As many of you may have noticed, I haven't been around for the past week. That's because on Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 I gave birth to a 7lb 3oz baby boy. We named him Galen Michael Sorensen. He was beautiful and perfect and two weeks early.
Just like his sister before him, we placed him for adoption...with the same family that adopted his sister. They named him Archibald James. He is still perfect and beautiful, but he is gone today. They got the official okay from the state of Utah to go home this morning and I'm feeling a little numb.
I know that it was the best decision for my son. I know that he will be loved and cherished. I know that I will see him and that he will know I made this decision out of love for him. But on the inside I ache a little. This is the third child I have had to say good-bye to in my life time and part of me wants to be selfish and ask why. Part of me wants to cry and scream and be angry.
And then there's the part of me that rejoices knowing that all three of those children are living the lives they were meant to live. All three of those precious gifts are being cherished and snuggled and loved. They will always have the warmth and safety of a family and they will always be part of something beautiful. People say they don't understand how I could give my children away. I don't look at it like that. I didn't give my children away. The adoption didn't make them any less my children, it just made them my children in a different way. I did the one thing I could for them as their mother, I made a good choice for them. Being a good parent isn't always about the easy choice.
To all my children: You mommy loves you.
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Our words are floating in cyberspace like dead letters at the post office..just waiting for someone to find them and read them....
Ten Things I've Figured Out
- I'm not any cooler now than I was when I was 13.
- Having a lot of books is like having a lot of televison channels...It makes it harder to choose.
- My son's smile will always make me feel better.
- Even if the memories aren't all good ones, having them is a really special thing.
- I am always going to be a terrible housekeeper
- My daughter is growing up, even if I don't want her to.
- My dog loves me more than anyone else in the house.
- My husband really is that much of a kid at heart.
- No matter how hard I try to pretend, I still hate eating my vegetables!
- You can never have to many kinds of lotion or to many flavors of lipgloss.
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
6 comments:
Hard to know what to say here. "Congratulations" doesn't sound right. I'm sorry you had to give away your baby, but glad you made such a responsible decision for all concerned.
I was touched by the love in this letter.
Wow.
I can't imagine giving away one of my own children, much less three of them. I haven't been reading your blog for that long, and I don't want to open up something painful if you don't want to share it, but I'm curious as to why.
Ian
I should have called yesterday. I'm glad they got the ok to go home but I'm sad to see them all go. It's been fun having them here. I hope you're doing all right with everything. You know where to find me if you need an ear, or a shoulder.
Love you!
I know it doesn't help, but know that somebody down in Texas cried for you today. You are brave, responsible, gutsy, and filled with perfect parental love. I'm in awe.
You are one of the most generous and loving people I have ever "met." I heartily say ditto to Supersnark's comments on this, and I can't reiterate how much respect and admiration I have for you.
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