5.17.2007

The Awesomeness that is My Readers!!!

Once upon a time I stumbled upon a little tool that told me how much my blog was worth. It came back with a sad, but not unexpected, $0.00. I posted this piece of information, finding it humorous.

Today, I was reading over at des's place and she had the same nifty little thing posted. I thought to my self, "Hmm...I wonder if I'm still worth $0.00?" So I popped over to check.

Guess what? I'm worth more now. Check it out:


My blog is worth $5,645.40.
How much is your blog worth?



I blame all of you that come here and read in support of my sick need to feel that someone in the world is listening to me! Thanks for that!!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

5.16.2007

The View Outside My Window

When I woke up this morning, it was a good day. I was happy. I felt good. I have just returned to college and feel a sense of pride about making that happen. I played with my son. I read a good book. I spoke with friends. I laughed.

It's 10:30 at night and I'm painfully aware of the regrets and unhappiness I carry inside of me. I feel a bitter sense of disappointment about the things I haven't been able to accomplish. I look around me and I see people doing and being the things I thought I would be doing and being when I was this age. It makes me sad. It makes me lonely. It makes me a little angry.

The irony here? Tomorrow morning I will wake up and I will feel fine. I will know that what happens happens for a reason and that my life is good the way it is.

I hate Bipolar Disorder.

5.15.2007

Just Poke My Eyes Out

We have a "War Czar" now.

What the FUCK????? Does Bush think his name is Alexi? Is Rasputin whispering in his ear? Did Laura spike his Wheaties this morning?

Does the "War Czar" together with the "Drug Czar" and have lunch? Can't you just imagine that conversation?

Drug Czar: "Soooo, what'd ya do this week?"

War Czar: "Oh, not a hell of a lot of anything. Had a couple of press conferences. Have to shine the public on about how we're giving it our best effort..blah blah blah. You know the drill."

Drug Czar: "I know, they've had me spouting that same crap for YEARS now. They won't actually let me DO anything."

War Czar: "Oh hell no. But it's a good gig, if you can get it."

And the most frightening thing? Go find a picuter of this guy. Remind anyone else of Oliver North? Can you say Iran/Contra? I knew that you could.

I hate math, have I ever mentioned that?

I just downloaded the lecture notes for my statistics class. It was an 83 page document filled with graphs and charts and talk of x and y and z. My brain hurts already and I haven't even gone to class yet.

I hate math. I have always hated math. I'm going to hate this class. It doesn't help that the teacher apparently thinks he has a sense of humor and has therefore chosen a text called "Statistics for People Who THINK They Hate Statistics". Yeah...I don't THINK. I KNOW.

I need a Diet Pepsi.

Today we are wearing....

My son dressed himself this morning.

This is what he's wearing:

A Thomas the Train pajama shirt. It's bright blue.
A pair of dark blue bermuda short length swim trunks, they have red, yellow and green fish all over them.

And the crowning glory? Blue snow boots and his fathers Bronco's baseball cap!

I SERIOUSLY need to get a digital camera.

5.14.2007

The right to be upset or expecting special treatment?

It's Monday so let's start the week out with a little healthy debate. As I trolled the web this morning I came across this little tid bit:

Becoming a mother a dilemma and victory

The article details the decision of a young woman who was a awarded a track scholarship at the University of Memphis and became pregnant to keep her baby. The decision meant she lost her scholarship.

There are a lot of people up in arms about this one. They are calling it many things: illegal, immoral and just plain wrong. I'm going to hop over to the other side of the fence though. Let's look at it from the another standpoint.

This isn't a fourteen year old girl we're talking about. This young woman is a sophomore in college. That makes her 21 at least, so I'm guessing both she and her boyfriend are conversant in the current methods of birth control and the fact that using only one method can sometimes be risky...you can double up, say a condom and the pill. There's also the fact that when she was awarded the scholarship not only was she aware that the standard good grade guideline applied, she was told and had to sign an acknowledgement that if she fought, got into verbal conflicts with the coaches or became pregnant she would lose her scholarship. It's something all the students awarded the scholarship sign. So it's not like it was a surprise.

Isn't this part of the freedom of choice? She's an adult. She got pregnant, reviewed her options and choices and made the one she thought she could live with. In a perfect world the school would say, "Well, we know we gave you an athletic scholarship and now that you're pregnant you can't perform athletically, but we'll let you keep the scholarship anyway." This isn't a perfect world. Why should the University make exceptions for pregnant women? It's not like there aren't ways to prevent becoming pregnant, chief among them, not having sex.

Now...I know someone reading this is going to jump all over me for that last statement. "But Serena, this is the 21st Century. This is an era of sexual freedom. Women should be allowed to express themselves and their sexuality and not be penalized for it." Blah blah blah.....great. You go ahead and express yourself. The reality is this: You have sex, you run the risk of getting pregnant. Period. It's that simple. Even birth control isn't one hundred percent. It says so on the back of the package for cripes sake.

Freedom of choice doesn't start after you get pregnant. It starts the moment you decide to have sex. Freedom of choice means that you are choosing to accept the responsibity for everything that comes after. It isn't the University's fault that she got pregnant. Think of it this way: If she were a man and on an athletic scholarship and that man violated the terms of the scholarship, would anyone blink when they revoked it? Nope...but this is a PREGNANT woman we're talking about and that evokes all kinds of mushy "AHHHHH" feelings in most people....

Isn't is actually kind of sexist to say that BECAUSE she's pregnant she deserves special treatment? Would she deserve less if her grades had slipped or she had slapped a coach?

Weigh in on this one folks. What do you think?

5.10.2007

Beating the Dead Horse

And once again the breastfeeding frenzy is upon us. It seems that actress Maggie Gyllenhaal was recently photographed breastfeeding her child in public uncovered and it has sparked the contorversy anew.

I briefly entertained the idea of leaving the following comment on the Stollerderby comment board:

"Get over it. Yes, we all know they're only boobs. But you also need to know that not everyone wants to SEE your boobs. By your wonderful, if skewed, logic no one should be upset if a man wants to whip it out in public to pee. I mean, urination is a perfectly natural biological function and come on, it's ONLY a penis, right?"

But then I thought better of it as I'm sick and damned tired of the new and the "hip". I'm tired of all the self serving bullshit. I'm thrilled for Maggie. Great, she whipped out her boobs in public and didn't mind that some dumb ass of a photographer (who I think is a complete asshat) took a picture of her. Wonderful! Good for her! I really doubt she did it to become the new poster girl for breast feeding solidarity. She was probably thinking, "I better feed my kid."

The lack of thought given to other people here is astonishing. I would be willing to bet that if someone were to do something that made these same women uncomfortable, they would want them to stop. The basic, underlying principle here is this: When you live in a society with other people you have to be aware that you can't just do whatever you want, just because you want to. Yes, you should be able to feed your child, but that doesn't mean that other people should be asked to be uncomfortable while you do it. If that means that occasionally you are asked to cover your breast while you breastfeed...GET OVER IT!!!!! Jesus!

Oh...and before somone decides to trot out the "Men can take off their shirts in public" thing? Yeah, until men's chests are considered sexual objects? Not even close to a valid argument. You may WISH that women's breast weren't viewed as sexual objects, but they are. You know it. I know it. The guy sitting next to you on the bus knows it. Deal with it. Men look at a womans breasts and it calls up all the mystery and the "Hmmmm I wonder..." He can't help it. You can't stop it. This is not the Star Trek Universe and you are not Lt. Uhura...we are not boldly going. Got it?

You want to make social change? Great! Let's change something important. How about applying a little of that righteous indignation to oh, I don't know, fixing the health care system? Helping the seriously impoverished? Working to help young women who suffer from low self-esteem and end up using sex as a substitute for love? How about jumping on one of those causes?

Quit beating this particular dead horse, it's starting to smell bad.

5.09.2007

The Wrong Focus

There's a story out today about a couple that was senteced to life in prison in the death of their six week old son. He died of malnutrition. The headline reads: "Vegan couple sentenced to life over baby's death
Malnourished baby was fed soy milk and apple juice, weighed 3 1/2 pounds"


The article takes the wrong focus. The death of this child had nothing to do with this couple being vegan and putting that fact first and foremost in the headline is the same as standing in the street screaming "VEGANS ARE NEGLECTFUL PARENTS!!!!"

I'm not a vegan. My son drank soy formula until he was almost two. He's fine. He's big and happy and healthy. He's above average for his age group in all his developmental markers. Now, if this couple were giving their child a food product that was intended for consumption by older children or adults against the advice of a doctor...that's just plain STUPID...and again, has nothing to do with them being vegan.

If this were a problem with them choosing to be vegan, we'd have kids dropping dead left and right and we don't. There are plenty of parents out there that choose alternative life styles and know that they have to make different choices for their children based on nutrional need.

Sadly, these two boneheads were just that...boneheads. It's sad. They have to live with what happened for the rest of their lives. It disgusts me that they sat and watched their child waste away and decided that their "principles" were worth more than his life....but let's not condem everyone that chooses that lifestyle because of it.

5.08.2007

Today we talk about "hip" parents

You know what? I am a tragically un-hip parent. If you look at my book shelves you will not see one parenting book. Until I started reading the so called "parenting blogs" I wasn't even aware that there were things like "Attachment Parenting" or "Helicopter Parents" or even "Hip Parents". When did this start? When did parenting become a thing we need recognition for? Did I miss the memo on this?

I grew up with siblings who were younger by eight and ten years respectively. This meant that I was the default babysitter, diaper changer and entertainer for a number of years. I learned to make bottles, change cloth diapers, how to care for an umbilical stump, how to burp...all those things, before I was twelve. When I had my daughter I just took her home. The nurse asked me if I had any questions and I think I probably looked at her like she was nuts.

I never worried about the "breast or bottle" thing. I can't breastfeed. So that made that decision for me. Both of my children were lactose intolerant, so we did soy formula. Guess what? Neither one of them is damaged. They both grew up happy, healthy and smart...no mental delays here.

I never "sleep trained" my children. What is that anyway? You stand at the door to your child's room and listen to him or her scream with the idea that it "teaches" them something? Okay....you do that. My kids learned this lesson: Mommy is there if I need her. If my children need to snuggle, we snuggle. If my children need to sleep with me, fine. It's hurting who? Once they're asleep, I pick them up and move them back to their own bed.

And don't even get me started on the whole whiner ass attitude of parents that need books and support groups so they can talk about how "monotonous" it is to be a parent. Newsflash: It is not your child's job to be entertaining or to make you feel fulfilled. It is your job to make your child feel safe and loved and ensure that they never feel like you see them as a burden...you big dumb IDIOT!! Apparently there are people out there that have children and are then surprised to learn that it is, for the most part daily repetition of the same activities because, well, they're KIDS!!

Here's an idea, if you aren't prepared to give up most everything in your life (not that you actually have to, but you should be prepared to) then don't have children. Being a parent is about being able to place the well being of your child first...all the time...everytime. Once you have kids, it's not about you anymore.

I don't know when it happened, but I think sometime in the last decade I morphed into my grandmother. I find myself shaking my head and muttering about the lack of good common sense when it comes to parenting today.

Yes, I am a tragically un-hip parent. Thank God.

5.07.2007

(I dug these out of an old journal)


Prayer


good morning

sounds like rain

random



patterns


in the dust

incomprehensible whispers of the past

like the suns rays

reaching

through the clouds



we spend our time

chasing shadows

of what we wanted to be



the children

we were



the memories

that become us

lie like naked reminders

of our pain



belligerent screams

pointed towards

your incoherent God


**********************************************

love



topless pink chocolate in a frantic symphony

beneath

delirious whispers

of screaming

love

produce languid bitter versions

of crushing

madness



(This is your brain on drugs...*laughs*)

Art on a Monday Morning





Just wanted to share some artwork my daughter left behind for us. When she was little, everything was kittens,rainbows and flowers. Oh, how things have changed.

The Big, Ugly, Gaping Hole in my Heart

My daughter left to go and spend the summer with her father in North Dakota this weekend. This means I will not see her for three months. THREE MONTHS!!!!! May I say, on a purely selfish note, that I HATE summer? I'm happy that she gets to see her dad. I'm happy that she gets to see all her friends. But now I have this huge gaping hole in my heart from missing my kid.....and she's only been gone for two days.

I found two things that cheered me up when I got home from the airport. One is a shopping list of things she wanted to get before she left. Please note item number one on the list. My daughter was trying to spell "Hagen Daz" and because I was asleep when she wrote the list, just tried to "sound it out". I don't know that I've laughed that hard in weeks.

The second is a poem I found lying on her dresser when I returned. It was tucked under a few pictures she had drawn. It illustrates perfectly one of the many reasons I love my daughter so much...she has inherited my twisted sense of humor.

Summer vacation never seemed this long before, but now three months sounds like an eternity.

5.03.2007

Reconciliation

Suzanne left a comment recently in the post I did about the mark reading "Hiroshima" by John Hersey and "Night" by Elie Wiesel left on me. She made an excellent point, something that I had not touched on in my original post because I was, at the time, only talking about how much the books themselves had left a lasting impression that carries on even today. I want to address her comment now though, because she brought up something that is an issue I face quite often.

Here is the comment:

"I agree with you that war is vile, but I am curious how the Holocaust would have come to an end had WWII not happened. It wasn't the war that perpetrated the Holocaust. I'm pretty sure that no one would have done anything about it at all had their been no war."

The point she makes is right on the nose. In fact there is historical evidence to support the assertion that our government was aware that Hitler and his military were carrying out the systematic murder of millions and did nothing. Our government continues this type of behavior even today. You only have to look at the situation in Darfur to see what I mean.

The question then becomes, how do I reconcile, in my mind and in my soul the violence that would be necessary to stop the genocide of millions with my distaste and hatred for war and violence?

I struggled with that question and here is the answer that I arrived at. I believe that being a pacifist, just like anything else, is never an absolute. You can never say, "There is NEVER a good reason..." because, as much as we would like to say that, sometimes, stepping in to defend those less powerful than we are becomes a necessity.

The defense of one person against harm from another is a vastly different thing from the wholesale destruction of a people and culture because of some misguided attempt to inflict "democracy" on a society. I say "inflict" because when you go into a country, as we have done in Iraq, and become responsible for the destruction of their homes, businesses and lives...you are not helping anyone. The violence, in a case like that, is senseless, useless and in the end, serves no real purpose. It only serves to perpetuate the cycle of violence.

Using WWII as an example: Had our government stepped in when the war first started and they were first made aware of Hitler's genocide against the Jewish people, it would have been a humanitarian effort. The defense of a people. When we went in after the attack by Japan, it was in retaliation for that attack...and to prevent them from doing it again. The end of the Holocaust was a by-product of that. A good by-product, but a by-product none the less. The truth is that most likely our government would never have involved themselves UNLESS the war brought itself to our shores.

Compare two situations that are occuring today:

There are millions of people dying in Darfur. Millions being targeted for slaughter and our government sits and talks about "diplomatic solutions" and basically turns a blind eye, much the way it did with the Rwandan genocide. There is no gain to be had by stepping in to defend these people, and so our government doesn't. It would be for the greater moral good, outweighing even my belief that violence is a terrible way to solve things. It would be the defense of the defenseless. Yet we do nothing.

Then you have the war with Iraq. A war started and perpetuated by lies. While Saddam Hussein was a terrible man, the Iraqi people had not reached out to the world and asked for help. They had not gotten to the point of wanting to solve their internal struggles with outside military intervention. Our government presumed to step in and inflict our beliefs and our culture on a society that hadn't asked for our help. The result was what we see on the news everyday. A country now torn apart by continued violence, violence that escalates daily.

While Hussein was a dictator and a vile man in every sense, under his government the streets were not lined with burned out husks of cars. Sidewalks were not littered with the remains of buildings and covered with the blood of innocent bystanders to a war they did not start. It's true that he needed to be stopped, but that should have been up to the Iraqi people, not to us. It was a matter for them to handle, to decide when they had had enough of him. It happens all the time. China, Cuba, Romania...just a few countries where political change has been led by the people. Sometimes that change is good, sometimes it isn't, but it's the people of that country who decide what path it takes.

This is that kind of war I am talking about. This is the kind of violence. The needless, senseless destruction of a people. We will leave Iraq one day and what we will have left behind is not the image of a benevolant friend who came to the aid of someone who was defenseless, but that of a country who believed it knew what was best and then stepped in and inflicted that on a people with no regard to what that group of people wanted. In short, we started a civil war. We have also helped to perpetuate the cycle of terrorisim, a by-product that no likes to talk about.

An entire generation of Iraqi children will grow up hating this country, hating everything it stands for. That entire generation of children will be the crop the fanatics and zealots recruit from. They will use the images of dead loved ones and destroyed homes to spurn these new recruits to violence, and we played a hand in giving them that ammunition. For no real reason.

The war in Iraq has not stopped terrorism, it hasn't even made a dent. The war in Iraq has served no greater good, no humanitarian cause. The war in Iraq has brought no one peace, installed no stability to a country in turmoil. It has simply caused chaos and more violence. Meanwhile, our soldiers die and the Iraqi people die and our government buries its head in the sand to avoid admitting it made a mistake.

This is what I abhor. This is what I am opposed to.

The images in those books drove home the reality of war to a twelve year old child. They stayed with me as I grew and helped me form an opinion about the necessity of defense vs the futility of violence.

I don't have all the answers. I wish I did. I know that I see mothers, not unlike myself, watching their children suffer and die and I ache for them. I cry for the women in Darfur who will watch their children starve, or worse, be slaughtered and I am angry because I know we could stop that pain. I cry for the mother in Iraq who will rage and scream because she lost a child to another bomb and I will know that this to, is something we could help to stop.

These are two very different sides of a coin. There are no easy answers to some problems. I don't think morality was meant to be easy. I think we try to make it easy. I think we try to shape morality to fit what makes us comfortable and it's not supposed to be like that. We have become to used to turning a blind eye to the things we don't want to see.

5.01.2007

Apparently, Resistance IS Futile, Who Knew?



I saw this picture over at Wil Wheaton's blog as I was browsing through his Flickr album. If you laugh, you're as big a Geek as I am.

I want to be THIS cool

I have discovered the level by which all future levels of cool shall be measured.

Allow me to introduce you to:

Brotherhood 2.0

This is Wil Wheaton cool with the added bonus of being video. I am full of Geek Adoration for the brothers John and Hank.

If I were a cooler person and this were a cooler blog there would be ticker tape or drum rolls or something to accompany this post. I am, however, merely a lowly bookworm and things like HTML and ActiveX make my head hurt and my eyes go all blurry so we will all have to just close our eyes and imagine the ticker tape and drum rolls.

Props to Stephanie and her Super Awesome Web Surfing Abilities for bringing us tasty treat.

Can you remember when?




Can you remember the exact moment in time when you developed a specific moral stance? Do you remember that precise instance?

For some of us, an event in our lives is so galvanizing that it shapes who we will be forever. It leaves a mark on us that can not be erased. For me that event came in the seventh grade. The two books pictured above are directly responsible for me being a pacifist. I was twelve when I read them. My mind could barely grasp the information. I could not understand how such terrible things could be done by one group of human beings to another group of human beings.

I looked to the adults in my life for answers. I asked questions. Why had these things happened? More importantly why had they been allowed to happen? No one had good answers. I read every book I could find about WWII, The Holocaust, the Japanese Internment in America, Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The more I read the more my mind turned. War is a terrible thing. I read all the words. I listened to all the explanations. None of it rang true.

All I saw in my minds eye were the dead. All I could think about was what it must have been like for the President to have to live with the knowledge that he had ordered the deaths of millions of innocent people. The hell that that must have been. Where was the "right" in that? And in that instant, that moment, a moral stance formed. It solidified in my mind, took hold of my soul and rooted itself in my character. I have carried it with me in my judgements and my decisions.

As an adult I have watched my country go to war on differnt occassions. I have listened to friends talk of patriotism and been told I'm a "bad American", like a dog who peed on the rug, but that moral conviction has stayed strong in my heart. Steadfast. When others see the nescessity I see the death and the perpetuation of violence. When others talk of having to take decisive action and promoting democracy, I cry for the mother who will bury a child to young to have died so brutally. I rage inside for the futility that the cycle of violence creates.

I watch my nightly news and see tears on the faces of mourners for the victims of a school shooting and I wonder where the tears are for the hundreds that died that day in a country an ocean away.

All because of a single instant in the seventh grade when I was handed two books.

A "super" post

Today I would like to tell you about des. I started reading des's blog a while ago after seeing her link at another blog I read. I was bored that day and the title looked promising, so I surfed over. I decided that I liked des right away. Anyone that can use the word "banality" in their banner has to be good fun.

des lives in New York with her Craig. They have been together for ten years and recently celebrated their decade. YAY!!! I feel this deserves a parade of some sort as the longest relationship I've ever managed to maintain in my entire 36 year history is eight years....she's two up on me. (And her Craig is VERY CUTE...Go check out the pictures at des's blog )

des has a Masters in Comparative Literature. I think this is extremely cool and also worthy of a parade of some sort. I may be slightly biased on this point as I am also an English major. des recently applied to grad school and was understandably upset when she did not get accepted. I turned into the mom that I am and left several pep talk messages on her comments. I hope that des feels better soon! (I am sure that her friends, family and her Craig are helping out in this particular area!)

des is also a talented artist. des makes jewlery which she posts pictures of at Jewlery By Des. I have shown this site to my thirteen year old daughter who tells all of her friends about it. She thinks des is probably one of the coolest people alive, even though she hasn't met her. I was there this morning and noticed some very cool Turtle earrings. I don't have peirced ears, but the earrings are very cool and I may request a Turtle necklace. OHHHH....a Turtle anklet. That would ROCK!!!

The Wonderful World of Des is something I look forward to every day. des makes me grin with her wit and wry humor. Some interesting facts I have learned about des : She once made a very unfortunate hair cut choice ( haven't we all?) and she once won a video game contest.

I am also jealous because des is the kind of cute that means she can wear just about anything and get away with it. This annoys me in the tiniest of ways. I have decided to forgive des for this as she is a fellow book nerd and we have to stick together.

des is currently working at a job she hates. des is forced to sit in a cubicle all day and deal with the mundane and worse the idiots that come with....dum dum dum....Customer Service and all its Ilk....I hate its Ilk. (I'm not really sure what its Ilk is, but it sounds really cool doesn't it?) des is going to be quitting her job but is hoping she will be able to hold out until July. I think this makes des a Person of Superior Quality. I would have slapped the crap out of some of The Idiots and just left, but that's just me.

I hope that you have enjoyed this "super" post. Be sure to pop over and check out The Wonderful World of Des!!!

4.29.2007

Fun with the scanner

This is what happens when you let the three year old help you scan stuff...



I know, it's a creepy ass image, isn't it? Well, if you ever wanted to know how to make your kids look like The Undead, now you know. Stick their little heads in the scanner.



Then he figured out that you could put just about anything you wanted to in the scanner and a picture of it would pop up on mommy's computer. So we started with the bink.....



And moved on to a hand......



Next came a toy truck he found under my bed.....



And then another toy truck he found under my desk....He's laughing hysterically by this time. Running back and forth from his room to mine with new treasures to scan...



Here we have his "fix it" goggles....



And a sad lonely little Lincoln Log. ( I love that they still make those.)



Followed quickly by this poor squished stormtrooper....



Then the shoes. These were a gift from Judy, a dear friend in New York. My son wears these shoes EVERYWHERE we go. He loves them. They have zippers on the sides and he can put them on and take them off himself. I printed this one out for him. He took the picture to bed with him tonight.

And last but not least we have.....



Okay, if you can figure out what this is you're a damn good guesser and will be hearalded as "The Best Guesser of All Time". I know what it is. The three year old knows what it is. My husband looked at this picture and said, "What the fuck is that?"

Now you know what my family does for fun on a Sunday night.

The Trouble with New Readers........

We have a new reader!! Normally I'd just drop a quick "Hey there! How are ya!" in the comments...but this reader and I have something special in common. We both dig James T. Kirk. Some of you may already know Gunfighter, everyone else, give him a big "Hey there! How are ya?"

I found this book at my local thrift store. Can you believe it? I love the local thrift store. So many cool things, just waiting to be discovered.



"The Trouble With Tribbles" is probably one of the most well known Star Trek episodes. They even revisited it during Star Trek" Deep Space Nine. Ahh....how they love to time travel.



Here we see James T. Kirk in all his glory. You know we love him.



Does anyone else notice something missing from these Kligons? Worf would later say, "It is a very embarassing part of Kligon history. We do not discuss it." (or something along those lines...) when Jadzia questions him about it in the DS9 revisit. Yes..I AM that big a geek. Now hush....



And...as always, Captain James T. Kirk and the crew of the Starship Enterprise save the day. Was there ever any doubt?

This book was a great find and I hope you've enjoyed this very special Welcome!!!!

4.28.2007

It's 75 degrees outside right now. I've just come inside from laying out in the sun. I went out with a blanket and a bottle of baby oil and slathered myself up and just basked. I soaked up all the warmth and goodness of the day. There's a slight breeze and no clouds and the air smells beautiful. I love days like this. They're better than any anti-depressant on the market.

Now I'm this wonderful shade of pink and I'm warm and I feel wonderful. I smell like sunlight.

I love days like this.

I'm going to go take my son for a walk.