As many of you may have noticed, I haven't been around for the past week. That's because on Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 I gave birth to a 7lb 3oz baby boy. We named him Galen Michael Sorensen. He was beautiful and perfect and two weeks early.
Just like his sister before him, we placed him for adoption...with the same family that adopted his sister. They named him Archibald James. He is still perfect and beautiful, but he is gone today. They got the official okay from the state of Utah to go home this morning and I'm feeling a little numb.
I know that it was the best decision for my son. I know that he will be loved and cherished. I know that I will see him and that he will know I made this decision out of love for him. But on the inside I ache a little. This is the third child I have had to say good-bye to in my life time and part of me wants to be selfish and ask why. Part of me wants to cry and scream and be angry.
And then there's the part of me that rejoices knowing that all three of those children are living the lives they were meant to live. All three of those precious gifts are being cherished and snuggled and loved. They will always have the warmth and safety of a family and they will always be part of something beautiful. People say they don't understand how I could give my children away. I don't look at it like that. I didn't give my children away. The adoption didn't make them any less my children, it just made them my children in a different way. I did the one thing I could for them as their mother, I made a good choice for them. Being a good parent isn't always about the easy choice.
To all my children: You mommy loves you.