Love vs Obsession

Talking to a friend today and we got on the subject of unconditional love vs. lust/obsession. He had a pretty damn good definition of the two things:


lust/obsession = something or someone you are attracted to, to the point that you paint a fake picture over the face of him/her/it. you believe them to be flawless, perfect, and can do no wrong. you ignore their flaws


unconditional love = you recognize this person for who they are, and understand that they do have flaws and inperfectness. however, you love this person regardless of their flaws, or "conditions." it doesn't matter if they mess up, or if they do good, you love them regardless.


That's a pretty damn good idea of what it should be about...why can't people accept the unconditional love though? Obsession and lust seem to be the norm, but love, actual, honest love for another human being is regarded as a weakness, something you are supposed to hide or be ashamed of.

People are inundated by the social idea that love has to be fiery, passionate, hot.....all the time.....that it should be something out of a movie. Romance novel sweet. Hallmark moments in impossible shades of sunset.....no one seems to understand that love, real, abiding, lasting love is more of a slow burn.

Why is it so hard to let someone accept you, flaws and all? Why does it seem like people want to be tread upon, put down and used? What the hell is up with that?