Explain to me where the confusion is

Apparently, airline workers in Chicago say they have seen a UFO. Now it's a news story. How does this continue to be newsworthy?

UFO literally means "Unidentified Flying Object". Seems simple enough to me. You see something flying, you can't indentify it, this makes it a UFO. It doesn't mean that it came from outer space filled with little green men dying to impregnate our women and take over the planet. ET has not landed. Martians are not about to eat your livestock.

If people want me to believe that they saw something that could not possibly have come from this planet, which I believe could be possible, then they need to come up with a different name for it. As it stands, whenever I hear someone say, "I saw a UFO." all I think is, "Well join the club, you wouldn't believe how many things I've seen miles above the earth and thought, 'Well what the hell is that?"

( Moving off to a HUGE side tangent: Would someone please look up the proper use of "a" and "an" in front of words and make sure that UFO isn't one of those weird exceptions to the rule about usage in front of words beginning with a vowel? "An UFO" just sounds weird and wrong and makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but all my reference books are currently packed for the move....Thanks!!!!)


Bewildering Conversations with a Teenage Girl

This is the first installment in what I am sure will become a regular feature here at The Dead Letters. ( I'm borrowing this idea from Ken Jennings, who is often bewildered by his three year old...) This is a conversation I had with my thirteen year old last night:

"Mom, can I go over to Tasha's to wish her family a Happy New Year?"
"Yes, just don't be gone to long."

Three minutes later:

"Mom, can I stay over at Tasha's for about an hour or so?"
"Are her parents there? Will there be adult supervision?"
"I don't know I didn't see them, we were outside, I'll go check."

Three MORE minutes later:

"Her parents are drinking at a friends and getting ready to go to the bar, but there will be adult supervison."
"Who is there that will be supervising?"
"Tasha's brother and his friend."
(at this point my husband is sitting bolt upright on the couch, frowning.)
"And how old is her brother?"
"No. Two teenage boys does not qualify as adult supervision."

Frowning from the teenager, "But..."

"Your mother said no. You are not going to go spend a hour or longer in a house with two fifteen year old boys. It's not going to happen, get over it."

More frowning.


Door slamming......Fifteen minutes later:

"Russell go and get her and make her come home."

My husband goes outside and returns with the sullen teenager who promptly goes to her room, no doubt to write in her journal about how her parents "just don't get it." I wait ten minutes and go in to talk with her so she will understand why we said no."

" I know your upset because we wouldn't let you go to Tasha's, but your getting to that age where certain situations can be dangerous."

Raised eyebrow. "Like what?"
"Like being alone in a house with two fifteen year old boys."
"Well, as you get older (this conversation gets more uncomfortable by the second)... As you get older, boys start to see you differently."

Shake of the head, "Whatever." Long drawn out sigh." But mom, they have kittens over there."

At this point I laugh because I can't help myself and I stand up to leave the room.
"Well, it's nice that they have kittens, maybe you can go see them tomorrow afternoon."

I exit the room feeling confused and somehow relieved. My thirteen year old daughter wasn't irritated with me because I wouldn't let her hang out with her friend and the older brother, she was irritated because there were kittens she wanted to play with and I interfered.

It would appear I have been spared the horror of boys at least for now.