Have you ever been faced with a situation where you wanted to say something but everytime you tried it came out blundered and somewhat addled? I find myself in that very situation. Mostly this is because the comment that set me off was made by someone I respect and what I want to say I want to say without sounding condesending or snide, both of which I have been accused of doing on more than one occassion.
I started to leave comments several times and then stopped because the comments were either to abbreviated to make the point as clearly as I wanted or to long to be polite. So then I slept on it. This morning I sat down and typed out a nice long email, which I promptly decided would be taken as a chastisment and so I saved it as a draft, but did not send it because I do not want this person to think I am chastising them....although I suppose I am in a way.
This is an odd place for me to be in folks. I'm a very shoot from the hip kind of girl. Remember, I'm the woman that publically lambasted a total stranger for not watching her child closely enough. Is this maturity? Is this concern for anothers feelings? Or am I just being a wuss? Have I suddenly turned wuss-like? Did someone slip something into my Cheerios this morning? What the hell has happened to me?
I'm going to have to go back and mull this over. I'll get back to you with the resolution.
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5 comments:
Unsolicited advice:
preface the email with your feelings about respect and not wanting to chastise and what ever. If they can't understand that, then they deserve to be chastised.
I agree with Des. Sometimes people also appreciate honest criticism.
I'm, of course, dying for the back story here, but I will try very hard not to pry. I have been in a similar situation so many times. Good luck with it!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the email is addressed to me, yes? I'm guessing that based on the fact that you care how the intended receiver of said message will react to it. If it were for a stranger or an acquaintance you wouldn't care as much.
If so I know what it's about, I think, and you may as well just send it. A possible argument will not terminate our friendship, they never have before and we've had a couple. You should know me well enough by now that I may get pissed and have something to say back but I can handle whatever it is you feel you need to say to me.
If it is to me and it is what I think it is about I will most likely have information to add that was not in the post that would better explain my feelings yesterday and may defuse how you're feeling about what I said. But I won't know that for certain until I see the message.
And if it's not for me, then just soften up anything that you think may be too harsh and send it, with explanation of why you're feeling that way, of course. If they don't know you well enough to not hate you for speaking your mind you don't need them in your life anyway. Or something like that.
I hope you've been able to resolve your dilemma...you're being very thoughtful, and I'm sure the person you speak to will understand.
Oh yeah, and I just wanted to let you know that I gave you an award!
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