I love my kid. That's it, I don't have anything else to say tonight.
1.21.2008
1.17.2008
And then there was silence......
Let me just start by saying: "Please don't ask me where I've been." The answer to that question would require several long, complicated, drawn out blog posts and I just don't feel like going into it. I'm sure that over time the saga will leak out in bits and pieces that will make you go, "What the fuck was that all about?" Let's just leave it at that.
So, for now, let me just say...I kind of missed you guys. I missed having a sounding board. I missed seeing your smiling little faces. I just missed everything.
So, for now, let me just say...I kind of missed you guys. I missed having a sounding board. I missed seeing your smiling little faces. I just missed everything.
9.07.2007
The author of one of my favorite series of books has passed away. I usually don't say anything about the passing of a celebrity because I don't know them personally, but this saddened me a bit.
Madeleine L’Engle, you will be missed. I will share your work with my children and my grandchildren. I will carry your memory in my heart. You made my life brighter and I am sad that you are gone.
I remember with clarity the first time I read "A Wrinkle in Time". I remember how excited I was when I finished it. I remember rushing to the library to get the next book. I remember feeling that same rush of excitement last month when I read it again.
Madeleine L’Engle did what I hope to do as a writer some day, she inspired imagination. She sparked creativity and a passion for dreams. Madeleine L’Engle was a builder of worlds and an architect of futures.
If you have never read her books I encourage you to do so. If you read them as a child I encourage you to read them again. Read them to your children. Read them to your grandchildren. Read them to your nephews and your nieces and your neighbors children. Volunteer at a local school and read them to a classroom full of wide eyed fourth graders. Share this marvel with a whole new generation.
Madeleine L’Engle you will be missed.
Madeleine L’Engle, you will be missed. I will share your work with my children and my grandchildren. I will carry your memory in my heart. You made my life brighter and I am sad that you are gone.
I remember with clarity the first time I read "A Wrinkle in Time". I remember how excited I was when I finished it. I remember rushing to the library to get the next book. I remember feeling that same rush of excitement last month when I read it again.
Madeleine L’Engle did what I hope to do as a writer some day, she inspired imagination. She sparked creativity and a passion for dreams. Madeleine L’Engle was a builder of worlds and an architect of futures.
If you have never read her books I encourage you to do so. If you read them as a child I encourage you to read them again. Read them to your children. Read them to your grandchildren. Read them to your nephews and your nieces and your neighbors children. Volunteer at a local school and read them to a classroom full of wide eyed fourth graders. Share this marvel with a whole new generation.
Madeleine L’Engle you will be missed.
A topic I seem to discuss a lot.....
Since I started college again, I haven't really been doing a lot of blogging. Today, I was reading over at CUSS and at the end of the post Suzanne asks that anyone that supports Planned Parenthood blog about it. I think I will.
Planned Parenthood is a good program. If it received more funding and wasn't restricted by so many nonsensical things it could do more good. People who make the assertion that giving away free condoms will urge teenagers to have sex are just morons. There's no other way to say it. Teenagers are going to have sex, teenagers have always had sex. Not giving them birth control isn't going to make a sixteen year old boy who's about to get some go, "Oh, wait. I should stop and consider what this might do to my future." (As I type this I am making a very unladylike noise...you know the one, the *phtt* "AS IF" noise...)
Planned Parenthood often does what most REAL parents are not willing to do. It talks to teens about sex. More importantly, it provides services to more than just teenagers.
Now.....
Earlier in the post, Suzanne talks about how the "pro-life" groups amount to nothing more than terrorists. On one level I agree with her. The people you read about in the paper and see on the news are horrid people, concerned more about their own political or religious views than they are about doing any real good for anyone. But it is important to remember, that just like the fact that the picture painted of "pro-choice" groups in the media isn't accurate, the picture painted of the other side is blown out of proportion a bit as well.
I have met some of these "save the baby, no matter what" people. I know they exist, but I also know several people who are right to life because they firmly believe that those children would be loved by a family, even if it isn't the woman who gives birth to them. They believe that these women should be given adequate access to health care during their pregnancy. Emotional support should be made available and that they should be given financial support if it is necessary. They also believe that education, to prevent another unwanted pregnancy from occurring, is vital.
Calling ALL pro-life individuals terrorists, is like calling people on the pro-choice side murderers. I could make a case for that. It wouldn't make it accurate or true, but I could make a strong, fact based, rational argument for it...using things I've seen in the media and examples from personal experience. It boils down to this: Not everyone is a fucked up as the people you see on the news.
Still not done......
I'm really, really hoping that the portion of Suzanne's post where she talks about the unborn being easy to care about because they're quiet was meant to be slightly sarcastic. If not, it's highly offensive. I've had children. Five of them. Two were planned, three were not. One was in my teens. One in my twenties. And the last three in my thirties. I know exactly what being pregnant will do to your body at most stages of life. I know it's a hell of a lot easier being pregnant at 18 than it is at 35. I also know that just because a child is unborn, doesn't make it "quiet". Unwanted or not, it's a human being. Unwanted or not, it is a CHILD.
I want everyone reading this to know that I'm firm in this belief. It's very easy to talk clinically about "when life begins". Bravo for advanced society. What I don't hear anyone talking about is the fact that we have dehumanized the killing of a person. There, I said it. If you were to read in a newspaper or see on the news about some person hunting down and cutting unborn children from their mother's wombs, you would think, "murderer". I have heard people, time and time again, make the argument that if a person kills a pregnant woman they should be charged with the murder of the unborn child as well. Why? Because someone WANTED that child? Is that what it takes to make the difference between "ending a pregnancy" and "murder"?
When you denigrate human life by saying that abortion is okay because it's "not really" a person, you steal humanity from us. Throughout history I can point you to cases where horrible atrocities have occurred using that very same argument. Our own nations history is peppered with them. "It's okay, they don't really count." It demoralizes our society, it makes it easier for our young people to rationalize bad choices and it is, at it's core, an empty argument. There are those of you reading this that are poised and ready to type,"It isn't the same thing. Those were..." Go one, finish the sentence...those were... "people". So are the unborn. They may not be able to walk among us, but they are people. And the choice we talk about so freely is never given to them. While we are in such a rush to protect the woman who didn't want to be pregnant...while we're in such a hurry to protect her right to have sex when she wants, with whoever she wants, as often as she wants...with no responsibility...we have stopped giving a DAMN about the child no one wants.
Except there are plenty of people who do want them. There are literally thousands and thousands of families out there waiting for some woman to be kind enough to provide them with the one thing they can not get for themselves...a child. I never hear anyone talk about adoption. I hear plenty of, "who pays for the diapers? who pays for daycare?" Who says she has to KEEP the baby? Where is that option? In the grand argument for choice? Where is THAT argument? No where to be found.
It boils down to, a woman shouldn't be "forced" to be pregnant. Fine. If you want to be pro-choice, great. Be pro-choice. I've said before that as long as it's a legal option, women should have access to it. But do NOT insult those of us who have chosen to give our children life. Do not dare to even whisper that those babies were less human. Part of the choice in "pro-choice" is taking responsibility for the fact that you are ending a human life. You can't have one without the other. You don't get to be all comfortable and safe and say that you aren't really supporting "that". You are. And if you're okay with it, for whatever reason...fine. But be big enough to stand behind it.
I have had three unexpected pregnancies in my life. Each time they disrupted my life. Financially, physically, emotionally. Each time I have had long standing, far reaching consequences. And each time I have made a CHOICE. I chose to give my children life. I chose to find a loving family for my children. I was a mother first, a woman second.
I take great offense when I hear people talk about the unborn as though they have no value. It angers me. It hurts me. It makes me want to scream. And it makes me cry.
The unborn are not silent. The unborn are not less valuable than the person sitting next to you. It makes me sick to my stomach that our society cares more about it's animals than it does about it's children. Don't believe me? I can point you to hundreds of "animal cruelty" websites designed to prevent me from eating that poor helpless cow up the street, but when I try to point out that abortion ends human life? Suddenly I'm an evil anti-woman throw back that wants to prevent women from having free choice over their own bodies. Chew on that one for a while.
Planned Parenthood is a good program. If it received more funding and wasn't restricted by so many nonsensical things it could do more good. People who make the assertion that giving away free condoms will urge teenagers to have sex are just morons. There's no other way to say it. Teenagers are going to have sex, teenagers have always had sex. Not giving them birth control isn't going to make a sixteen year old boy who's about to get some go, "Oh, wait. I should stop and consider what this might do to my future." (As I type this I am making a very unladylike noise...you know the one, the *phtt* "AS IF" noise...)
Planned Parenthood often does what most REAL parents are not willing to do. It talks to teens about sex. More importantly, it provides services to more than just teenagers.
Now.....
Earlier in the post, Suzanne talks about how the "pro-life" groups amount to nothing more than terrorists. On one level I agree with her. The people you read about in the paper and see on the news are horrid people, concerned more about their own political or religious views than they are about doing any real good for anyone. But it is important to remember, that just like the fact that the picture painted of "pro-choice" groups in the media isn't accurate, the picture painted of the other side is blown out of proportion a bit as well.
I have met some of these "save the baby, no matter what" people. I know they exist, but I also know several people who are right to life because they firmly believe that those children would be loved by a family, even if it isn't the woman who gives birth to them. They believe that these women should be given adequate access to health care during their pregnancy. Emotional support should be made available and that they should be given financial support if it is necessary. They also believe that education, to prevent another unwanted pregnancy from occurring, is vital.
Calling ALL pro-life individuals terrorists, is like calling people on the pro-choice side murderers. I could make a case for that. It wouldn't make it accurate or true, but I could make a strong, fact based, rational argument for it...using things I've seen in the media and examples from personal experience. It boils down to this: Not everyone is a fucked up as the people you see on the news.
Still not done......
I'm really, really hoping that the portion of Suzanne's post where she talks about the unborn being easy to care about because they're quiet was meant to be slightly sarcastic. If not, it's highly offensive. I've had children. Five of them. Two were planned, three were not. One was in my teens. One in my twenties. And the last three in my thirties. I know exactly what being pregnant will do to your body at most stages of life. I know it's a hell of a lot easier being pregnant at 18 than it is at 35. I also know that just because a child is unborn, doesn't make it "quiet". Unwanted or not, it's a human being. Unwanted or not, it is a CHILD.
I want everyone reading this to know that I'm firm in this belief. It's very easy to talk clinically about "when life begins". Bravo for advanced society. What I don't hear anyone talking about is the fact that we have dehumanized the killing of a person. There, I said it. If you were to read in a newspaper or see on the news about some person hunting down and cutting unborn children from their mother's wombs, you would think, "murderer". I have heard people, time and time again, make the argument that if a person kills a pregnant woman they should be charged with the murder of the unborn child as well. Why? Because someone WANTED that child? Is that what it takes to make the difference between "ending a pregnancy" and "murder"?
When you denigrate human life by saying that abortion is okay because it's "not really" a person, you steal humanity from us. Throughout history I can point you to cases where horrible atrocities have occurred using that very same argument. Our own nations history is peppered with them. "It's okay, they don't really count." It demoralizes our society, it makes it easier for our young people to rationalize bad choices and it is, at it's core, an empty argument. There are those of you reading this that are poised and ready to type,"It isn't the same thing. Those were..." Go one, finish the sentence...those were... "people". So are the unborn. They may not be able to walk among us, but they are people. And the choice we talk about so freely is never given to them. While we are in such a rush to protect the woman who didn't want to be pregnant...while we're in such a hurry to protect her right to have sex when she wants, with whoever she wants, as often as she wants...with no responsibility...we have stopped giving a DAMN about the child no one wants.
Except there are plenty of people who do want them. There are literally thousands and thousands of families out there waiting for some woman to be kind enough to provide them with the one thing they can not get for themselves...a child. I never hear anyone talk about adoption. I hear plenty of, "who pays for the diapers? who pays for daycare?" Who says she has to KEEP the baby? Where is that option? In the grand argument for choice? Where is THAT argument? No where to be found.
It boils down to, a woman shouldn't be "forced" to be pregnant. Fine. If you want to be pro-choice, great. Be pro-choice. I've said before that as long as it's a legal option, women should have access to it. But do NOT insult those of us who have chosen to give our children life. Do not dare to even whisper that those babies were less human. Part of the choice in "pro-choice" is taking responsibility for the fact that you are ending a human life. You can't have one without the other. You don't get to be all comfortable and safe and say that you aren't really supporting "that". You are. And if you're okay with it, for whatever reason...fine. But be big enough to stand behind it.
I have had three unexpected pregnancies in my life. Each time they disrupted my life. Financially, physically, emotionally. Each time I have had long standing, far reaching consequences. And each time I have made a CHOICE. I chose to give my children life. I chose to find a loving family for my children. I was a mother first, a woman second.
I take great offense when I hear people talk about the unborn as though they have no value. It angers me. It hurts me. It makes me want to scream. And it makes me cry.
The unborn are not silent. The unborn are not less valuable than the person sitting next to you. It makes me sick to my stomach that our society cares more about it's animals than it does about it's children. Don't believe me? I can point you to hundreds of "animal cruelty" websites designed to prevent me from eating that poor helpless cow up the street, but when I try to point out that abortion ends human life? Suddenly I'm an evil anti-woman throw back that wants to prevent women from having free choice over their own bodies. Chew on that one for a while.
8.24.2007
Before I get into this post I want to say a couple of things. First I want to say to one person in particular who may be reading this: Nothing you are about to read is aimed at you. You have never been anything but kind and thoughtful. You have been loving and supportive and more wonderful than I can ever tell you. Please do not think for a moment that I believe you minimize me or trivialize my feelings or importance. I have been lucky in the extreme. Our's is the example all others should follow. There would never be another bad experience if everyone took the time you have.
Second: I want to say that I acknowledge and understand the very real pain, frustration and depression that parents trying to adopt go through. I have seen it in the eyes of women I know. I am not trying to downplay that. I am not trying to minimialize that. That is not what I want to talk about right now.
Recently I overheard a slice of conversation. It is not the first such slice of conversation I have heard and I do not kid myself by thinking it will be the last. Two women were discussing a family member who had recently had an adoption fall through. One of them fairly hissed the word "birthmother" like it was dirty in her mouth. They spoke about the woman who had changed her mind as if she were vile and loathsome, full of evil, cunning and hate. It made my stomach roil. I actually felt as if I were about to vomit.
Because I understood the pain they were feeling on behalf of their loved one I kept my mouth shut. On the inside I was screaming. Crying out on behalf of the woman they were scorning so casually. They were talking about her as if she had no right to the child she gave birth to. As if by simply considering adoption she had lost all rights to call that child her own. I wanted to lash out.
Any of you who read here regularly will know that I have placed three children for adoption in my lifetime. One at the age of nineteen and two in the last two years. None of the adoptions were easy for me and I have in my possesion journals filled with page after page of anger, self loathing, jealousy, hatred, self doubt, self pity, bitterness, depression and venom soaked words aimed at a world I could not understand. All the pages are dotted by my own tears.
The thing I wanted most to tell these women was that simply because a woman considers or even goes through with an adoption does not make her any less a mother. What makes a woman a mother isn't a piece of legal documentation. You can't snatch up a baby, holler, "Mine!" like it was a baby doll on a playground and run off expecting that the other person, the one who gave birth to the child, will have no further feelings. And yet I see it over and over again. I see adoptive families that talk about birthparents like an afterthought. They talk about them like they did some huge favor and, "Oh wasn't that nice of them...but their gone now." I don't know that it's intentional, which is why I never say anything, but it's insulting, to say the least.
I'm sure that someone will point out to me that there are situations where the birthmothers don't care. That some children are taken from their natural parents. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about women like me. Women who, for one reason or another know that we can not provide the best home for our children. For me it was knowing that without access to consistent medical care for my Bipolar Disorder the stress of having three children under age three in the house would likely push me into a state where I would end up dead or permenantly hospitalized. I had to weigh the welfare of not just the two infants, but the two already at home.
When I signed those papers, I didn't stop loving my children. I stopped being their parent, but I will never stop being their mother. That never stops. That love never goes away. Every day I think about them. Every day I wonder how they are. Every day I thank God for finding a safe and loving home for them. Signing those papers took away my legal right to have a say in how they are raised and to obtain information about them. It didn't take away my right to love them.
When a woman who has said she will place a child for adoption changes her mind it is often because she can not face that very thing. There is a terror there. How can I be sure? If I don't have the legal right to know that these people are treating my child well, that my child is safe and healthy, how do I know? What will I do if I find out later that something happened? What if they turn out to be abusive? What happens if they die and my child ends up with someone I don't even know? Can you even imagine that terror? Or the guilt that goes with it?
Its hard enough trying to find the words to explain to this precious little life why you couldn't keep it. Why you gave it to someone else to love, protect, cherish and watch grow. How do you find those words? Where do you even begin to look for them? For some women, there are no words and trying to contemplate finding them hurts so badly, they simply stop the process. It becomes easier to deal with the unwanted pregnancy than to deal with the aftermath of placing a child.
The after effect of placing a child for adoption is just like losing a child to death. You go through the same grief process.
Yet when a woman changes her mind she is viewed as a hideous monster. Lower than low. How could she hurt someone that way? How could she cause such pain and torment?
Who cries for her? Who heals her broken heart? No one.
As birthmothers we sign a piece of paper and we leave the hospital and that is that. We are expected to walk away from a living breathing child and never look back. There is no counseling offered, no support. Even what is called "open adoption" isn't really open. Most often it amounts to a letter and some pictures once or twice a year. We are cut out of the childs life forever. We have no place in that world.
The next time you read a story or hear about a birthmother who has changed her mind, think about this story before you judge her harshly. Think about your own feelings as a parent and what you would do if someone asked you to simply walk away from one or all of your children without looking back. How easy would it be for you?
Second: I want to say that I acknowledge and understand the very real pain, frustration and depression that parents trying to adopt go through. I have seen it in the eyes of women I know. I am not trying to downplay that. I am not trying to minimialize that. That is not what I want to talk about right now.
Recently I overheard a slice of conversation. It is not the first such slice of conversation I have heard and I do not kid myself by thinking it will be the last. Two women were discussing a family member who had recently had an adoption fall through. One of them fairly hissed the word "birthmother" like it was dirty in her mouth. They spoke about the woman who had changed her mind as if she were vile and loathsome, full of evil, cunning and hate. It made my stomach roil. I actually felt as if I were about to vomit.
Because I understood the pain they were feeling on behalf of their loved one I kept my mouth shut. On the inside I was screaming. Crying out on behalf of the woman they were scorning so casually. They were talking about her as if she had no right to the child she gave birth to. As if by simply considering adoption she had lost all rights to call that child her own. I wanted to lash out.
Any of you who read here regularly will know that I have placed three children for adoption in my lifetime. One at the age of nineteen and two in the last two years. None of the adoptions were easy for me and I have in my possesion journals filled with page after page of anger, self loathing, jealousy, hatred, self doubt, self pity, bitterness, depression and venom soaked words aimed at a world I could not understand. All the pages are dotted by my own tears.
The thing I wanted most to tell these women was that simply because a woman considers or even goes through with an adoption does not make her any less a mother. What makes a woman a mother isn't a piece of legal documentation. You can't snatch up a baby, holler, "Mine!" like it was a baby doll on a playground and run off expecting that the other person, the one who gave birth to the child, will have no further feelings. And yet I see it over and over again. I see adoptive families that talk about birthparents like an afterthought. They talk about them like they did some huge favor and, "Oh wasn't that nice of them...but their gone now." I don't know that it's intentional, which is why I never say anything, but it's insulting, to say the least.
I'm sure that someone will point out to me that there are situations where the birthmothers don't care. That some children are taken from their natural parents. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about women like me. Women who, for one reason or another know that we can not provide the best home for our children. For me it was knowing that without access to consistent medical care for my Bipolar Disorder the stress of having three children under age three in the house would likely push me into a state where I would end up dead or permenantly hospitalized. I had to weigh the welfare of not just the two infants, but the two already at home.
When I signed those papers, I didn't stop loving my children. I stopped being their parent, but I will never stop being their mother. That never stops. That love never goes away. Every day I think about them. Every day I wonder how they are. Every day I thank God for finding a safe and loving home for them. Signing those papers took away my legal right to have a say in how they are raised and to obtain information about them. It didn't take away my right to love them.
When a woman who has said she will place a child for adoption changes her mind it is often because she can not face that very thing. There is a terror there. How can I be sure? If I don't have the legal right to know that these people are treating my child well, that my child is safe and healthy, how do I know? What will I do if I find out later that something happened? What if they turn out to be abusive? What happens if they die and my child ends up with someone I don't even know? Can you even imagine that terror? Or the guilt that goes with it?
Its hard enough trying to find the words to explain to this precious little life why you couldn't keep it. Why you gave it to someone else to love, protect, cherish and watch grow. How do you find those words? Where do you even begin to look for them? For some women, there are no words and trying to contemplate finding them hurts so badly, they simply stop the process. It becomes easier to deal with the unwanted pregnancy than to deal with the aftermath of placing a child.
The after effect of placing a child for adoption is just like losing a child to death. You go through the same grief process.
Yet when a woman changes her mind she is viewed as a hideous monster. Lower than low. How could she hurt someone that way? How could she cause such pain and torment?
Who cries for her? Who heals her broken heart? No one.
As birthmothers we sign a piece of paper and we leave the hospital and that is that. We are expected to walk away from a living breathing child and never look back. There is no counseling offered, no support. Even what is called "open adoption" isn't really open. Most often it amounts to a letter and some pictures once or twice a year. We are cut out of the childs life forever. We have no place in that world.
The next time you read a story or hear about a birthmother who has changed her mind, think about this story before you judge her harshly. Think about your own feelings as a parent and what you would do if someone asked you to simply walk away from one or all of your children without looking back. How easy would it be for you?
I covet. Not just one thing. There are several things I covet. I have found that in my dark corners I have secret yearnings. I feel I must confess this sin.
Furniture from IKEA. The funky chairs. The oddly shaped couches. The sleak-lined beds. The endless supply of storage boxes. I want it all.
Books. The feel of them. The smell of the ink on the pages. I don't want e-books or audio books. I want the real thing. Hard bound. Soft bound. Trade size. Mass market paper back. Childrens books. Young Adult. Science Fiction. Non-fiction. I read it all.
Disney World Vacations. Odd? Yes, I know. I sit and day dream about spending a week in this magical place. It calls to me. The brightly colored commercialism. The sureity that I won't have to do anything. The laughter. The fun. I want it.
You may be thinking that I have used the wrong word to describe my feelings for these things.
To Covet:
cov·et /ˈkʌvɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhv-it] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others: to covet another's property.
2. to wish for, esp. eagerly: He won the prize they all coveted.
–verb (used without object) 3. to have an inordinate or wrongful desire.
I lust for these things. Against all my better judgement. I practically drool when I think of them. I am jealous of those I know that have the them.
I am a sad, sad shell of a human being.
Furniture from IKEA. The funky chairs. The oddly shaped couches. The sleak-lined beds. The endless supply of storage boxes. I want it all.
Books. The feel of them. The smell of the ink on the pages. I don't want e-books or audio books. I want the real thing. Hard bound. Soft bound. Trade size. Mass market paper back. Childrens books. Young Adult. Science Fiction. Non-fiction. I read it all.
Disney World Vacations. Odd? Yes, I know. I sit and day dream about spending a week in this magical place. It calls to me. The brightly colored commercialism. The sureity that I won't have to do anything. The laughter. The fun. I want it.
You may be thinking that I have used the wrong word to describe my feelings for these things.
To Covet:
cov·et /ˈkʌvɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhv-it] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others: to covet another's property.
2. to wish for, esp. eagerly: He won the prize they all coveted.
–verb (used without object) 3. to have an inordinate or wrongful desire.
I lust for these things. Against all my better judgement. I practically drool when I think of them. I am jealous of those I know that have the them.
I am a sad, sad shell of a human being.
8.23.2007
Because when you're rich "Crazy" becomes "Eccentric"
Let's face it, if you went to pick up one of your friends for a night out on the town and she was dressed in a white bikini, Jedi cape and Velvet Muk-Luks, you would have her checked for drug usage.
I give a big thumbs up to Bia Ling. She's either crazy as the day is long or she just doesn't give a shit! Either way, I love her!
Debtor's Prison....An Idea whose Time has come Again?
As I was reading the news this morning, there was an article about the Fed slashing the rate charged to the nation's "least credit worthy commercial banks". Apparently this was done in response to pressure received from Wall Street and the White House and was supposed to help the Economy. The consensus seems to be, however, that it will have the opposite effect.
About half-way through the article there's a link that says:
Talk back: Time to bring back debtors prison?
I stared at this for a moment, stunned. Was the person that wrote this serious? Surely no one could think this would be a good idea. Curious now, I clicked the link. Sadly, there were actually people who thought it might be a good idea. They were limiting it to the housing area, but seemed oblivious to the larger picture.
Walk with me down this twisted path, won't you?
Tomorrow the United States Government reinstates "debtor's prison" making it a criminal offense to renege on a debt. This offense is punishable by time in a federal prison. It is meant to keep people from taking on debt they can not realistically hope to sustain. (Because we all know how good Americans are at preventing crime....that's why there are NO drunk drivers in this country, right? Because people KNOW it's illegal.)
Now, the law goes into effect and suddenly Joe down the street is being arrested. You look at your spouse and you say, "I didn't know Joe was behind on his mortgage payment." Your spouse replies, "Oh he wasn't. Last year Little Sally got sick and they had some medical bills they couldn't pay. That's what he got arrested for."
Two days later your at work and Tammy, the girl in the next cubicle, doesn't come back from lunch. You inquire about what happened to her. Your coworker says to you in hushed tones, "Oh, didn't you hear? Last winter she ran up a huge gas bill that she hasn't paid off. She got arrested for it."
How about that movie you forgot to return? The library fine you forgot you had? The teenager that writes a bad check? Let's not even get started on credit card debt....
Meanwhile, you start to notice that there aren't any wealthy people being arrested, even that guy down the street that you KNOW hasn't made his house payment in six months because he's paying alimony to three wives. Why? Because he can pay an attorney.
Debtor's prisons punish the poor simply for being poor. It's why they were done away with in the first place. Instead of even entertaining a discussion about bringing back such an arcahic and useless system, we should be discussing the real problems. Credit card companies that extend credit to people when they know those people can not possibly make the amount of money required to pay off the balances in a realistic amount of time. Mortgage companies that will offer finance rates that suddenly change, thus making a home look affordable when it really isn't.
And the most important factor? Teaching people to live with in their means. Sure you might be able to afford a $3800.00 house payment, but can you still afford a $3800.00 house payment when you add in the actual cost of the home? The electricity, gas, water and upkeep on a home that size? Does your family really NEED a home that size? Do you need five credit cards? Why not save up for what you need?
Most banks offer pre-paid Visa or MasterCard that can be used to shop online or take on vacation. Keep one that you use for emergencies or hotel reservations and car rentals if needed.
It's called Common Sense.
I am hereby forming the Citizens Coalition for Common Sense. If you join, it will be your job to scoff openly at the idiotic lack of common sense in society today. When you see someone doing something blatantly stupid it will be your job to laugh openly, but not explain why your laughing. More importantly, it will be your job to work for the implementation of Common Sense in everyday life.
They say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well it's broke...we need to fix it. FAST.
About half-way through the article there's a link that says:
Talk back: Time to bring back debtors prison?
I stared at this for a moment, stunned. Was the person that wrote this serious? Surely no one could think this would be a good idea. Curious now, I clicked the link. Sadly, there were actually people who thought it might be a good idea. They were limiting it to the housing area, but seemed oblivious to the larger picture.
Walk with me down this twisted path, won't you?
Tomorrow the United States Government reinstates "debtor's prison" making it a criminal offense to renege on a debt. This offense is punishable by time in a federal prison. It is meant to keep people from taking on debt they can not realistically hope to sustain. (Because we all know how good Americans are at preventing crime....that's why there are NO drunk drivers in this country, right? Because people KNOW it's illegal.)
Now, the law goes into effect and suddenly Joe down the street is being arrested. You look at your spouse and you say, "I didn't know Joe was behind on his mortgage payment." Your spouse replies, "Oh he wasn't. Last year Little Sally got sick and they had some medical bills they couldn't pay. That's what he got arrested for."
Two days later your at work and Tammy, the girl in the next cubicle, doesn't come back from lunch. You inquire about what happened to her. Your coworker says to you in hushed tones, "Oh, didn't you hear? Last winter she ran up a huge gas bill that she hasn't paid off. She got arrested for it."
How about that movie you forgot to return? The library fine you forgot you had? The teenager that writes a bad check? Let's not even get started on credit card debt....
Meanwhile, you start to notice that there aren't any wealthy people being arrested, even that guy down the street that you KNOW hasn't made his house payment in six months because he's paying alimony to three wives. Why? Because he can pay an attorney.
Debtor's prisons punish the poor simply for being poor. It's why they were done away with in the first place. Instead of even entertaining a discussion about bringing back such an arcahic and useless system, we should be discussing the real problems. Credit card companies that extend credit to people when they know those people can not possibly make the amount of money required to pay off the balances in a realistic amount of time. Mortgage companies that will offer finance rates that suddenly change, thus making a home look affordable when it really isn't.
And the most important factor? Teaching people to live with in their means. Sure you might be able to afford a $3800.00 house payment, but can you still afford a $3800.00 house payment when you add in the actual cost of the home? The electricity, gas, water and upkeep on a home that size? Does your family really NEED a home that size? Do you need five credit cards? Why not save up for what you need?
Most banks offer pre-paid Visa or MasterCard that can be used to shop online or take on vacation. Keep one that you use for emergencies or hotel reservations and car rentals if needed.
It's called Common Sense.
I am hereby forming the Citizens Coalition for Common Sense. If you join, it will be your job to scoff openly at the idiotic lack of common sense in society today. When you see someone doing something blatantly stupid it will be your job to laugh openly, but not explain why your laughing. More importantly, it will be your job to work for the implementation of Common Sense in everyday life.
They say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well it's broke...we need to fix it. FAST.
8.19.2007
Who do we blame?
I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend and we ended up discussing the topic of the culture of excess that thrives in our nation. As a country was have come to rely on things that are not actually necessary to our everyday survival and that self entitlement thought pattern is passing into our younger generations.
We treat luxury items like they are everyday necessities and worse a vast majority of people don't stop to think about how what they buy and the price they pay for it effects the overall picture.
Stay with me on this for a moment. I've had this discussion before, most memorably with a co-worker who wanted to buy a Rolex. I asked why. His answer? "Well, because it's a Rolex." He was confused that I didn't understand his desire for this item. I asked him if a Rolex told better time than a $24.99 Timex. He looked at me like I was stupid,"No, but it's a Rolex." Then I asked him if perhaps magical elves were making the watches and that's what made them special. He snorted at me and said, "Now you're just being stupid." I shrugged and said, "Well, if you're wanting to spend 10,000 on a watch I don't know that that makes me the stupid one." He didn't talk to me for about a week.
I hear people talk all the time about how hard they work for their money and how they deserve to have the nice things in life, but I often wonder what that means. Does spending $100 on a pair of jeans make them better or more special? Does having a particular name stiched into the back of your shirt make you a better person?
Most of these same people talk about the good works they do. The charities they support. I can't help thinking that if they weren't spending $200 on a single shirt, they could have helped more. I will never make a good rich person. I just don't understand the mind-set.
The only reason stores like Abercrombie and Fitch or Banana Republic can charge what they do is because people pay the prices. If no one shopped there, you can damn well bet the prices would be much lower.
How does this effect the big picture? Think about it for a minute. Why do you suppose so many young people are looking for a way to make money quickly? Why do you think teenagers look down their noses at jobs that pay minimum wage? There's a culture in our society now that says that to be successful you must wear Item A and own Item B. To fit in with the people who matter you have to look one way, act one way, smell one way.....and the majority of people don't even question it.
My husband has three pairs of Doc Martin boots, several designer lable shirts and jeans and I have a few myself. You want to know where I got them? At the used clothing store. I paid no more than $5.00 for each piece in the closet.
We talk a lot in todays world about how to make things better for the people who don't make that much. How about simply making it so that everyone can afford to live? Stop paying for the $300 shoes and the $40,000 cars. If no one bought them....
The next time you go shopping and you reach for something, stop a moment and think about what you're buying and how much you're paying for it. Think about why you're buying that particular brand. Maybe if more of us start thinking about the little things we do everyday we can bring a larger sense of social conscieness back into our world.
We treat luxury items like they are everyday necessities and worse a vast majority of people don't stop to think about how what they buy and the price they pay for it effects the overall picture.
Stay with me on this for a moment. I've had this discussion before, most memorably with a co-worker who wanted to buy a Rolex. I asked why. His answer? "Well, because it's a Rolex." He was confused that I didn't understand his desire for this item. I asked him if a Rolex told better time than a $24.99 Timex. He looked at me like I was stupid,"No, but it's a Rolex." Then I asked him if perhaps magical elves were making the watches and that's what made them special. He snorted at me and said, "Now you're just being stupid." I shrugged and said, "Well, if you're wanting to spend 10,000 on a watch I don't know that that makes me the stupid one." He didn't talk to me for about a week.
I hear people talk all the time about how hard they work for their money and how they deserve to have the nice things in life, but I often wonder what that means. Does spending $100 on a pair of jeans make them better or more special? Does having a particular name stiched into the back of your shirt make you a better person?
Most of these same people talk about the good works they do. The charities they support. I can't help thinking that if they weren't spending $200 on a single shirt, they could have helped more. I will never make a good rich person. I just don't understand the mind-set.
The only reason stores like Abercrombie and Fitch or Banana Republic can charge what they do is because people pay the prices. If no one shopped there, you can damn well bet the prices would be much lower.
How does this effect the big picture? Think about it for a minute. Why do you suppose so many young people are looking for a way to make money quickly? Why do you think teenagers look down their noses at jobs that pay minimum wage? There's a culture in our society now that says that to be successful you must wear Item A and own Item B. To fit in with the people who matter you have to look one way, act one way, smell one way.....and the majority of people don't even question it.
My husband has three pairs of Doc Martin boots, several designer lable shirts and jeans and I have a few myself. You want to know where I got them? At the used clothing store. I paid no more than $5.00 for each piece in the closet.
We talk a lot in todays world about how to make things better for the people who don't make that much. How about simply making it so that everyone can afford to live? Stop paying for the $300 shoes and the $40,000 cars. If no one bought them....
The next time you go shopping and you reach for something, stop a moment and think about what you're buying and how much you're paying for it. Think about why you're buying that particular brand. Maybe if more of us start thinking about the little things we do everyday we can bring a larger sense of social conscieness back into our world.
8.16.2007
The Mayo Clinic and You: What Are You and Your Family Dying of Today?
The Mayo Clinic Website has this handy little symptom checker so you can go online and find out if the symptoms you, your spouse or your children are suffering from are serious.
A little information is a dangerous thing my friends. Go play with this thing for a while. Pick a symptom, any symptom and then chose some things. It gives you a list of matching illnesses ranging from the mundane to the OH MY GOD I'M DYING!!!
Here's the problem with this thing. There are a lot of people out there that aren't going to notice that the list of accompanying symptoms that go with the illnesses listed are MANY and that the ones you choose are in bold face type. If only one or two of these is in bold, chances are you don't have that...if all of them are in bold, well then, okay you can panic.
Seriously fun though. Go ahead and see how many different ways you can kill off you and yours. So far I've had about fifteen serious life threatening illnesses. Good times!!!
A little information is a dangerous thing my friends. Go play with this thing for a while. Pick a symptom, any symptom and then chose some things. It gives you a list of matching illnesses ranging from the mundane to the OH MY GOD I'M DYING!!!
Here's the problem with this thing. There are a lot of people out there that aren't going to notice that the list of accompanying symptoms that go with the illnesses listed are MANY and that the ones you choose are in bold face type. If only one or two of these is in bold, chances are you don't have that...if all of them are in bold, well then, okay you can panic.
Seriously fun though. Go ahead and see how many different ways you can kill off you and yours. So far I've had about fifteen serious life threatening illnesses. Good times!!!
Whine Whine Whine
I was watching television the other day when all of a sudden I was looking at the face of this little bald headed girl. There was a voice over begging me to send money to help keep her alive. Cancer, of course.
I'm so tired of all the articles I see and the non-profits begging for my money. I mean seriously, who cares if you have cancer or diabetes or lupus or any of the other fifty thousand "life threatening" illness that seem to plague our country.
I don't know these people, but someone really needs to tell them that everyone has problems and we really don't give a damn about theirs. I don't want to have to look at any more coffee cans in convenience stores with badly photocopied pictures taped to them, a sob story scrawled out in some family members shaky handwriting, "Bob is dying. He has three kids. Won't you help?"
Who cares? Jesus, suck it up. Move on with your life. Get over yourself.
By this point I'm sure that anyone reading this is either waiting for the punchline or so pissed off they can't see straight. Furiously composing scathing replies to my callous treatment of those in our society afflicted with life threatening illnesses.
I would never speak that way to or about someone with any of those illnesses. Yet I receive that same treatment from society on a regular basis. I have Bipolar Disorder and because my illness doesn't come with a tumor, a disfiguring surgery or a string of sympathy inducing commercials I hear, "Well it's not really that big a deal, is it?" or "Just get over it. It's all in your head anyway."
I can't get health insurance that will cover the cost of treatment or medications. I'm not eligible for protection under FMLA should I have a serious episode that causes missed work. My medications cost over $400 a month out of pocket so I have to buy a month, ration it to make it last for three and then buy it again. This means I can't function the way I would if I were treated properly, but because I have the medication I don't qualify for benefits like disability.
I wish that mental illness came with some hideous physical side effect, something that would make it obvious to those of you in society that don't live with it what it is and that it's real. I wish I could find the words to describe what real depression is like.
Everyone gets funked out sometimes. We all have crappy days at work or fights with our families and friends and sometimes the stress of life just weighs on us and we feel down. That passes. I'm talking about being trapped inside your own mind. Hearing your own voice in your head telling you to get up...move...do something..anything....and not being able to respond. I'm talking about staring down at a bottle of pills and thinking, for even a brief moment, that if you swallowed them you'd just drift off to sleep and never have to feel this way again.
I watch the news and I see the stories about mothers killing their own children and I feel a terror grip my heart. I know what it feels like to be so mired in darkness that the world seems hopeless. I know how it feels to want to die because you can't see a clear path through. And I know that if those women had access to reliable and affordable care for their problems and support from society, the tragedies could have been avoided.
With Bipolar you get the upswings too and everyone thinks you're the life of the party. They don't see the other side of it. Days without sleep. Outbursts of irrational and uncontrolled anger. Impulse control issues that can lead to risky behavior. Embarrassment because when it's all over you know you've said or done something that has upset or hurt someone else and they expect you to apologize. So you apologize and you feel humiliated. And you know it won't be the last time.
And the whole time you're watching yourself, like a bad movie you can't shut off. You're screaming inside because you want it to stop, but you can't make it go away. So you look at that bottle of pills again and you pray. You pray for the strength to get up tomorrow. You pray for the strength to take that next breath. You pray that tomorrow will be a "good" day.
And you smile. You smile so the people around you won't have to struggle to find something to say to you. You smile so no one will look at you like your defective. You smile so everyone will think your "normal"...because, after all.....it's only in your head, right?
I'm so tired of all the articles I see and the non-profits begging for my money. I mean seriously, who cares if you have cancer or diabetes or lupus or any of the other fifty thousand "life threatening" illness that seem to plague our country.
I don't know these people, but someone really needs to tell them that everyone has problems and we really don't give a damn about theirs. I don't want to have to look at any more coffee cans in convenience stores with badly photocopied pictures taped to them, a sob story scrawled out in some family members shaky handwriting, "Bob is dying. He has three kids. Won't you help?"
Who cares? Jesus, suck it up. Move on with your life. Get over yourself.
By this point I'm sure that anyone reading this is either waiting for the punchline or so pissed off they can't see straight. Furiously composing scathing replies to my callous treatment of those in our society afflicted with life threatening illnesses.
I would never speak that way to or about someone with any of those illnesses. Yet I receive that same treatment from society on a regular basis. I have Bipolar Disorder and because my illness doesn't come with a tumor, a disfiguring surgery or a string of sympathy inducing commercials I hear, "Well it's not really that big a deal, is it?" or "Just get over it. It's all in your head anyway."
I can't get health insurance that will cover the cost of treatment or medications. I'm not eligible for protection under FMLA should I have a serious episode that causes missed work. My medications cost over $400 a month out of pocket so I have to buy a month, ration it to make it last for three and then buy it again. This means I can't function the way I would if I were treated properly, but because I have the medication I don't qualify for benefits like disability.
I wish that mental illness came with some hideous physical side effect, something that would make it obvious to those of you in society that don't live with it what it is and that it's real. I wish I could find the words to describe what real depression is like.
Everyone gets funked out sometimes. We all have crappy days at work or fights with our families and friends and sometimes the stress of life just weighs on us and we feel down. That passes. I'm talking about being trapped inside your own mind. Hearing your own voice in your head telling you to get up...move...do something..anything....and not being able to respond. I'm talking about staring down at a bottle of pills and thinking, for even a brief moment, that if you swallowed them you'd just drift off to sleep and never have to feel this way again.
I watch the news and I see the stories about mothers killing their own children and I feel a terror grip my heart. I know what it feels like to be so mired in darkness that the world seems hopeless. I know how it feels to want to die because you can't see a clear path through. And I know that if those women had access to reliable and affordable care for their problems and support from society, the tragedies could have been avoided.
With Bipolar you get the upswings too and everyone thinks you're the life of the party. They don't see the other side of it. Days without sleep. Outbursts of irrational and uncontrolled anger. Impulse control issues that can lead to risky behavior. Embarrassment because when it's all over you know you've said or done something that has upset or hurt someone else and they expect you to apologize. So you apologize and you feel humiliated. And you know it won't be the last time.
And the whole time you're watching yourself, like a bad movie you can't shut off. You're screaming inside because you want it to stop, but you can't make it go away. So you look at that bottle of pills again and you pray. You pray for the strength to get up tomorrow. You pray for the strength to take that next breath. You pray that tomorrow will be a "good" day.
And you smile. You smile so the people around you won't have to struggle to find something to say to you. You smile so no one will look at you like your defective. You smile so everyone will think your "normal"...because, after all.....it's only in your head, right?
7.18.2007
Two Whole Weeks....
I bet ya thought I died and went to Blogger Heaven, huh?
Nothing quite so terrible. I've just been, well, for lack of a better word, sad. And more than a little distracted. And a lot scatter brained. And a whole list of other things that have long names and medications to go along with them. None of which are contagious.
This would be one of those times my therapist would accuse me of using humor to deflect the real issue. To which I say: Damn Straight! At least I'm not drunk and dancing on the bar of the local biker hang out. (Hey, don't laugh, that happened once. I made $800 bucks)
Anyway, I'm back and mostly in place. Next time I promise to leave a forwarding address.
Nothing quite so terrible. I've just been, well, for lack of a better word, sad. And more than a little distracted. And a lot scatter brained. And a whole list of other things that have long names and medications to go along with them. None of which are contagious.
This would be one of those times my therapist would accuse me of using humor to deflect the real issue. To which I say: Damn Straight! At least I'm not drunk and dancing on the bar of the local biker hang out. (Hey, don't laugh, that happened once. I made $800 bucks)
Anyway, I'm back and mostly in place. Next time I promise to leave a forwarding address.
7.04.2007
Silence Can Be Golden
Every time I go to send an email, or leave a small comment something stops me. I've decided to listen to that little voice that's whispering in my ear. I've written three carefully worded emails and started countless comments and each one has ended up in the "delete" box.
The lesson I've learned from this experience is simple. Sometimes you don't have to say anything. Sometimes it's okay to just disagree silently. The issue that I was having a problem with wasn't earth shattering and after I thought about it for a while I decided that because it was an issue based mostly in emotion my saying something would create tension and possibly ruin a friendship I have come to treasure. I decided that saying my piece wasn't as important as keeping that friend. It was a good feeling.
This experience has been a unique one for me. It showed me that those times when I chose to step forward and make my opinions known I really am doing it for a reason and not just to hear myself talk.
I guess you could call that maturity. Who would have guessed?
The lesson I've learned from this experience is simple. Sometimes you don't have to say anything. Sometimes it's okay to just disagree silently. The issue that I was having a problem with wasn't earth shattering and after I thought about it for a while I decided that because it was an issue based mostly in emotion my saying something would create tension and possibly ruin a friendship I have come to treasure. I decided that saying my piece wasn't as important as keeping that friend. It was a good feeling.
This experience has been a unique one for me. It showed me that those times when I chose to step forward and make my opinions known I really am doing it for a reason and not just to hear myself talk.
I guess you could call that maturity. Who would have guessed?
7.02.2007
To snipe or not to snipe.....that is the question.
Have you ever been faced with a situation where you wanted to say something but everytime you tried it came out blundered and somewhat addled? I find myself in that very situation. Mostly this is because the comment that set me off was made by someone I respect and what I want to say I want to say without sounding condesending or snide, both of which I have been accused of doing on more than one occassion.
I started to leave comments several times and then stopped because the comments were either to abbreviated to make the point as clearly as I wanted or to long to be polite. So then I slept on it. This morning I sat down and typed out a nice long email, which I promptly decided would be taken as a chastisment and so I saved it as a draft, but did not send it because I do not want this person to think I am chastising them....although I suppose I am in a way.
This is an odd place for me to be in folks. I'm a very shoot from the hip kind of girl. Remember, I'm the woman that publically lambasted a total stranger for not watching her child closely enough. Is this maturity? Is this concern for anothers feelings? Or am I just being a wuss? Have I suddenly turned wuss-like? Did someone slip something into my Cheerios this morning? What the hell has happened to me?
I'm going to have to go back and mull this over. I'll get back to you with the resolution.
I started to leave comments several times and then stopped because the comments were either to abbreviated to make the point as clearly as I wanted or to long to be polite. So then I slept on it. This morning I sat down and typed out a nice long email, which I promptly decided would be taken as a chastisment and so I saved it as a draft, but did not send it because I do not want this person to think I am chastising them....although I suppose I am in a way.
This is an odd place for me to be in folks. I'm a very shoot from the hip kind of girl. Remember, I'm the woman that publically lambasted a total stranger for not watching her child closely enough. Is this maturity? Is this concern for anothers feelings? Or am I just being a wuss? Have I suddenly turned wuss-like? Did someone slip something into my Cheerios this morning? What the hell has happened to me?
I'm going to have to go back and mull this over. I'll get back to you with the resolution.
7.01.2007
Because sometimes, even your crack needs a little help....
This has been a long, trying weekend. I needed just one really good laugh. I got it.
And now, I'm going to share it with you.
Yes, it's a real product. And it's just one more example of why every product name should be passed by a panel of 13 year old boys first. If they laugh it's time to change the name.
And now, I'm going to share it with you.
Yes, it's a real product. And it's just one more example of why every product name should be passed by a panel of 13 year old boys first. If they laugh it's time to change the name.
6.29.2007
The Seperation of Church and State
As I did my morning reading I caught a piece over at C.U.S.S that made me start to think. Before you read this post, please pop over and read the one that inspired it:
The Blind Scalias of Justice
After reading the post I opened the comment window and began to type. When I reached my third paragraph I decided what I had to say was better done here so as not to clog the comment section with ramblings.
I agree that the men and women who are appointed to our courts are not always fair and impartial as they are supposed to be by law. I also think that that is to be expected. I do not know a single human being who does not make decisions and judgements based on their beliefs. We all do it whether we are Christian or not. I do think that the men and women appointed to our highest court tend to represent our Presidents mindset. I think that this is something that needs to be changed. In fact, I'm pretty much of the belief that if our government doesn't get a complete overhaul soon we're going to end up in the middle of our very own Second Civil War within the next twenty to fifty years....but that's a different post.
The topic that brings us here today my friends is the so called "separation of church and state" that supposedly appears in our Constitution. This is a debate that has been raging for as long as I can remember and until very recently I was on the "it's in the Constitution" side. And then I actually ran into someone who had made it part of their life's work to study the Constitution and it's framers and let me tell you , I got schooled.
Simple Fact Number 1: The phrase "Separation of Church and State" does not appear anywhere in our Constitution. It is not in the main text. It is not in the Bill of Rights. It simply isn't there.
Simple Fact Number 2: The founding fathers of this country were not trying to prevent a theocracy. They were trying to ensure that the people of this country would have the freedom to choose whatever religion they wanted.
If you read the First Amendment the wording is fairly clear:
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Now a lot of you are immediately going to go for my jugular, "It's right there Serena, it says : Congress shall make NO LAW..." And you would be right, but read it....really read it. It says that Congress won't make any laws with respect to the ESTABLISHMENT of religion or laws that would prohibit the free exercise of that religion. It does not say that Congress will define a clear line between the government and any religion.
When we get all bent out of shape because some conservative twit has done something stupid, we have to remember, he or she isn't breaking any laws. They are just being a twit. If we get angry because some asshole has tried to get a law passed that will infringe upon our basic rights, we need to stop blaming religion and start fighting back.
It's important to remember that every time we rage about "those damn Christians" they aren't the only religious group seeking and receiving preferential treatment from the government. Right now they are the loudest, but they aren't the first and they won't be the last. Even Atheists aren't above running to the courts to ask them to intervene.
Should government be separate from religion? Hell yes. Religion muddies the waters. It taints rational decisions with the murk of morality. Will it ever happen? Not until people learn to accept the flaws inherent in themselves. The search for "moral perfection" and the need to push that on others comes from the basic drive in the human species, the need to explain away the ugly and evil things that happen.
When we were cavemen it was the lightening in the sky and the sound of thunder that needed an explanation. Today it's child molesters, mother's who kill their own children, war that kills thousands, drugs that eat our children alive. People need an explanation for these things and God and the Devil provide a way to explain it. Looking inward and pointing that moral finger at ourselves would be to painful. Our society isn't ready for it yet. And so they thump their Bibles much like cavemen thumped their chests. The next time you hear that thump coming your way, stand up and thump back.
EDIT:
Below is a link to a page on the Library of Congress website. Here you will find the text of Jefferson's Letter to the Danbury Baptists. This letter contains in it the phrase "separation of church and state" and has been used to help set the precedent that is used today when a person or group has an issue that involves religion. When atheist groups sue to have social groups removed from schools based on religious function, when Jehovah's Witnesses sue to prevent teachers leading classes in the Pledge of Allegiance because it violates their religious code, when American Indians want the right to follow age old religious traditions that violate current Federal or State laws, when Christians sue to keep the ten commandments on display in a clearly secular setting. In any case where a person or group feels a local, state of federal agency has overstepped it's bounds, this is the document that has been held up to establish that our founding fathers did indeed intend a clear and lasting division between the two:
Jefferson's Letter to the Danbury Baptists
I've read this document before and did not mention it because I don't feel that it really fit the topic at hand. Jefferson clearly upholds the idea that our government should not be allowed to interfere in the establishment of a religion or the practice of a persons chosen religion, but does it say clearly that all of the founding fathers, and not Jefferson alone, felt that the men and women in our government should never use their own moral and ethical values as a guiding compass?
Where does that line blur? Would it be okay if the decisions being made matched more closely with the opinions you held? Would the religious beliefs of the person making those decisions then become less of an issue? Exactly how do you separate religion from government completely?
The Blind Scalias of Justice
After reading the post I opened the comment window and began to type. When I reached my third paragraph I decided what I had to say was better done here so as not to clog the comment section with ramblings.
I agree that the men and women who are appointed to our courts are not always fair and impartial as they are supposed to be by law. I also think that that is to be expected. I do not know a single human being who does not make decisions and judgements based on their beliefs. We all do it whether we are Christian or not. I do think that the men and women appointed to our highest court tend to represent our Presidents mindset. I think that this is something that needs to be changed. In fact, I'm pretty much of the belief that if our government doesn't get a complete overhaul soon we're going to end up in the middle of our very own Second Civil War within the next twenty to fifty years....but that's a different post.
The topic that brings us here today my friends is the so called "separation of church and state" that supposedly appears in our Constitution. This is a debate that has been raging for as long as I can remember and until very recently I was on the "it's in the Constitution" side. And then I actually ran into someone who had made it part of their life's work to study the Constitution and it's framers and let me tell you , I got schooled.
Simple Fact Number 1: The phrase "Separation of Church and State" does not appear anywhere in our Constitution. It is not in the main text. It is not in the Bill of Rights. It simply isn't there.
Simple Fact Number 2: The founding fathers of this country were not trying to prevent a theocracy. They were trying to ensure that the people of this country would have the freedom to choose whatever religion they wanted.
If you read the First Amendment the wording is fairly clear:
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Now a lot of you are immediately going to go for my jugular, "It's right there Serena, it says : Congress shall make NO LAW..." And you would be right, but read it....really read it. It says that Congress won't make any laws with respect to the ESTABLISHMENT of religion or laws that would prohibit the free exercise of that religion. It does not say that Congress will define a clear line between the government and any religion.
When we get all bent out of shape because some conservative twit has done something stupid, we have to remember, he or she isn't breaking any laws. They are just being a twit. If we get angry because some asshole has tried to get a law passed that will infringe upon our basic rights, we need to stop blaming religion and start fighting back.
It's important to remember that every time we rage about "those damn Christians" they aren't the only religious group seeking and receiving preferential treatment from the government. Right now they are the loudest, but they aren't the first and they won't be the last. Even Atheists aren't above running to the courts to ask them to intervene.
Should government be separate from religion? Hell yes. Religion muddies the waters. It taints rational decisions with the murk of morality. Will it ever happen? Not until people learn to accept the flaws inherent in themselves. The search for "moral perfection" and the need to push that on others comes from the basic drive in the human species, the need to explain away the ugly and evil things that happen.
When we were cavemen it was the lightening in the sky and the sound of thunder that needed an explanation. Today it's child molesters, mother's who kill their own children, war that kills thousands, drugs that eat our children alive. People need an explanation for these things and God and the Devil provide a way to explain it. Looking inward and pointing that moral finger at ourselves would be to painful. Our society isn't ready for it yet. And so they thump their Bibles much like cavemen thumped their chests. The next time you hear that thump coming your way, stand up and thump back.
EDIT:
Below is a link to a page on the Library of Congress website. Here you will find the text of Jefferson's Letter to the Danbury Baptists. This letter contains in it the phrase "separation of church and state" and has been used to help set the precedent that is used today when a person or group has an issue that involves religion. When atheist groups sue to have social groups removed from schools based on religious function, when Jehovah's Witnesses sue to prevent teachers leading classes in the Pledge of Allegiance because it violates their religious code, when American Indians want the right to follow age old religious traditions that violate current Federal or State laws, when Christians sue to keep the ten commandments on display in a clearly secular setting. In any case where a person or group feels a local, state of federal agency has overstepped it's bounds, this is the document that has been held up to establish that our founding fathers did indeed intend a clear and lasting division between the two:
Jefferson's Letter to the Danbury Baptists
I've read this document before and did not mention it because I don't feel that it really fit the topic at hand. Jefferson clearly upholds the idea that our government should not be allowed to interfere in the establishment of a religion or the practice of a persons chosen religion, but does it say clearly that all of the founding fathers, and not Jefferson alone, felt that the men and women in our government should never use their own moral and ethical values as a guiding compass?
Where does that line blur? Would it be okay if the decisions being made matched more closely with the opinions you held? Would the religious beliefs of the person making those decisions then become less of an issue? Exactly how do you separate religion from government completely?
6.27.2007
Sometimes I'm simply stunned by the sheer lack of knowledge (I'm trying to be less of a bitch) that I encounter in my everyday life. Today was one of those days.
I had to get groceries today so off to Wal-Mart I went. My bill came to $62.00 and some change so I handed the girl behind the counter a $100 dollar bill. She got a very confused look on her face. She looked down at her counter. She held the bill up to the light. She looked down at her counter again. She held the bill up to the light again. She turned to the cashier next to her and said, "What should I do? I don't see the little security strip? I don't have one of those marker thingies."
At this point I said, "If it's going to be that big of a deal I can give you a newer bill, one with the BIG face on it."
She turned back around, looking very relieved and handed me the bill back....and then she actually thanked me. I handed her a bill with the large, off center face of Benjamin Franklin on it. She didn't try to find her little pen, she didn't check for the security strip, she simply put the bill in her drawer and gave me the change. All because it had the BIG face on it.
I couldn't help myself, as I was leaving I said, "You know hun, they did actually make money BEFORE the year 2005." I don't think she appreciated my humor.
All of this confusion was caused by a $100 dollar bill minted in 1985 which I was given by my bank last Friday. I will be exchanging it tomorrow lest I give some poor unsuspecting cashier an aneurysm.
I had to get groceries today so off to Wal-Mart I went. My bill came to $62.00 and some change so I handed the girl behind the counter a $100 dollar bill. She got a very confused look on her face. She looked down at her counter. She held the bill up to the light. She looked down at her counter again. She held the bill up to the light again. She turned to the cashier next to her and said, "What should I do? I don't see the little security strip? I don't have one of those marker thingies."
At this point I said, "If it's going to be that big of a deal I can give you a newer bill, one with the BIG face on it."
She turned back around, looking very relieved and handed me the bill back....and then she actually thanked me. I handed her a bill with the large, off center face of Benjamin Franklin on it. She didn't try to find her little pen, she didn't check for the security strip, she simply put the bill in her drawer and gave me the change. All because it had the BIG face on it.
I couldn't help myself, as I was leaving I said, "You know hun, they did actually make money BEFORE the year 2005." I don't think she appreciated my humor.
All of this confusion was caused by a $100 dollar bill minted in 1985 which I was given by my bank last Friday. I will be exchanging it tomorrow lest I give some poor unsuspecting cashier an aneurysm.
6.25.2007
Bitch...Unleashed (part II)
So, having enjoyed 1408 and feeling in the mood for some shopping we proceed out into the sunny glow of capitalism that is a Saturday at an outdoor mall. We head to Anthropologie because they have the best lotions and perfumes. (Please see post where I confess to being obsessed with all things lotion and skin related....) I got these wonderful little perfume solids from crazy libellule and the poppies .
Content with my purchases I leave the store to find Stehpanie standing outside waiting for me and I notice a small child sitting on the sidewalk in front of Buckle. No parent in sight. Stephanie mentions that she's been watching this child for five minutes and has yet to see a parent. I start looking around and I notice a blond woman inside the store. I ask the child if that is her mommy. The child replies that yes, it is indeed her mother. At this point I can feel my dander rising. I go and stand next to the child and look at the woman. She eventually makes eye contact with me, looks at the child and then......she goes back to shopping! I'm dumbfounded. I continue to stand there thinking that perhaps this bleach bottle blond just hasn't processed the information yet. She looks at me again. Again we make eye contact. Again she looks at her child. And AGAIN she goes back to shopping. This time she actually walks all the way to the back of the store and into the dressing rooms to look at herself in the mirror. At this point I get pissed.
I turn to Stephanie and I say, "Watch this child please," and I step into the store. The over tanned, underfed wonder mom sees me coming and she stops. We lock eyes. I say, "Excuse me, is that your child on the sidewalk outside?" She pulls a face and says, "That's none of your business." I cock my head to the side and say, "Yes, actually it is. Do you have any idea how easy it would be for someone to just walk off with her?"
Now she's pissed off. She slaps her well manicured hands onto her boney ass hips and snaps, "It's none of your fucking business and besides, my daughter is watching her." I smile evenly and reply, "Would this be the same daughter that is standing next to you inside the store watching you try on clothes?" There is a sharp intake of breath and said teenage daughter says, "Chill out would you?" This does not help calm me down. We have attracted the attention of everyone in the store and several people on the sidewalk. She looks angry and embarrassed. I say, "You need to watch your child or you're going to end up being one of those families on the evening news crying for your child back. If you won't go get her off that sidewalk, I'll go find a police officer and you can explain it to him." Her stunning reply? "Why don't you find something better to do with your time, like eat a cheeseburger?" This is obviously a comment aimed at my weight, because apparently she believes everyone in the world is as shallow as she is. I smile and say, "Why don't you try watching your children instead of getting a tan?" and walked off to find a police officer.
I located a mall security officer and had him get me a Salt Lake City police officer. I made a report and he returned to the store. I would have loved to have been there when he showed up.
Later that day I had a thought, "One of these days I'm going to get punched." I'd do it again though.
Content with my purchases I leave the store to find Stehpanie standing outside waiting for me and I notice a small child sitting on the sidewalk in front of Buckle. No parent in sight. Stephanie mentions that she's been watching this child for five minutes and has yet to see a parent. I start looking around and I notice a blond woman inside the store. I ask the child if that is her mommy. The child replies that yes, it is indeed her mother. At this point I can feel my dander rising. I go and stand next to the child and look at the woman. She eventually makes eye contact with me, looks at the child and then......she goes back to shopping! I'm dumbfounded. I continue to stand there thinking that perhaps this bleach bottle blond just hasn't processed the information yet. She looks at me again. Again we make eye contact. Again she looks at her child. And AGAIN she goes back to shopping. This time she actually walks all the way to the back of the store and into the dressing rooms to look at herself in the mirror. At this point I get pissed.
I turn to Stephanie and I say, "Watch this child please," and I step into the store. The over tanned, underfed wonder mom sees me coming and she stops. We lock eyes. I say, "Excuse me, is that your child on the sidewalk outside?" She pulls a face and says, "That's none of your business." I cock my head to the side and say, "Yes, actually it is. Do you have any idea how easy it would be for someone to just walk off with her?"
Now she's pissed off. She slaps her well manicured hands onto her boney ass hips and snaps, "It's none of your fucking business and besides, my daughter is watching her." I smile evenly and reply, "Would this be the same daughter that is standing next to you inside the store watching you try on clothes?" There is a sharp intake of breath and said teenage daughter says, "Chill out would you?" This does not help calm me down. We have attracted the attention of everyone in the store and several people on the sidewalk. She looks angry and embarrassed. I say, "You need to watch your child or you're going to end up being one of those families on the evening news crying for your child back. If you won't go get her off that sidewalk, I'll go find a police officer and you can explain it to him." Her stunning reply? "Why don't you find something better to do with your time, like eat a cheeseburger?" This is obviously a comment aimed at my weight, because apparently she believes everyone in the world is as shallow as she is. I smile and say, "Why don't you try watching your children instead of getting a tan?" and walked off to find a police officer.
I located a mall security officer and had him get me a Salt Lake City police officer. I made a report and he returned to the store. I would have loved to have been there when he showed up.
Later that day I had a thought, "One of these days I'm going to get punched." I'd do it again though.
Bitch....Unleashed
Common courtesy has died a slow and painful death in our society.
I went to a movie on Saturday with Stephanie. The theater makes you purchase reserved seats like you would at a concert. I can understand the point behind this. It makes it handy if you purchase online for a night out with the family or purchase a head of time for a major release, like the upcoming Harry Potter. You get to pick where in the theater you want to sit and you know you and your date/family are guarenteed seats without hassle.
So Stephanie and I pick our seats, get our goodies and go in and sit in our reserved type seating. Behind us are three women. I noticed them because they were giggling. Well, not so much because they were giggling, but because they were old enough to be my mother and they were giggling loud enough to be my teenage daughter. Just before the movie starts a young couple (early teens, late twenties) walks into their aisle. The young woman says, "I'm sorry, but I think you might be sitting in our seats." She was very polite. She kept her voice low, trying not to embarass the other women. One of the ladies looks up, laughs and says, "Yeah, well there were people sitting in our seats so we just took these." She and her companions made no attempt to move. The young woman got upset and left. She didn't do anything to claim her seats. At this point, I turned around, looked directly at the three women and said, " You would think some people would be old enough to know better. I mean you expect that kind of behavior from teenagers, but from grown women? Common courtesy really has died a slow, painful death in our society, hasn't it?" The women laughed nervously, but the noise level in the row died down and they started fidgeting and looking around.
I felt a great sense of satisfaction.
Stay tuned for Bitch...Unleashed, part II (oh yes, it gets better....)
I went to a movie on Saturday with Stephanie. The theater makes you purchase reserved seats like you would at a concert. I can understand the point behind this. It makes it handy if you purchase online for a night out with the family or purchase a head of time for a major release, like the upcoming Harry Potter. You get to pick where in the theater you want to sit and you know you and your date/family are guarenteed seats without hassle.
So Stephanie and I pick our seats, get our goodies and go in and sit in our reserved type seating. Behind us are three women. I noticed them because they were giggling. Well, not so much because they were giggling, but because they were old enough to be my mother and they were giggling loud enough to be my teenage daughter. Just before the movie starts a young couple (early teens, late twenties) walks into their aisle. The young woman says, "I'm sorry, but I think you might be sitting in our seats." She was very polite. She kept her voice low, trying not to embarass the other women. One of the ladies looks up, laughs and says, "Yeah, well there were people sitting in our seats so we just took these." She and her companions made no attempt to move. The young woman got upset and left. She didn't do anything to claim her seats. At this point, I turned around, looked directly at the three women and said, " You would think some people would be old enough to know better. I mean you expect that kind of behavior from teenagers, but from grown women? Common courtesy really has died a slow, painful death in our society, hasn't it?" The women laughed nervously, but the noise level in the row died down and they started fidgeting and looking around.
I felt a great sense of satisfaction.
Stay tuned for Bitch...Unleashed, part II (oh yes, it gets better....)
6.22.2007
Big article out today about doctors refusing care to women based on their personal belief systems. The article has, at one point, a headline which reads:
"An ethical dilemma"
In this portion of the article we meet Sandy Christiansen, M.D., an ob/gyn in Frederick, Maryland. She says that providing services that are legal, like abortion referrals, EC and even birth control cause an "ethics problem" for her. She says that, "Doctors are people, too," she adds. "We have to be able to leave the hospital and live with ourselves. If you feel in your heart an action would cause harm to somebody — born or unborn — it's legitimate to decline to participate."
Here's what I have to say to that. If you feel that you're a "christian" doctor, then you need to advertise yourself as such. You need to tell your patients up front that if they come to you they had better be on the same moral footing as you, believe the same things as you and be living the perfect little Christian life that you seem to be saying you're living.
When you simply hang out a shingle that says OB/GYN on it and allow any woman to make an appointment, regardless of what her beliefs might be, she has the right to expect she will receive access to all legal medical options allowed her in this country, including the ones that don't jive with your self-righteous mind-set. You want to ride the high moral tide? Great! Then your ad in the yellow pages better read something like this:
"Christian OB/GYN. Will not give patients access to most modern procedures. Believes self to be above reproach and has developed a God complex that allows self to make moral judgements of others that will govern the standard of care they receive. Those of questionable moral fiber need not call for appointments. This includes, but is not limited to: lesbians, single mothers, sexually active teenagers, rape victims, victims of incest, women with piercings in places I may find disgusting, women with oddly colored hair, and women of other religions. We are taking new patients. Mary, Mother of Christ always welcome. Mary Magdalene need not apply."
There's a difference between ethics and morality. The ethics of a given profession are there to ensure that those of us who rely on the people practicing that profession get a high standard of care. Morals are the code each individual person lives by. If you can't seperate the two then you need to build yourself a time machine and haul your June Cleaver ass back to the 1950's.
I believe in a higher power. I also believe that when people like this pass into the next life they will find a seriously pissed of version of said higher power waiting for them with one question: "What exactly was it that you thought you were doing?" It gives me some measure of comfort knowing that for every tiny minded individual like this one there is a higher force waiting to judge them....and the retribution will be Divine.
"An ethical dilemma"
In this portion of the article we meet Sandy Christiansen, M.D., an ob/gyn in Frederick, Maryland. She says that providing services that are legal, like abortion referrals, EC and even birth control cause an "ethics problem" for her. She says that, "Doctors are people, too," she adds. "We have to be able to leave the hospital and live with ourselves. If you feel in your heart an action would cause harm to somebody — born or unborn — it's legitimate to decline to participate."
Here's what I have to say to that. If you feel that you're a "christian" doctor, then you need to advertise yourself as such. You need to tell your patients up front that if they come to you they had better be on the same moral footing as you, believe the same things as you and be living the perfect little Christian life that you seem to be saying you're living.
When you simply hang out a shingle that says OB/GYN on it and allow any woman to make an appointment, regardless of what her beliefs might be, she has the right to expect she will receive access to all legal medical options allowed her in this country, including the ones that don't jive with your self-righteous mind-set. You want to ride the high moral tide? Great! Then your ad in the yellow pages better read something like this:
"Christian OB/GYN. Will not give patients access to most modern procedures. Believes self to be above reproach and has developed a God complex that allows self to make moral judgements of others that will govern the standard of care they receive. Those of questionable moral fiber need not call for appointments. This includes, but is not limited to: lesbians, single mothers, sexually active teenagers, rape victims, victims of incest, women with piercings in places I may find disgusting, women with oddly colored hair, and women of other religions. We are taking new patients. Mary, Mother of Christ always welcome. Mary Magdalene need not apply."
There's a difference between ethics and morality. The ethics of a given profession are there to ensure that those of us who rely on the people practicing that profession get a high standard of care. Morals are the code each individual person lives by. If you can't seperate the two then you need to build yourself a time machine and haul your June Cleaver ass back to the 1950's.
I believe in a higher power. I also believe that when people like this pass into the next life they will find a seriously pissed of version of said higher power waiting for them with one question: "What exactly was it that you thought you were doing?" It gives me some measure of comfort knowing that for every tiny minded individual like this one there is a higher force waiting to judge them....and the retribution will be Divine.
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