Signature Fragrance

Apparently, as a woman, I'm supposed to have a "signature fragrance". Why? I mean who decides these things? Is there a group of men and women just sitting in some little room right now, thinking about all the things we are "supposed" to do in order to be complete, fulfilled human beings? How does my having a "signature fragrance" make me a better person? How does it improve the state of humanity? When I die, is it what I smelled like that I'm supposed to want people to remember?

I've made a list of the things, that according to magazines, television and radio, we are supposed to do in order to be the best human being we can be:

(1) Drink Milk, apparently, it does a body good. If you drink enough of it you will eventually look like Venus Williams, or if you're unlucky, Kermit the Frog. I didn't even know frogs liked milk.

(2) Drive a REALLY big vehicle. Something that you used to have a special license to drive. Am I the only one that thinks it's absurd to see women that can't even see over the steering wheel driving vehicles capable of climbing mountains? Scary.

(3) Wear clothing that looks like it was made for Barbie Dolls. Who ARE these women? I went into a store professing to sell clothing for the "plus size woman" I happen to be a plus size woman and I can tell you , these clothes were not designed with me in mind. It looked more like they took teeny, tiny t-shirt and stretched it out, like we used to get yelled at for doing when we were kids.

(4) Donate to all the "popular causes". From what I can tell, right now it's heart disease, cancer and disaster relief. Why do we need celebrities to tell us that these things need attention? And why is it only the causes that find celebrity support that get attention? Come on people, if it's serious, then take it seriously. If you can help, do it! Don't wait for someone to tell you it's chic to do it.

(5) Read whatever Oprah says we should. Now, while I think it's good that people are reading more, I find it sad that the multitudes of these people will only read it if Oprah says they should. We all see how THAT one turned out, don't we? ( And for the record, I didn't read " A Million Little Pieces " . I saw it in a store before the glowing Oprah review and thought it didn't sound very good.)

(6) Have things list "signature colors" and "signature fragrances". Apparently we are supposed to believe that by doing what everyone else is doing, we will somehow be unique. Okaaaayyy.....and the flaw in that logic is where? Anyone see it? Good, moving on.

(7) Strive to be so thin we can't stand up on our own. This should be accomplished by eating only protein, no wait, eating only carbs, no wait, avoiding carbs, no wait, drinking all your meals, no wait, surgery....no wait. Good grief, how about eating well, exercising a little and not throwing on the fast food feed bag? Anyone remember going outside to play as a child? how about we teach our children the same thing. Fresh air is GOOD for you!!! If you aren't a size one, who CARES???

(8) Use cosmetics that are not tested on animals. This is a good thing, but what they don't tell you is that for the statement on the back of the package to be true, only the FINAL PRODUCT need not be animal tested. It does NOT mean that the chemical compunds, and individual ingrediants weren't tested on animals. If you're serious about this one, do some checking....all you have to do is call the 1-800 number on the back of the package. If you ask, they have to tell you.


I'm sure that there are more that I have neglected, if you can think of any, please let me know.