8.26.2005

Having forgotten something Very Important, Alice sits down to think.....

Have you ever had one of those days when you think, " This is not the person I was going to be when I grew up." ? One of those days when you look in the mirror and you're greeted by the face of a person you don't actually recognize? Someone that looks vaguely like you, but somehow manages to come up more as a shadow?

I've been feeling like that more and more lately. The person in my mirror just isn't me. I'm not sure who she is, but she's not the the person I started out to be. The person I keep seeing everything I brush my hair or floss my teeth is beginning to look a little tired, and well, old.

I never wanted to be old. In fact I'm fairly certain that when I was about 16 I decided I wasn't going to get old. Of course, when I was 16 I also decided to dye my hair purple and swore I would never have children....I now have two...So maybe she isn't the best me to take advice from, you think?

Still, I have this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something Very Important. I've gotten so bogged down with dead end jobs, and bills to pay and smiling even when I don't want to , that I've forgotten something I'm sure I should be able to remember. I'm beginning to feel like Alice just tumbling through the looking glass, " Curiouser and Curiouser....."

1 comment:

knightjorge said...

Here's the thing....

We all get old even though we don't want to. I've come to accept that idea, sort of. I'm not happy about it though.

You don't look old by any means so stop talking that way. And I don't think that anyone is satisfied with their life no matter what their life is like. There is always something that they feel they can improve on. I know that I definitely feel that way most of the time.

Just remember that those of us that love you, and there are many I'm sure, love you just the way you are and think there is no need for perfection in this crazy world.

Call me, write me, don't withdraw into yourself like you do, especially with me. It pisses me off and makes me want to drive over there and drag you out of the house for some fun!

Love you!