2.06.2008

And people wonder....

I was supposed to have an appointment with my therapist today but my son has had the flu all week and I've gotten ill myself. Instead of taking a contagious disease into an office full of people I called in ten minutes prior to my appointment time and explained the situation and asked that she call me. I then waited until twenty minutes after my scheduled appointment time to call back.

This is what I was told: "She's on a crisis call, would you like her voice mail?"

If I had been there in person, she would have been in session with me and would not have been given a crisis call, but apparently, because I wasn't there, I just don't count. People wonder why men and women with mental illnesses don't seek the medical help they need, I can start a list for you if you want.

It begins with feeling marginalized. Because I have Bipolar Disorder I am often told I'm "overreacting" if I get frustrated or angry in situations where "normal" people would react the same way. I have to watch how and when I chose to allow myself to become upset. People who do things that are insensitive or rude can often blow it off and blame it on me having an "episode" so somehow it isn't really them. Even professionals do this.

How do you react to this? Where do you go with that? When you get repeatedly told that you don't get to have normal reactions to frustrating or upsetting situations, where do you take those feelings? When you, as a "normal" person get to be angry at someone, what do I as a "unbalanced" person get to do? I have to worry all the time about how I'll be received.

What a load of shit.

4 comments:

super des said...

I wish I could be there to hug you.
*hug*

Suzanne said...

I actually think you have it doubly worse because a lot of women are automatically written off as being irrational or emotional when they are angry. I don't have bipolar disease, but people are always telling me that I am overreacting when I get pissed. (And sometimes it is true that I am, but not always.)

Iheartfashion said...

Hang in there!

jessabean said...

Why must we live so far apart? It's times like these that I need a coffee+bitch session...I wish I could have one with you!

I hate feeling marginalized, ignored, dismissed. And I'm sorry your therapist didn't respond, or at least have someone call you before your appointment to let you know that she was unavailable. :(

Hope you and your son feel better soon!