5.08.2007

Today we talk about "hip" parents

You know what? I am a tragically un-hip parent. If you look at my book shelves you will not see one parenting book. Until I started reading the so called "parenting blogs" I wasn't even aware that there were things like "Attachment Parenting" or "Helicopter Parents" or even "Hip Parents". When did this start? When did parenting become a thing we need recognition for? Did I miss the memo on this?

I grew up with siblings who were younger by eight and ten years respectively. This meant that I was the default babysitter, diaper changer and entertainer for a number of years. I learned to make bottles, change cloth diapers, how to care for an umbilical stump, how to burp...all those things, before I was twelve. When I had my daughter I just took her home. The nurse asked me if I had any questions and I think I probably looked at her like she was nuts.

I never worried about the "breast or bottle" thing. I can't breastfeed. So that made that decision for me. Both of my children were lactose intolerant, so we did soy formula. Guess what? Neither one of them is damaged. They both grew up happy, healthy and smart...no mental delays here.

I never "sleep trained" my children. What is that anyway? You stand at the door to your child's room and listen to him or her scream with the idea that it "teaches" them something? Okay....you do that. My kids learned this lesson: Mommy is there if I need her. If my children need to snuggle, we snuggle. If my children need to sleep with me, fine. It's hurting who? Once they're asleep, I pick them up and move them back to their own bed.

And don't even get me started on the whole whiner ass attitude of parents that need books and support groups so they can talk about how "monotonous" it is to be a parent. Newsflash: It is not your child's job to be entertaining or to make you feel fulfilled. It is your job to make your child feel safe and loved and ensure that they never feel like you see them as a burden...you big dumb IDIOT!! Apparently there are people out there that have children and are then surprised to learn that it is, for the most part daily repetition of the same activities because, well, they're KIDS!!

Here's an idea, if you aren't prepared to give up most everything in your life (not that you actually have to, but you should be prepared to) then don't have children. Being a parent is about being able to place the well being of your child first...all the time...everytime. Once you have kids, it's not about you anymore.

I don't know when it happened, but I think sometime in the last decade I morphed into my grandmother. I find myself shaking my head and muttering about the lack of good common sense when it comes to parenting today.

Yes, I am a tragically un-hip parent. Thank God.

6 comments:

Paula said...

Great post! I had some books, but I didn't pay much attention to most of the info cuz it was obviously stupid. Like if you're so selfish to eat a cookie while pregnant, then at least have a raisin cookie, not chocolate chip, in order to give baby a miniscule fraction of a gram more nutrients. OMG, my kid got an A minus on the math test and it's because I ate that chocolate chip cookie at 30 weeks!!! LOL

Anyway, yeah. I didn't know as much as you did, and I sure wasn't going to repeat everything my mother did, but I used my brain and it's all working out great, and dammit I'm gonna take a bit of credit for that. Hubby gets some too. :)

super des said...

Here here! (Or is it hear hear?)

I still say there should be a mandatory test before becoming a parent. Most people wouldn't pass.

DangerDoll said...

super des, amen!

I admit I had ALL the books, because I had zero role models and was scared shitless. However, by the time she was a few months old, I figured out that my intuition was actually damned good, allowed myself to feel secure in that, and then only used the medical books (kept me from rushing to the pediatrician at every little burp and fart).

Suzanne said...

I think the books and theories just make people crazy. Anything that insists that you must raise your kid one way or you must do a certain thing or they are doomed is just screwed up.

viciousrumours said...

Most of the time, I just don't tell my children's doctor if I do something I think they won't approve of. Like when my son needed thicker formula so he could keep it down...we added thickner to it and just kept it to ourselves. He gained weight, the doctor was happy, no one was upset. It all worked out.

Oh...and I do run to the doctor whenever I feel the need. That's why I pay those insane premiums. I want to hear, "Nope, he's fine." It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. *laughs*

Gunfighter said...

Brava! Brava!

You summed up many of my thoughts so nicely.