, the people that feel the need to degrade, demean or otherwise mistreat other people in order to make themselves feel big and important, think. However, I do take offense when this maliciousness is targeted at my friends. Particularly when the friend in question has never been anything but kind, open and friendly. You ahould be grateful for people like her.

People like you....and by now, I'm sure anyone reading this knows who I am talking about.....People like you are throwbacks to a time before we all learned what it meant to treat others with common human decency, to not backstab, lie or otherwise engage in what is generally considered bad behavior in a five year old child.

People like you make me naseous. You are what is wrong with the world today. You cower behind your lies and your bullshit and you bluster and banter and puff out your chests with self created, self deluded bravado, and underneath it all, you are nothing more than a social bully...and worse, you are cowards, to scared of taking it like an adult to actually admit that you have treated someone callously or in bad taste.

I do not think, not for one minute, that you will change simply because I have said these things. Sadly, in this world, there is no shortage of people who will crave your attention and allow you to behave badly for the rest of your life. There are always going to be people just like you, that will smile and be kind to your face, and then tear you apart as soon as your back is turned.

I feel sorry for you, because you will never know what it means to actually have a real friend.

You are pathetic and not worth the time it took to write this, but the anger I was feeling at how you have treated her has been sitting and festering like a poison. So now I have said my piece...no one got into a fist fight, no one is bloody, I feel better and now.....

You are nothing.


Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Frank Posted by Hello

Have you seen Donnie Darko yet? If you haven't you should...and if you have, click the link above and go play around on the website...it is seriously fucked up! Fun for all!!!

Just a little something to think about

"Think as I think," said a man,
"Or you are abominably wicked;
You are a toad."

And after I had thought of it,
I said, "I will, then, be a toad."

- Stephen Crane

That's all I have to say right now. And just so everyone that reads this knows.........I am a toad!!

(Check out the link, The Poetry Connection is a great online resource for poetry.)


My Gay Boyfriend

Josh....need I say more? Posted by Hello

I've been meaning to tell everyone about Josh for a while now...and since I have pictures, well it seemed like the perfect time to do it!!

Josh is my gay boyfriend. We talk about everything. I'm going to go to Pride with him in June!! I love him, what can I say? He's a sweetheart, he cares about people and he has a good soul!! If only there were more men on the planet like Josh!!

I love you hun!!! Thanks for being my friend!


Still Making My Heart Beat Faster! Posted by Hello

Okay, so I've added pictures to my blog....how sweet is this? Now I can post pictures of all the cool things....Oh wait....first I have to get some cool things in my life, don't I??

Okay, well in the meantime, just enjoy the eye candy...I'll post more at random....so check back to see who's the next Yummy post.


What friends mean to me....

What exactly is a friend? How do you define a friend? Websters defines friends as:

1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)4 : a favored companion 5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war -- called also Quaker

Now.... the first definition is good....but that's not how I think of friends....more closely resembling my definition of a true friend is this:

"You must therefore love me, myself, and not my circumstances, if we are to be real friends. ".... Cicero

Friends are people that know you at your worst moments ..... and are still there the next day. Not the sycophantic groupies so many people seem to want to surround themselves with......and you know who you are, don't you?

What is the purpose of having people around you that will only constantly telling you how wonderful you are? I want people in my life that will tell me the truth ...and that will except the truth from me.

I have a friend like that right now, someone I almost lost a few weeks ago because I was afraid to tell her the truth about how I felt...I'm glad I choose to trust her enough to speak up....she was upset with me, but she listened, told me when she thought I was out of line and we made our friendship stronger.

She is a wonderful person and I find myself thinking how lucky I am to have met her, to have the opportunity to have her in my life......Just to let you know Stephanie....

This one is for you!!!

Neal McDonough is a NICE MAN!! ( and he's HOT)

Okay...this is a continuation of the whole concert going experience......if you don't know who Neal McDonough is, check out the IMDB link I put in the title of the post.....he's a phenomanal actor and, as it turns out, a very nice man.....and did I mention HOT!!! His eyes...oh lord *fans self*

So the concert is over and I'm sitting there talking to some of the women I met...and there he is, just standing there, next to the security gate....and he's smiling and he's chatting with people....and I do something TOTALLY out of character for me, I ask for an autograph.

He smiles and says "Sure" then he asks for my name, signs my notebook....and hands it back to me. And then he talks to me for a minute or so......I was so impressed with how nice he was.

And did I mention HOT...oh so incredibly HOT.......WOW!!!

So check out the list of things this man has done....and if you have never seen him act, rent something or check out Medical Investigations on Fridays...it kicks ASS....

Okay...so I'm all good now, ranting is all done........

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

All I can say is OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! That concert ROCKED!! I can die a happy woman now.....I have seen my idols and it was GOOD!!

So I'm sitting in my seat and there are woman all around...my age, some younger, but most my age and we get to talking about how Duran Duran effected us as teens and how obsessed we were with them...and I find out I'm not the only one that thought that these guys were IT. There was one lady that had made posters with old pictures from Tiger Beat, Bop...magazines like that...and it took me back, made me feel sixteen again.

Then two women sat down at the end of my row...one of them had the symbol from Seven and the Ragged Tiger on her face...she and her friend met in Jr. High, and are still friends...they had a love for Duran Duran in common...reminded me of Katina, Dee-Dee and Lylah.

I miss them....

As we were waiting for the opening act to start, people are coming down the stairs heading to their seats on the floor. So I'm watching people, cause that's what I do...and I see this guy walk by, and he looks awfully damn familiar...and then it hits me, Neal McDonough.....the guy from Medical Investigations on NBC..Holy Shit!!! More about this later.

So we all sat patiently through the opening act, a band called Iama Robot...they were pretty good, sort of a mix between Echo and the Bunnymen and TheCure.....I'd listen to them again, given the chance.

And then.......

The music started to beat and the smoke started to flow and OH MY GOD!!!! There they were. I swear to god, I started crying the minute they walked out onto the stage.....I felt like I was 16 again.....

They sound as good now as they did in the eighties......better really. And I was there....twenty feet from the stage!!! If I had been at the end of the row, I could have touched them....it was the best seat I've ever had for a concert.

They all came out wearing suits....and they stood on the end of the stage for a minute..the crowd went NUTS. Then they walked to their places and started playing (Reach Out For ) The Sunrise, the first cut they released from Astronaut.

The microphone pack on Simons back came loose and a technician had to come out on the stage and refix it....and Simon says,"Excuse me while this man fiddles with my ass." Laughter from everywhere. The tech gets him set and the show continues.....they play a couple from Astronaut....then they go into the older stuff....they played Hold Back the Rain...and you have to be a diehard fan to know that one....

Then after a very energetic beginning, they slow it down and play Tiger,Tiger...the instrumental from Seven and the Ragged Tiger....Wow...does that song kick ass live!! Then Simon comes out in a new outfit....Chauffer hat and all......God I love that song......

By this point I'm screaming and crying and just generally acting like I'm a teenager again......I mean I still can't believe where I am and who I'm seeing...it's like a dream...and yes, you can make fun of me for that if you want.....but it's the truth.

During my teen years, things were dark and ugly most of the time.....and the thing I clung to, the thing that pulled me through so many of those nights, was this music. So many times I thought I had reached the edge...and I would plug in my earphones and out would come Simon's voice and the music behind him and the edge would move a little farther back. They saved my life...literally.

Okay...so back to the concert......

So I'm standing there, jamming out...screaming like a teenage girl and John Taylor wanders out onto the platform next to us, and the house lights are up so they can see us....I holler and I smile and I point at him .....AND HE SMILES BACK....then he waves and nods...AT ME!!!! There was eye contact and everything....so now I have a John Taylor moment....OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!!

They played Careless Memories....and on the big screen is playing this Manga Cartoon......the guys kickin ass and taking names.......I want that video!!!

Okay...so they finish the set...they leave the stage and of course we want an encore....five minutes go by and then they come back on stage...

Now usually a band will do one, maybe two songs....not these guys...we got five more songs....and during Girls on Film, they brought the house lights up again so Simon could introduce the band...."Play the Fucking Bass John"!!!!!

Last song done....house lights up...show over....their taking their bows, saying good night and they come back over to our side of the stage.....I'm helping the girls next to me hold up a banner that says "Thank U" on it....and Simon and John smile at us.......and give the thumbs up sign...then John nudges Nick and points us out...and Nick smiles....OH MY GOD!!!! Was that for REAL??? It was amazing..I'm on a high now that won't end for days.......

I'm so glad I went to this show......it was eighty bucks well spent!!


Duran Duran

What can I say...it's been twenty some years and I still love this band!!! I'm finally going to get the chance to see them live tonight and all that keeps going through my mind is OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! DURAN DURAN!!

When I was a teenager and the whole world seemed like crap, and it was dark and ugly all of the time, I always had their music to keep me grounded and alive....to keep me sane. I know that doesn't make any sense to most of the people that will read this, but I don't really care.

So, yeah....OH MY GOD!!!! DURAN DURAN!!!!

I will be back later tonight to tell you all about it!


Peter Pan or not to Peter Pan??

I hve to admit....at first this freaked me out a little, but then I started thinking about it and how much courage does it take to just be yourself in today's world? Even if you know people will decide to look down on you or make fun of you for it.

So I say BRAVO to Peter Pan....have fun man!!

Love vs Obsession

Talking to a friend today and we got on the subject of unconditional love vs. lust/obsession. He had a pretty damn good definition of the two things:

lust/obsession = something or someone you are attracted to, to the point that you paint a fake picture over the face of him/her/it. you believe them to be flawless, perfect, and can do no wrong. you ignore their flaws

unconditional love = you recognize this person for who they are, and understand that they do have flaws and inperfectness. however, you love this person regardless of their flaws, or "conditions." it doesn't matter if they mess up, or if they do good, you love them regardless.

That's a pretty damn good idea of what it should be about...why can't people accept the unconditional love though? Obsession and lust seem to be the norm, but love, actual, honest love for another human being is regarded as a weakness, something you are supposed to hide or be ashamed of.

People are inundated by the social idea that love has to be fiery, passionate, hot.....all the time.....that it should be something out of a movie. Romance novel sweet. Hallmark moments in impossible shades of sunset.....no one seems to understand that love, real, abiding, lasting love is more of a slow burn.

Why is it so hard to let someone accept you, flaws and all? Why does it seem like people want to be tread upon, put down and used? What the hell is up with that?


This is dedicated to a friend of mine...not for it's content, but for the meaning only she will understand.....


walking and talking
thinking you have something important to say
nobody is really listening

sitting in the hallways
leaning on the walls
whispering the secrets you think you have
nobody is really listening

giggling and batting eyelashes
snickering at people
behind their backs
nobody is really listening

Nobody actually cares what you have to say
Nobody thinks you're funny
Nobody wants to hear your vicious bitching


Ranting because I can...its my site dammit!!!!

Recently I was reminded that most people are incapable of true friendship. They take the people that come into and out of their lives for granted, using them up and discarding them like tissue.

It's like their parents never took the time to teach them that people are not commoditites placed on the planet for their own personal use and pleasure. No one ever took the time to stop and tell them that they do not have the right to go through life casually violating the trust and respect of others.

My favorite thing about people like this is the fact that they always try to disguise their sorry behavior and lack of conscience as being "truthful". I doubt they would know the truth if it jumped up and bit them in their collective asses.

These are the people that become game show hosts, car salesmen, those tacky little women at the mall with fake smiles and perfume samples.....these are the people that have no idea what it means to have morals, or values, or to have honor...any kind of honor. The value of their worth is approximatly spit.

The truly sad thing here is that these people know exactly who they are and they just simply don't care....they cause pain in people's lives and when someone calls them on it, they have the nerve to look surprised and to act offended.

I have one question for these people:
Who the hell do you think you are? Do you really believe that you have more value than the rest of us? Because let me assure you, you don't. In the scheme of things, you're value is actually very little...miniscule in fact.

So you tell yourselves what ever you have to to sleep at night..I sleep at night knowing that I am true to my word, true to my friends...that I don't need to lie, backstab or brag to make myself feel better about who I am.

I have a sense of self worth...what do you have?