5.21.2007

Leave your Selfishness at the www.

"Attention: All Hip Parenting Bloggers. You are being served with notice. Your parenting rights are about to be suspended. You are all in desperate need of a parenting class, or at least a healthy dose of reality and common sense. I am officially nauseated by your bitching, whining and complaining. Children are not social accessories. It is not their job to make your life easier, prettier or more exciting. I am hereby boycotting all "hip parenting bloggers". (While this boycott may be wholly ineffectual, it's principle based...a virtual sticking out of the tongue, if you will)

Children need parents, not buddies. They do not need you to have tattoos, piercings or be "cool". They need you to set boundaries, make rules and understand that it is, in fact, your job to clean up after them when they make messes. They need you to be the grown-up. They need you to not care if it makes you uncomfortable to confront the parent of the bully down the street because she's a friend of yours, they just need to know that you care more about them than you do about your social standing.

I am officially tired of the rhetoric being served up as "journalism". I am tired of being told that I am somehow failing as a parent because I am not trendy. There will be no bandwagon jumping here. My children will not be given cell phones to "keep in touch" with me. I will not buy them clothing that costs more than I spend on electricity in a month. I will not wrap them in so much protective gear that they bounce when they hit the ground. I will not enroll them in every after school activity known to man in the hopes that thirteen years from now some pinched faced matron will be kind enough to allow me to spend fifty thousand dollars on a college degree they can get at the local University.

I don't know where this new trend sprang from, but I really wish someone would stuff a sock in it. This "new voice" of parenting is, quite frankly, embarrassing. You make us look like a whining dissatisfied bunch of immature babies. You don't speak for me....so quit trying."

11 comments:

super des said...

Amen, sister! Reality check!
I can't wait til I'm a parent and I can put your ideals (which are also mine) into practice!

(Except for the tattoos and piercings, but I don't have those to impress my nonexistent children.)

Paula said...

The "sexymoms" make me barf. Yes, it's so great to be called a MILF when you're 40+, but really it's a little sick when the teen boys think the mom is more doable than her daughter. Put on a pair of frumpy old jeans and a sweatshirt and let your daughter have the spotlight, jeez! We'll term this "Demi Moore syndrome."

As for the rest of your awesome rant, I mostly agree, though I do like some of the music and am a "buddy" some of the time.

viciousrumours said...

des: yes, and it's okay to have tats and piercings, but not to GET them to try to be cooler for your kids.

Paula: Ah...but there's a difference between being friendly with your children and being trying to be their best friend. Oh, and my daughter thinks my music SUCKS, so if you can get yours to agree with you on it, more power to you!

Suzanne said...

Snicker.

Gunfighter said...

Another Amen, here!

DangerDoll: said...

Damn fine rant! Except...{gulp}...I have a couple of tattoos. On the upside, most of the other mommies hate me precisely because I actually parent my child. They marvel at the established bedtime and the thank you notes and the healthy diet. Does that count?

Yours is one shit list I don't wanna be on.

whiskeymarie said...

You sound like the type of parent I would be if I wanted to have kids.
Amen, my dear.

Gunfighter said...

Nothin' wrong with tats, DD...

I have some as well.

super des said...

Pshht.

I'll always be cooler than my kids.

viciousrumours said...

Correction: You THINK you'll always be cooler than you're kids. Once they hit puberty you will, in fact become the dumbest, most clueless person they know. It happens to all of us. Then, surprisingly, once they turn 18 or twenty, you start accruing IQ points again. It's an amazing thing.

Gunfighter said...

I'm in luck... my oldest (17) thinks the sun rises and sets to suit me... and my youngest (8) still wants to sit on my lap and have me sing her to sleep.