8.26.2005

Having forgotten something Very Important, Alice sits down to think.....

Have you ever had one of those days when you think, " This is not the person I was going to be when I grew up." ? One of those days when you look in the mirror and you're greeted by the face of a person you don't actually recognize? Someone that looks vaguely like you, but somehow manages to come up more as a shadow?

I've been feeling like that more and more lately. The person in my mirror just isn't me. I'm not sure who she is, but she's not the the person I started out to be. The person I keep seeing everything I brush my hair or floss my teeth is beginning to look a little tired, and well, old.

I never wanted to be old. In fact I'm fairly certain that when I was about 16 I decided I wasn't going to get old. Of course, when I was 16 I also decided to dye my hair purple and swore I would never have children....I now have two...So maybe she isn't the best me to take advice from, you think?

Still, I have this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something Very Important. I've gotten so bogged down with dead end jobs, and bills to pay and smiling even when I don't want to , that I've forgotten something I'm sure I should be able to remember. I'm beginning to feel like Alice just tumbling through the looking glass, " Curiouser and Curiouser....."