The Museum of Bad Art

A few days ago I was browsing around and came across an article about the ten weirdest museums in America. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm into weird. Weird is good. It keeps things from being boring, breaks the day up a bit. I read the list and my favorite turned out to be The Museum of Bad Art.

The Museum of Bad Art is in Dedham, Mass. and was founded in 1993. The collection is made up of things you would find on back shelves of thrift shops and pieces that would clutter up yard sales, desperately trying to find homes.

A couple of my favorite pieces? Peter the Kitty, How pissed off does that cat look? And Mama and Babe, Does that picture remind anyone else of "The Outer Limits"?

Take some time and browse the website. Of particular interest is the admission price and the location description. I plan to take a vacation to the East Coast specifically to take my daughter to this place. Better than the Giant Ball of Twine!

Iraq and its toll

The toll of the Iraq war on our country is going to be a lot higher than many of us ever really considered. Today a report is being cited in the news that states US Marines killed Iraqi civilians in cold blood. Our soldiers, men and women that were sent by our government to a country that didn't ask for our prescence, are now being accused of crimes so atrocious I have a hard time wrapping my mind around them.

What had to happen to these men that would cause them to do something so wicked? In their daily lives, in the normal world I'm sure that the men and/or women being accused of this crime are not sociopathic killers. Yet here they are, standing accused of slaughtering innocent civilians, women and children. Why?

I have to believe it is because they have been kept in a place we had no right to be to begin with for far to long. These brave and valiant soldiers have been sent into a terror zone and subjected to things I can't even begin to imagine. The damage to their minds and their souls must be horrific. I feel sorrow for them and their families and I feel shame for my government for allowing this to continue.

If you are reading this, sit down and write to your Congressman. Write to all of them if you can. Let them know that this has gone on long enough. It's time to bring our soldiers home. It's time to stop this before anymore of OUR people suffer, not to mention the harm we are doing to a country not our own.

The Stepford Wives...living right next door. Hitler would be so proud.

I have just read an article about Home Owners Associations in our country. They are set up under the guise of keeping neighborhoods clean and uniform...providing a positive living experience for everyone that lives there. You know, no rusting cars in the front yard, no rotting piles of garbage, that kind of thing. Sounds nice doesn't it?

But wait....

As I read on it turns out that these "associations" can fine you for things like painting your house an unapproved color, or not cutting your lawn enough. And that if you don't pay the fines you can actually be, get this, FORCLOSED ON. Now how is that even possible? I mean seiously people? What kind of acid are you taking the day you agree to give John Q Dimplehead across the street the power to tell you it's not okay to paint your house THAT color blue? And to risk losing the home YOU are paying for over it? How does that even begin to sound like a good idea?

Ahhh...the American Home Owners Association. Stepford Families of the world now have a place to call there own. Somewhere they can all gather and homogenize and teach their children that diversity is a word somewhere in the "d" section of the dictionary.

Hitler would be so proud.

Apparently Ken Jennings isn't boring...who knew?

Sadly, I have had nothing of interest to say for the last several days. This annoys me. Am I losing my touch? Am I getting old? Have I forgotten how to be a wise ass? No, I just haven't had the time to sit down and write anything.

Let's recount the last several days of my life shall we? On second thought, screw that. I just lived through it, it would bore you to tears, let's talk about something else. Let's talk about...ummm...Ken Jennings. You heard me.

I was reading the news, something I do a lot, and there was an article from the AP that claimed Ken Jennings was hatin' on good ole' Jeopardy. Can you believe it? I mean how dare he? After all Jeopardy did for him? How could he hate on them and an American icon like Alex Trebek. I have to admit, I was curious. So I went to my trusty search engine and typed in "Ken Jennings". The first link that came up was the link to his blog.

I was intrigued, what could a man who had so much useless trivia rattling around in his brain that he won 2.5 million dollars on Jeopardy have to say that would be interesting to me, the general public? I clicked on, eager to see.

I started reading the first post, which by this time had nothing to do with Jeopardy, and found myself giggling and smiling and nodding in appreciation of things that Ken had typed. "Why," I thought incredulously, " Ken Jennings isn't stodgy or boring. Ken Jennings is amusing and intelligent and darn it, I kind of like him." Who knew?

I am proud to say that I know read Ken Jennings blog on a daily basis. I am also proud to report that anyone with a brain will be able to go there, look up the blog post in question and know in about three sentences that he wasn't diggin' on an American Icon. Go on, read it, I dare you!

Lady in the Water

We went and saw "Lady in the Water" last night. I enjoy M. Night Shyamalan's movies. I was a little disappointed by "The Village", but still enjoyed it. After reading some of the reviews, I was curious. Would this movie disappoint me as well?

I can say with total confidence that it didn't. Shyamalan delivers a wonderful tale of good and evil without having to be grotesque or overlly political. It's a movie that you can take your children to see. Something that is a rare find these days. Shyamalan didn't feel the need to add the witty adult humor to the movie to try and make it more appealing. There are no sly inneuendos, no catty remarks, just a good story. Something you might read to your older children at bedtime.

A lot of the reviews I read said that there was no "twist", something Shyamalan has become known for. I have to disagree. If you take the time to see the film, you'll find the twist.

I recommend everyone go and see this movie, take tissue if you cry, but go see it.

Whoever made this quiz is LAME!

I answered all these questions correctly, I know I answered them correctly because when I got my score I was confused, went back and for the hell of it, changed things to answeres I knew weren't right....it won't score you above 90%....unless I'm blind and missed a question...which has been known to happen.

I'm still pissed.

You Scored 90% Correct

You are an 80s expert You never confuse New Order with the Pet Shop Boys You know which classical musician Falco rocked When it comes to 80s music, you Just Can't Get Enough!

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

Okay, so now I'm just bored....

Pulled this off of Stephanie's blog. I'm bored and I can't sleep, figured I'd answer pointless questions, then maybe make some phone calls....

A - Available: For Birthday Parties, Weddings and the ocassional Bar Mitzvah.
A - Age: older than some, not as old as others
A - Annoyance: Stupidity...of all kinds.


B - Bestest Friend: Stephanie
B - Bad Habit: Which one?
B - Birthday: December 23

C - Crush: Orange, Grape or Strawberry????
C - Car: none
C - Cats: no thanks

D - Dead Pets: five dogs, two cats, three goldfish, two rabbits and one poor poor hamster
D - Desk Top Picture: A Scanner Darkly still of Keanu
D - Dogs: One...and he's really cute


E - Easiest person to talk to: Stephanie, Dollie or Russ
E - Eggs: Only scrambled
E - Email: As a casual form of correspondance only


F - Favorite color: Purple
F - Food: I'm partial to it.
F - Favorite number: People have those? Isn't that kind of obsessive?


G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms...more fun to play with. But then...bears are easier to hide in your pockets
G - God: Has a serious sense of humour
G - Good Times: A great show from the 70's


H - Hair Color: Dark brown...or black, depending
H - Height: 5'5"
H - Happy: Today? Yes


I - Ice Cream: Vanilla, ocassionally something more adventerous.
I - In school?: Soon
I - Idiots?:You're kidding right? Have you been outside?


J - Jewelry: No thanks
J - Jobs: At last count, well over 100
J - Jokes: Most of the ones I know are to long to put in this little space.

K - Kids: Four...two living with me, two adopted
K - Karate: That and about five other Chinese words..yeah, I've seen the T-Shirt too.
K - Know a Katie: Not personally....


L - Longest Car Ride: From Williston, North Dakota to Lake Powell, Utah...When I was nine...in the summer...with no air conditioner...and two toddlers....and an angry mother.
L - Last phone call: From Stephanie
L - Love: Can be a serious pain in the ass.

M - Milk Flavor: Plain
M - Movie Last Watched: NightWatch
M - Moms name: Jorjan

N - Number of Siblings: 5
N - Northern or Southern?: Is this a hemisphere choice, a cultural choice, what?
N - Name: Serena


O - One Phobia: Driving
O - Open About yourself?: Yes
O - Occupation: Manager...Cricket Wireless

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: Biological parents:Divorced Mother and Stepfather: Married
P - Party: Not any more
P - Police: Once or twice...you figure it out


Q - Quote: "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." Roslind Russell, Auntie Mame
Q - Quick or Slow: All I can hear now is that song from "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"
Q - Que pasa: Cheddar, oh wait, that's QUESO....


R - Reality TV Shows: Funny as hell, if you watch the right ones
R - Right or Left: Depends on the issue.
R - Right now: Answering these silly questions that no one will ever read.


S - Song Last Heard: Night on Bald Mountain
S - Season: Late Spring or Early Fall
s - Sex: Because of the boobs, I'm going to go with Female.


T - Time to get up: Ask my son, it's usually his call.
T - Time Now: 11:58 PM
T - Time for bed: When I can't keep my eyes open

U - Unicorns: Make for good fiction and great art
U - Unicycle: not my cup of tea
U - Unibrow: Oh, that's just nasty

V - Vending Machine: Home of the hip widner and the gut bomb
V - Visual basic: Never learned it
V - Victory: Q'Pla (only a real geek will be able to read that and tell me what's wrong with it)


W - Water: I need more of it
W - Women: usually dislike me
W - Work: Only because I have to, anyone who says anything else is a LIAR...


X - X-Rays: Will turn you into a raging green monster..oh wait, that was GAMMA RAYS
X - X Files: YUMMY, David Duchovney
X - X Men: Until the last one, pretty damn good...


Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: Wallpaper (obscure literary reference)
Y - Yikes: I'm really really bored


Z - Zoo Animal: I detest zoos
Z - Zerox: streching for it now aren't you..I would have gone with zipper
Z - Zanzibar: Would be nice to visit

I HAVE to stop doing those stupid quizzes!!!!

Okay, this is kind of funny....mostly because the last few names I used I just threw in there.....although the soulmate thing is kind of scary!

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Stephanie is your soulmate.

You truly love Russell.

You consider Alexandria your true friend.

You know that Judy is always thinking of you.

You'll remember James for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Dollie is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Tiffany is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Toney is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Toney changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Debby is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Debby has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

Is anyone that knows me REALLY surprised by this?

You are 70% geek

You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough. Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Read this....

So I'm at work today and Debby sends me the link to this aritcle by Gloria Steinem. It's called "If Men Could Menstruate" and it's hilarious and true...soooo true.

Stephanie, you will appreciate this, I promise!!!!

Here We Go Again!

Be prepared, I've got the soap box out and primed. This post is going to piss people off and before you even bother to say it: Yes, I'm aware of the fact that immigrants helped build this country, most of my family came here from somewhere else, so let's skip that particular dead horse, all right?

I was reading the news this morning on MSNBC, as I usually do and I came across an article about the House and the Senate debating the "English as a National Language" issue again. This is an issue that has been debated repeatedly for years. Easch time it is defeated and dropped.

Now it is being discussed again, due in large part to the recent immigration discussions. Here's the kicker: It's being called racist.

All I have to say to that is WTF??????? How is it racist to want the people that live in THIS country to speak the launguage taught in it's schools and spoken by the people NATIVE to the country.

Again, yes I know that this country was built by people from other countries, but not solely, and not all of them were non-english speaking. In fact, a large majority of the first people to settle here were native english speakers...AND...when those people came here from other countries, it was with the intention of becoming American citizens, they WANTED to learn English, and they wanted their children to learn English. So I say again, let's not beat that particular dead horse.

Fact is if I moved to another country, any other country, I would be expected to learn it's launguage. It's true that a lot of countries teach English in their schools, but not all citizens speak it and so I would not be able to rely on that. I would have to learn to speak French or Chinese, or Spanish, or Italian, or whatever the native language was if I intended to live and be sucessful in my new home. Why should it be any different for people living here?

I do belive that it is a good idea for children in our schools to learn a second launguage, but I DO NOT believe that they should have to learn a second language simply because a portion of the population doesn't speak English.

It boils down to this: Just like anyone else, just like any other situation, if you want to be successful you have to adapt. English IS the language spoken in the United States. Yes, there are bilingual households. Yes, speaking a second language is a good thing. However, we are an ENGLISH speaking nation, just like a lot of other English speaking nations, we shouldn't be ashamed of it, we shouldn't apologize for it. It's not racist to want the people that live here to be able to communicate freely.

It would be racist to say that if someone didn't speak English you weren't going to teach them, and you weren't going to let them work, but no one is saying that. It would be racist if people that spoke other languages were shunned and not given good opportunities, when in fact, at many jobs, people that speak other languages qualify for pay increases.

I'm putting the soapbox away now. Just remember, before you send me angry notes....please don't beat the dead horse, he's suffered enough.

Pictures of my Daughter for Mother's Day

Judy sent me pictures of Genevive for Mother's Day. Wasn't that thoughtful? I went out and bought a frame for one of them right away, it's one of Genevie and I together. She's so beautiful. I've posted a few that Judy emailed to me last week, just wanted to share her beauty with the world...oh and I added a couple of Jareth, because, well...because it's mother's day and I LOVE MY KIDS!!!

Start your week off with a laugh....(warning:adult content)

More fun stuff from Virob.com. Again, I warn you, if your easily offended, or at work, don't watch this. But it's a good way to start the week with a laugh.

Sunday

It's Sunday. Not much else to say. The weather was nice. I took a nap.

Wow...my life is boring.

I seriously need to try something new. Brazilian frog juggling or French Poodle Shaving or something. Any suggestions? Maybe I'll take up Nude Interpretive Jello Wrestling.

I'll be taking suggestions all week.

The Birthday, The Road Trip and the Blow Up Sheep

I love rainy mornings. The sound of rain against the windows has always been one of my favorite things. My son is still asleep, so I thought I would take some time and come in and write for a minute.

I went on a little road trip with a Stephanie on Tuesday, it was her birthday. Her original plan had been to sit at home and do nothing by herself all day...BORING!!!!! I told her we needed to get her out of the house and do something, anything...she decided we should take a roadtrip to Evanston, Wyoming. (For those of you NOT from Utah, Evanston is just over the border and it's where all the repressed people go to buy porn and fireworks *LOL*)

So, we get in her car and we head for Wyoming. On the way we listen to 80's music, we sing, we car dance.....you heard me, car dance. This makes everyone else on the road look at us funny and laugh, I'm not sure why. My theory? Life is to short NOT to have fun..so car dance for gosh sake's.

Anyway...

We get to Evanston, grab a quick bite to eat at a local restaurant where we manage to convince the waitress that we are either high or drunk, when we are neither and then we're off to the local porn store. That's right intrepid readers...the porn store.

I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I have however decided that the job I want is "sex toy namer". You know someone gets paid to just sit around and think up names like, "The Anal Intruder".....I mean come ON, you know whoever thought that up was laughing their butt off , or stoned, or most likely both. Stephanie and I were laughing so hard I thought I would pee my pants. There was this little vibrator shaped like a DOLPHIN....I'm not joking, a damned dolphin...and we were both making jokes about it:

"I wonder if it makes the noise...."insert me making dolphin noise here"

Stephanie: "Even better, I wonder if it makes YOU make the noise..."insert BOTH of us making dolphin noises here."

There was a store employee standing next to us and at this point he started cracking up.

We moved further up the aisle and at this point I spot...wait for it.... the Blow up Dolls. They had one named Two Ton Tammy. So the employee that we made laugh says: "They even make blow up sheep."

I reply, " Oh Lord, you're kidding, Do they come with Blow up velcro cowboy boots?"

He says: " I don't know, let me check."

The laughter is over the top at this point.....and he comes over with....you guessed it, BLOW UP SHEEP.....I thought I would die.

So yeah...it was a good day. I haven't laughed that hard in ages.

Well, not since the last time I hung out with Stephanie.

A little sad....

Having just realized that her best friend is on vacation this week, our intrepid blogger is a little sad. She realizes this means she will have no one to chat with while her son naps.

*moment of silence for the vacationing Stephanie*

Fun Words

This is my list of words in the English Language that are fun to say. I'll probably update it from time to time. You should try saying some of these words outloud for no reason at all, just to see how fun they are. (If you don't know what the word means, you can always look it up)

(1) lollygagger

(2) kumquat

(3) pfeffernusse (it's a cookie pe*fer*noose)

(4) nincompoop (and it's oh so fun derivation: nincompoopery)

(5) tomfoolery (yes, it is an actual word, I looked it up)

(6) bulbous ( even more fun when paired with the word bouffant and shared with a friend)

(7) mukluk

(8) idiosyncrasy ( this one has many fun derivations, play with them, roll them around on your tounge, make people stare at you....just makes the word more fun)

Well there you have the initial fun word list, I'll update it soon. If you have a word you think is fun ( and isn't a swear word, those don't count....) let me know, I'll add it to the list.

House Hunting in a small town

Russ and I have been trying to find a new place to rent for a month or so now and so far no luck. We thought we had found a place, but the owners are dragging their feet. They don't seem to actually want to rent the place. Last time I spoke with her, the owner said it would be at least a month (putting us into June) before the house would be ready, and that there were " a lot of interested applicants", so I'm guessing that's out. That leaves me with the unenviable task of having to find something else. This bums me out.

Everything in town is either to small or to expensive. So I decided to look at houses for sale. Well not actually houses, manufactured homes, but still. The problem: (1) down payment and (2) financing. I'm not working and Russ's credit has been screwed by that whore of an ex wife of his. ORS (I'll get to them in a minute) has his child support on his credit record, that could screw us before we even get out the door. But I have to try. The house payment on the one we're interested in would only be $170 a month, so even with utilities, we would only be paying about $400 a month, which would make it easy to pay the bills, even on one income.


All I know is I have to have someplace else to live before June 1st, when my daughter comes home. This trailer is not big enough and well, you've read the rest before.

And in other news:

Got a notice in the mail that ORS has DOUBLED Russ's child support payment, like we aren't barely making it now....so I called and talked to someone, and for the first time, I actually got some real information and some actual help. We'll see how that goes.

Okay, I'm done bitching now.

It Takes a Special Kind of Idiot.....(Do Not Watch if you are easily offended)

It takes a special kind of idiot to do something like this to himself. I'm betting he rode the short bus to school.

Special Note to any Shrinking Violets in the audience: Don't Watch This!!!!

It's a work of FICTION....

I've read The Da Vinci Code twice now. I still don't see what all the hype and outrage is about. It's a book. More over, it's a FICTIONAL book. I know that there are historians and scholars that claim Christ married and had a child, but this book...THIS particular piece of writing is FICTION. If peopel read it and get all confused then they should seriously think about therepy because if you can't seperate reality from fiction in your own mind, well......

I can understand why some people may not have wanted to read the book. They may have seen it as attacking the foundation of the Christian faith. I may not agree, but I respect their feelings. What I can't get behind is this sudden media driven push to stir up a controversy over a piece of FICTION!!!!

When Dan Brown comes out with a book he presents as fact, and then produces something he claims is hard evidence to back it up, then I will agree with people getting a little harried. Until that time, pull your panties out of your buttcheeks and sit down. It's a BOOK...for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!!!

SHEESH!!!!!!