The Dead Letters

The Death of Common Sense in America

2010-03-24T11:32:00.002-07:00

Today's big news? VP Joe Biden knows the word "Fuck". Sure people are still talking about the health care reform law that just passed, but today it seems to be a little overshadowed by the VP dropping an F-bomb near an open mic. Now, I don't know about any of you, but this really doesn't seem like news to me. Who cares? The report I watched from NBC even included some seventeen year old kid that is the president of a no-cussing club. There's a song that I listen to by a band called The Birds and the Bee, "If you say it all the time, a dirty word will get its cleaning." Sums it up for me.
Recently I watched an episode of Penn and Teller's Bullshit from a couple of seasons ago. They changed the name of the show for that one episode to "Penn and Teller's Humbug". They did this to illustrate that a word now common and not considered profane used to be a cuss word.
Out country as a whole has taken to focusing on small, insignificant things and avoiding any real study of issues that are important. I don't want to hear repeated reports dissecting the ramifications of our VP using a "dirty" word. It has no real bearing on anything.
Earlier today I was talking to my sixteen year old daughter and her friend. Her friend was asking about the health care reform law because her mother told her it was a bad thing. When I tried to explain that, while it may not be entirely good, it wasn't entirely bad either. My daughter's response? "That's why I don't pay attention to those things, it's to complicated."
The youth of today don't want to have to think about the things that will impact their lives tomorrow. They want sound bites and sensation, a problem I blame largely on our media and the lack of good education. They are content to let others make major decisions.
I've heard both sides of the health care reform debate and I think both sides have it wrong. One side is screaming that big business is controlling everything and the other side is screaming that the government is trying to interfere to much.
Here's what I want to know, where the hell did everyone's common sense go? Do big corporations have to much power? Yes, but only because the complacency of the America public has allowed it. Is government taking to large a role in the daily lives of American citizens? Again, I would say, yes, but only so far as it seems to have become necessary.
People sit at home and scream and rant about how the government isn't doing anything and when the government does something that may not be entirely convenient, they scream and rant about how it interferes with their lives.
Grow up. The government controls how much money you get to keep, who you can marry, what drugs you can or cannot ingest, when you can drink, when you can smoke, where you can smoke, the fact that you have to wear a seat-belt in your car. The list goes on and on.
People are upset because they don't want the "choice" taken away from them, but they don't want to actually do anything about the problem for themselves. No one is going to stop buying cars from companies who pay their CEO's more than most of us will see in a lifetime. No one is going to stop using the insurance they have because the company that sells it is corrupt from the top down. No one will do anything that will overtly inconvenience them. We are a nation of passive/agressives.
Change doesn't happen without sacrifice and as long as we continue to focus more on what someone says instead of on what someone does, nothing is ever going to get any better.

Only five more pounds to go...

2010-01-31T17:29:00.003-07:00

Weight loss update: I only have five more pounds to go before I slide back firmly under 200 punds. This will put me in a size 18, which may not sound all that great to some, but please remember, I started out in a size 26. I haven't given in to the diet craze, I don't starve myself, I haven't started drinking Slim Fast or ordering meals from Jenny Craig. I have been watching how much I eat, excercising (although not as much as I should) and not denying myself the foods I love, which keeps the cravings at bay. All in all, I'm really pround of myself. To celebrate, I went out and bought a couple of new shirts. My waist is more defined, my arms are less monstrous and over all, I'm digging the fact that I have to keep buying smaller clothes. I think the biggest Yay! moment for me is the fact that I have done all of this without the help of any weight loss products and I'm still eating all the foods I love. I have noticed that I crave less and less sugary snacks and am, instead, leaning more and more towards fresh fruit, yogurt and especially mini carrots. I'm proof that with a little work and some basic modification, it can be done.

Thank you for calling Cause Celebre, how can we help you?

2010-01-22T17:07:00.002-07:00

There's a telethon tonight called "Hope for Hati Now". Once again the celebrities of our nation are banding together for the current cause celbre. They are going to tug at heart strings and there will most likely be full color pictures of children amid horrible devistation. People will open their wallets and give generously, and feel good about themselves for doing so.

My big problem with this is that there are no telethons planned to help people who are at risk of losing their homes because they can't find work. Or the people who have a hard time buying food and clothing for their families because what they make just doesn't strech like they need it to. Where is the moral outcry about the children in out country who don't see doctors and dentists when they need to because there is no insurance available and the parents don't qualify for "state aid".

I understand the desire to reach out and help others who are so obviously suffering, but I have to question the motives of the people involved. Before this earthquake hit, Hati was a country in trouble. Poverty was overwhelming and children were starving. No one was launching telethons then. People weren't calling aid agencies offering to adopt the thousands of orphans that were there before disaster struck. Our country has a long history of putting on a good show in a time of crisis, but unless the media and the world are watching, we don't seem to be motivated to do much of anything.

I have talked with people about this before and often their response is, "Well, people in this country can get jobs to pay the bills, or get help from the government (IE: welfare) if they really have to." The problem there is that jobs don't often pay what they should and in a household with only one parent, daycare costs alone can eat up any second paycheck that might be available. As to help from the state....well, you can't really count on that either. In order to qualify for most welfare programs you have to be making under $1900 a month (that's based on a family of four) if you make even .50 over that, you will be denied, or have benefits taken away. ( You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. My own family tried to get insurance for our son last year after my husband was laid off. We were denied because our family made $1.50 over the allowable limit.)

As a nation we seem to be oblivious to the suffering of our own. We tend to assume that someone else is taking care of that problem and look to other countries as an example of "those less fortunate". The problem is, in many areas of our nation, there are families living in homes that should be condemed, without heat or water. There are children whose only real meal of the day comes from school programs and whose clothing is threadbare and ill-fitting because it is donated. These children are often at risk for illnesses that should not be a problem in a nation as advanced as ours. And the risks to them don't stop there. Extreme poverty in many areas has deteriorated the education system making it much less likely that children raised in those areas will ever be able to break the cycle of poverty they were born into.

The next time your heart cries out to help those less fortunate than yourself, look a little closer to home. Call local aid agencies and ask what you can do to help. Go to www.donorschose.org and make a donation to help an impoverished school system provide educational supplies to the children in your area. Or go to www.mercycorps.org and find ways to help here at home.

Apparently, I struck a nerve....

2010-01-19T21:03:00.002-07:00

I've been hanging out at Newsvine a lot lately because, well, mostly because I like to see what sharing my opinion will do. (Anyone who knows me is smiling right now.) Tonight, it looks like I struck a nerve.

There's an article up on MSN talking about how little faith American's have in President Obama. I, of course, could not pass up the opportunity to go in and share my two cents. (And really, in today's market, it's really only 1/2 a cent, but hey...) After I posted my own private rantings, I started reading some of the other stuff and came across one by a poster calling himself James Herman that simply said: "This Negro Needs to go!" Couldn't let pass, so I replied "Very educated of you. Which one are you? Hattfield or McCoy? Because, yes, you've discovered what we have all missed...this country is in the toilet because our President is black. Now, if you could please just turn your stunning intellect to solving the rest of the world's problems, we would all be very grateful." This reply got a response by someone else calling himself Johnny Vegas telling me not to "throw stones"....okay.

Then I remembered where I had seen the screen name before: (Here's the "conversation")

Johnny Vegas 1544044:
"Everyone is stupid but you Elitist Libs - What a piece of work you are. Thank God my Vote will cancel yours out EVERY TIME!!!!"

viciousrumours:
"First: I can't believe anyone actually believes that their "vote" in a Presidential election means anything. Second: I sincerely doubt you're going to win any points with God by invoking his name in this particular manner. Third: Capitalizing the word "Vote" doesn't really mean yours is more important."

Johnny Vegas 1544044:"OOOHHHHH

Visciousrumors is the word police and the defender of Faiths!!!

Quite Impressive - too bad you're an atheist!!!! AND A LOSER!!!! GUESS WHAT - ONLY 59 VOTES ON HEALTH CARE HA HA HA HA HA

(all caps was done on purpose) "

After I finished laughing I had to decide if I would further engage this lovely individual. You will all be very proud of me when I tell you that I did not, even though I really, really wanted to. Apparently I struck a nerve, huh? I'm the word police and the defender of faiths, although I admit I got a tad confused when he then called me an atheist. Not sure how that would work, but....

And the fact that he felt the need to point out he capitalized everything on purpose, just sort of makes it pathetic doesn't it?

Although I have decided not to further poke this particular badger, I invite all my fellow badger pokers to log into Newsvine and look this guy up. Could be an interesting way to pass some time.

(Does finding humor in this make me a twisted, twisted person?)

Oh no, the gays are at it again.....insert sacastic eyeroll here

2010-01-11T14:05:00.003-07:00

The trial regarding the gay marriage ban in California started today, and as was to be expected, has started a whole shit-storm of religious hate-mongering. Not one of the posts I've read on Newsvine discussing the issue has used any argument against gay marriage other than the tired old "God said it was wrong" argument. The posts have been peppered with the usual bullshit about gays trying to "force" their life-style on the God Fearing American Heterosexual Population.

So when does it end? Should we go back to the days of forced segrgation, forced participation in religion. We can put an end to this soft religion and just go back to the days when God's word was followed to the letter. Put people in stocks if they don't attend church, make women wear big scarlet A's on their chests if they get caught cheating on their husbands, allow parents to beat their children and husbands to beat their wives. How about revoking the freedom of speech and the press because, let's face it, people say and write a lot of things that just don't jive with God.

The terrifying thing for me is the blatant disregard for history here. Removing or denying one freedom to one group opens the door for other groups to do the same with other freedoms. The price for having the freedom we have is allowing those freedoms to be given to all citizens of this country, not just the ones we happen to agree with. I'd love nothing more than to see white supremisists strung up by their toes and whipped until they bled, but that's just me and my bloodthirsty nature. I'd love to see pedophiles summarily shot upon the handing down of a guilty verdict. However, I would never dream of trying to get laws passed that would make those things possible. They are personal beliefs and as such belong in the realm of "I think..." not "we should..."

If people disagree with the GLBT lifestyle, fine, no one is asking you to walk in the parade, just don't get in the way of others being allowed the same legal protection and freedoms you enjoy.

More terrible news in a horrid economy...

2009-11-18T15:56:00.002-07:00

Prepare yourselves for the worst news yet...Kellog's is running out of Eggo Waffles. Yes, you heard me right. Eggo's will be in short supply until mid-2010. I know what you're thinking,"How will I survive." I feel your pain and know that if we stick together we can weather this terrible breakfast food crisis. Living without the Eggo waffle will be tough, no doubt, but I feel we, as a nation, are strong enough to survive.

For the love of God, if you have a stockpile of Eggo's please remember that your friends, family and neighbors may not be so fortunate. Share with someone you love until this crisis has passed.

Stay strong my friends, this won't last forever.

Another useless lawsuit in the making....

2009-10-28T09:24:00.004-07:00

Today from the wonderful world of news I could have lived without we have the story of Tervor Keezer who was fired from Home Depot for wearing a pin that said, "One nation under God, indivisible." Apparently he had been wearing the pin for a year and was only recently fired. The company has a long standing, blanket policy that says only company approved pins are allowed to be worn on the aprons employees wear at work. Mr. Keezer was offered a pin that said "United we Stand" , but declined to wear it. Now the he has a civil rights attorney and blogs everywhere are buzzing about him. Mr. Keezer says he feels "...like I was punished for just loving my country." Well, if he was only interested in showing patirotism, the button the company approved should have been enough.

I went to Newsvine to see what comments were being posted and found that an overwhelming number of them support Home Depot. A couple, in support of the employee, questioned the fact that he had been wearing the pin for a year before being terminated. Here's the thing, we don't know how many chances he was given to remove or change the pin before he was let go. Most companies have a policy that allows for supervisors to provide at least one oral and up to three written warnings to any employee in violation of company policies before moving to termination. I'm betting that that also occured here.

The problem I have here folks is the fact that yet another individual in our country is looking for a way to not take responsibility for his/her own actions. This isn't about religion, it's about a violation of company dress standards. Private companies have the right to determine what an employee can and can't wear while at work. It's as simple as that. Mr. Keezer is looking for a way to shift responsibility from himself to the company he worked for. Grow up.

As a nation, we need to stop babying people and start making them responsible for the choices that they make. If you want to stand up for your principles, then fine, but don't expect me to feel sorry for you if it doesn't go your way. When you make a stand and say it's based in principle and then turn around and whine when you lose your job, get arrested, get supended from school...whatever....it does one thing: It points our how non-principle related your actions really were.

Mr. Keezer and others like him need to get over themselves.

Over reaction or justified anger?

2009-10-26T16:40:00.002-07:00

There's an article on MSN today about a hotel owner who asked his Spanish speaking employees to speak only English around him and required that they use English versions of their names at work. Some employees have been fired, according to the owner, for insubordinate behavior. The Spanish speaking community in Taos is now protesting saying that it's racist to ask the employees to do these things. I have one question: How is what he's asking any different than calling a call center and getting a person with an obvious accent that answers and tells you his name is Mark, when you know for a fact that it isn't? Or telemarketing companies that use computer voice software instead of live people because their employees don't speak English as a first language? Honestly, I believe that if these practices are okay in one setting they are okay in any employment setting. If this owner is guilty of being a racist, aren't all companies that require the same types of things following racist policies?

Approaching the two month mark...

2009-10-21T14:40:00.002-07:00

I'm fast approaching the two month mark of my weight loss "experiment" and so far have managed to lose a total of ten pounds by doing nothing more than eating less and walking more. For a woman my age (*ahem* thirty-nine *ahem*) that's no small thing. I do have to admit, though, that of that ten pounds I have only managed to keep five off. I got depressed, and then got depressed about being depressed, and as a result reaquainted myself with some old friends. First Mr. Reese and I got to know each other again and shortly after that Mr. Cheesecake and Mr. Sinfully Delicious Cupcake showed up. Yeah, I know, I need to make better guests lists, right?

That small set back not withstanding, I'm moving forward. I've broken out the old excercises they used to make us do in gym class when we were in grade school. Streching, basic sit-ups, push-ups (yes, I do the "girl" ones, no way is my fat ass pushing straight up from the ground, just not happening folks) I also have one of those yoga bands and I've started carrying weights when I walk...they only weigh two pounds, but that counts...I dare you to say it doesn't.

I still indulge in the occassional sweet, but I've replaced eating with writing, playing with my son and reading a good book. We got rid of cable and I find that watching less television has motivated me to find other, more active ways to fill my time.

I've also started planning our menu. New grocery shopping rule: If it ain't on the list, it don't come home. Not having it in the house to begin with is a big thing.

Next month: Pictures. That's right...you get to see me in all my pre-weight loss, no make-up, no touch-ups glory. That way, when I meet my goal, every one can appreciate my hard work and accomplishment...it's a purely selfish thing.

Have a great week everyone!

"....God is an Astronaut...."

2009-09-23T20:46:00.002-07:00

Allah

The name for God, the Supreme Being, in the Arabic language; the common name for God in Islam.

Jehovah

Another name for God; an approximation of the holiest name of God in Hebrew (the name was held so sacred that it was never written or spoken, and scholars are not sure exactly how it should be pronounced). It means “I am that I am,” or “I am the one who is.” In the incident of the burning bush in the Book of Exodus, God, speaking out of the bush, tells Moses that this is his name.

Yahweh

1869, hypothetical reconstruction of the tetragrammaton YHWH (see Jehovah), based on the assumption that the tetragrammaton is the imperfective of Heb. verb hawah, earlier form of hayah "was," in the sense of "the one who is, the existing.

As I sat in my little corner of the office today, working quietly on my faux wood desk, I saw one of the most frightening things I've seen all week. A woman came into the office. Perfume wafted from her in waves, her hair was cut in the typical "look at me, I'm a good, suburban white woman" style, she had the impossibly long fake nails, the too short, too tight denim shorts...but this isn't what frightened me (although it was terrifying to behold). No, what scared me was the t-shirt she had on. "Mr. President. You're Wrong" it boldy declared on the front. "This is a CHRISTIAN NATION! (One country under GOD...founded in 1776) read the back.

Had I not been at work I would have actually said something to this woman. It seems, that like morality and values the "Christians" (and I use the term loosely) of this country have co-opted the name of God as something they and they alone understand, hold dear and believe in. The audacity is amazing.

At the beginning of this post are just a few of the names used around the word for God. I've spoken before about the demonization of the Muslim religion and other atrocities I see being undertaken in the name of "Christianity".

As I thought about what I wanted to say in this post, the brightest image in my overactive imagination was a picture of this woman standing in front of the gates of heaven. St.Peter looks at her, looks at the list and then says, "Well boys, I guess we have to let her in. She wore the t-shirt." If I could draw I would turn it into a cartoon.

All I know is that the afterlife I'm planning on doesn't look anything like the place this woman is obviously picturing. The God I believe in isn't going to reward people for self-righteous back patting, homophobic paranoia or any of the other nonsense being shoved forward by the "good christians" of this country. My God created everything just the way it is, good and bad alike. My God will welcome everyone. My God doesn't exclude based on a pronunciation, a book, a lifestyle or any other silly criteria. How about your God?

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

2009-09-19T13:03:00.002-07:00

"The Secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd is one of my favorite books. They made a movie from it, but I hadn't had the chance to watch it until the other night. Watching the movie and the themes the story deals with made me stop and think. Why is it that some people can see others simply as fellow human beings while others need to catorgerize and label? As a child I was taught that no matter the color of someone's skin, their wealth or their choice of lifestyle we do not have the right to judge them. It was the most important thing my mother ever taught me and it is a lesson that I have passed on to my children.

The other day we were in Wal-Mart picking up some groceries when my five-year-old son said, "Mommy, that man's skin is black." I looked up and there was a gentleman in line ahead of us and his skin was indeed black. I looked back down at my son and said simply, "Yes, it is." My son has not been exposed to different ethnicities in his short life, so his next question was why. I answered, "Because everyone is different. That's the way God made us. If everyone was the same we'd all get bored." My son shrugged and that was the end of it. My answer was simple, but it was good enough for him.

I have a hard time understanding how racism still exists. When I talk about favorite authors, favorite actors, friends etc...I have never felt the need to preface myself with "He/She is my favorit African American..." How is it I wonder, that so many others have a hard time dropping the color of skin, type of religion or choice of lifestyle from the way they view people.

The quote above means a lot to me. When Dr. King spoke those words our country was in the middle a the Civil Rights Movement, one of the most important things that happened in that era. The words still ring true today, only now, it is religious persecution that I feel has come to the forefront.

Many people I know stand by and listen as others spew hatred based on the choice of religion individuals make, most significantly, the Islamic religion. Our nation has demonized an entire group of people based on nothing more than the bad actions of a few and the religion they chose to associate themselves with. Racism comes in all forms and it turns my stomach to hear the hatred coming forth from the mouths of people who consider themselves "Good Christians". I have gotten into more than one verbal battle standing up for the point of view I have. I don't come down on the "Islam = terrorism" side. I see the situation differently. At it's core, Islam share many of the same values and teachings as Christianity.

The other thing that galls me is how quickly people seem to have forgotten the history of Christianity. The Crusades. The Spanish Inquisition. The persecution of immigrants of different religions in the 1900's. The bombing of abortion clinics. Christians have perpetrated some fairly horrible things in the name of their God.
When we ignore this, we are blinding ourselves to the only path to hope there really is.

Stand up and let your voice be heard. It has been said that a thousand people whispering will have more power than one person screaming. Start whispering.

A little experiment

2009-09-06T17:24:00.002-07:00

Over the last four years, my life has had it's share of bumps in the road. Stress, pregnancy, more stress and to be very honest....a lot of weight gain. Even with the 90 pounds I've lost in the last two years, I'm still weighing in at over 80 pounds over weight. Now, as anyone who knows me well will tell you I'm not all that concerned about "looking good". Since I was a teenager I've managed to develop a fairly healthy self-image. I'm never going to be "skinny", but I can be healthy.

A few years ago, while I was pregnant, I accepted a challenge from a web-friend to give a vegetarian lifestyle a try. I followed doctor's instructions and turned a month long idea into three months. After giving my life and my choices considerable thought I have decided on the following experiement: Beginning monday, I will be making several lifestyle changes.

I will not be dieting. I will not be joining a gym or Weight Watchers. I will be walking each night, at least 15 minutes to start. I will be eating breakfast, lunch and dinner every day instead of skipping meals. I will be cooking each night, no boxed meals, no convience items. My goal is to go from 245 lbs to 145 lbs. As I take this journey, I'm going to document my progress.

As soon as I find the cable to connect my camera to my computer I will start posting pictures, beginning with me as I look now. No makeup, no clever camera angles, just me. My goal during this process is to document the fact that what doctor's have been telling us is true...diets, fads, pills...it's all crap. Simple changes to your lifestyle can yeild results and lead to a healthier person over all.

I look forward to hearing from everyone...the support will be greatly appreciated.

Phineas and Ferb....Truth in Advertising

2009-09-06T08:58:00.003-07:00

My son likes to watch the Disney cartoon Phineas and Ferb. I have to admit, I enjoy it as well. Two boys spend their summer vacation doing unimaginable things while their teen-age sister tries to get them busted. In the episode we watched this morning the boys decide to make a toy after seeing a new Har D Har toy that bores them. They invent, and successfully sell, Perry the Platypus Inaction Figure....It does Nothing. I started thinking, why isn't all advertising in the United States required to be like Phineas and Ferb?

Everyday we see things advertised that promise to make life better, more fulfilling, easier. Cleaning products sold by loud little men who look like deranged elves (You know who I'm talking about...), pharmacutical products (if you can call them that) that promise you too can smile like "Bob". Vauge references to "a certain part of the male body". Promises of quick cleaning, fast weight loss, smoother skin, younger looks...we are indundated daily with images of how we, the lowly consumer, can be better.

Shouldn't we be demanding that the advertisements we see state the truth? In the 1950's cigarettes were sold by cartoon characters and promised happiness and energy. If someone tried that today, we'd run them out on a rail. Yet, we don't stand up and shout for any kind of truth in the advertisements we see every day. How odd is that? Shouldn't products that offer "male enhancement" actually have to enhance men? We all know products like Extenze and Enzite are complete bullshit, but the ads are everywhere. Shouldn't toy commercials have to show what the toy really does so we don't have to explain to our children why it's just a plastic that doesn't do anything much? How about the yogurt commercials that promise "digestive health"? Medical research shows that virtually all yogurt has that benefit when eaten regularly...but as a nation we're being conned into paying twice as much for the "Activia Challenge".

Have we really become so complacent and shallow as a nation that a children's television show can use our shopping habits as comic fodder? I'm going to suggest that everyone who reads this call or write to one company who produces a product you felt fell short of it's advertising claim. Let them know someone is actually awake out here and paying attention. Once you do it, encourage your friends and family to do it as well. Let's see how much noise we can make.

Social and Cultural Ignorance

2009-09-04T16:17:00.003-07:00

Today I was reading the Facebook site for the local paper...where I work. The circulation manager had posed a simple question: "How do you feel about President Obama addressing your children in school?" Now, knowing that President Bush did this same thing, you would think that no one would have much to say, right? Wrong. There are comments that make my skin crawl. One particular woman began by stating "this president is surrounding himself with self-proclaimed communists." and continued by saying,"He wants to be friends with dictators, terrorists and Muslims...and he ignored our National Day of Prayer. And now he wants to speak directly to our kids. Sound familiar?" Wow...that was all I could think...wow. Dictators and terrorists I could probably get behind..but then she tossed in the whole of the Muslim faith and my mind came to a screeching halt.

People like this make Americans look ignorant and biased. She proudly and emphatically states that she is a Christian, and yet her views seem to be anything but. In a later comment, she tells us that we are a "Christian Nation"...not legally or anything, but just the same. She seems to believe that all of the founding fathers were Christians who intended this country to be based on and run by Christian doctrine. Did I miss that day in history class?

It amazes me that people are so threatened by President Obama and what he may be able to accomplish given time that they take to attacking him this way. I may not agree with everything his administration has done thus far, but I believe change takes time and nothing is ever accomplished without compromise. If the President could just step in, make the changes and have it done, I'm sure he would. Our political system is flawed and doesn't work that way. Instead of attacking the President, maybe we should think about fixing a terribly broken system.

The Health Care Debate

2009-09-03T11:08:00.002-07:00

As I mentioned before, I work at the local paper now. About two weeks ago there was a letter to the editor from a local woman warning everyone of the evils of public health care coverage. She went on about how it was dangerous and how, because no one had read the WHOLE proposal, if we allowed it to pass we would find ourselves quickly on the road to government managed hell. (Okay, she didn't use those words, but you get the point.)

I have to wonder how long it's been since this woman had to decide between basic medical care and paying the bills or feeding her children. My family has no medical coverage. We don't work jobs that provide it, don't make enough to buy it on our own and don't qualify for state based programs BECAUSE we have jobs. This leaves my Type 2 diabetic husband without needed medical help, doesn't allow me to take my son to the doctor when he's sick and means that if anyone is ill, we have to go to the ER to see a doctor. No dental coverage means my son isn't seen regularly to have his teeth checked and my husband, who is in desperate need of treatment deals with abcessed teeth and constant pain.

"Socialized" medicine is not a perfect system. There are waits and many brand new medications are not available immediatley...but weigh the options. The basic medical needs of millions of American's are not being met. This leads to serious health issues, which cost more than basic care. Our infant mortality rate is higher than it should be because women don't have access to basic prenatal care. Children don't receive immunizations because families can't afford them or don't meet the criteria for reduced or free services. Milions of families are forced into bankruptcy or worse, forced to spilt up their families (Yes, it's happened...) in order to get medical coverage for children who are seriously ill.

From where my family, and many others like ours, sit...a public option, even one that only provides for basic care, it going to be better than what we have now. It means access to preventative care, it means not having to lie awake at night feeling guilty because you can't get medication for a sick child. It means a lot.

People talk about the loss of private coverage, no one is going to take that away. If you can afford it, by all means, keep it, but don't ruin the first real chance many of us have had at coverage for our families.

Others say that they shouldn't have to pay for others to have medical care...meaning they don't want their tax dollars to support a public health option. Where do they think the money for Medicade and Medicare comes from? Not only that, but the money for Food Stamps and TANF. Families who get on welfare now have to stay there or risk losing coverage for their children. Who do you suppose pays for that?

We need some sort of public health care coverage in this country and we need it badly. If the plan now isn't acceptable, then make suggestions about how to fix it, but stop spreading fear and panic in order to kill the option outright.

It's Been Ages...does anyone even use this stuff anymore?

2009-09-01T22:37:00.002-07:00

So I'm living in North Dakota now. That's the big news. North Dakota, the place I swore I would never go back to. It's funny the things you do for your children. I'm working at the local paper...doing customer service as usual, but I'm hoping someday I'll get a chance to write. The paper is fairly conservative though, so not sure how well that would work out. Just recently they ran an editorial by a woman who honestly believes that the downfall of modern society is the gay marriage. Oh, and a letter to the editor by a woman convinced that any kind of socialized medical system will lead to 1984. I have much to say about these topics, but not at midnight. Wonder if anyone will actually read this??????

Would you like dessert tonight?

2008-04-01T08:44:00.002-07:00

I am a waitress......again.

I can not express in words how much this pisses me off. I hate waiting tables. I hate the fact that our government seems to feel it's okay to pay third world wages for a pretty demanding job based on the assumption that people will leave a 20% gratuity. I hate having to deal with snotty, overly demanding customers. I hate the fact that I'm expected to share my tips with hosts and hostess that get paid four dollars an hour more than I do, basically for seating people and getting them their drinks.

So, why, you wonder, did I take the job? Because I needed to. Russ's job is slow, really slow and we need the money. Like,"Which bill should we pay today?" need the money. My working isn't something we can afford to wait on any longer. So I'm a waitress....for now.

What this means is you can look forward to many, many posts of me ranting about how much I hate being a waitress. Feel free to tell me to get over myself.

Naivete, I wear it so well

2008-03-27T07:28:00.002-07:00

I consider myself a fairly educated woman. I like to think I keep up with current events, stay up to date on the issues and maintain a reasonably active voice. After the recent post I did about Representative Sally Kern and her despicable remarks, I realized I'm not as educated on the issues or vocal as I like to think.

Since that post I have been receiving emails from the Utah Pride Center as well as emails from The Human Rights Campaign. It's been an eye opening period of time.

I'll be the first to admit that when I hear the phrase "human rights" I think of people of other ethnicity's or people in third world countries or countries with non-democratic governments, I don't think of the GLBT community. If you say "civil rights" I think along those lines, but not "human rights". I'm ashamed of that.

Until just recently I was in that place that I think a lot of well meaning people are in. I have gay, lesbian and transgender friends. I know that there are issues that effect them. But I didn't really believe that our society or our government would allow them to be treated like second class citizens. What a wake up call for me.

The GLBT community isn't just dealing with random acts of discrimination by a few individuals. It's not something that can just be shrugged off as an isolated incident. These men and women are being told by governing bodies, medical administrators, religious leaders and whole other sections of our society that they don't count as much as people who have heterosexual relationships. It's absurd to say the least.

A part of me had always believed that while the law did not "technically" recognize gay and lesbian partners as family in cases of emergency doctors and other health care professionals would have compassion and share important information. Not so. They are shut out and left to wonder what is happening to the person they love.

If a gay or lesbian couple purchases property together or has children together they don't have the same protections that a heterosexual couple would be given in cases of divorce or spousal death. The remaining partner is treated like a stranger.

For a long time now I have taken the stance that not allowing people like Sally Kern to continue with their hate filled agendas was about protecting the larger good. After everything I've learned, the "greater good" seems somehow less important, if that makes any sense. I can not, in good conscience, live in a world where an entire group of people are treated as second class because they don't fit the mold that one narrow minded section of our populace wants to perpetuate.

Okay...stepping off the soapbox now, but don't be surprised to see it come back out later.

2008-03-25T16:22:00.002-07:00

I hate job hunting. I have always hated job hunting. The whole process seems silly and out-dated to me. I'm over qualified for this job, I'm under qualified for that one. I'm perfect for that third position, but for some reason I just "don't fit"....Every time I go into an interview I want to look the person interviewing me in the eye and say,"Look, if I didn't know I have the skills you were looking for, I wouldn't have bothered applying for the job. I'm an adult, I'm educated and I will give the best that I can when I'm at work. Beyond that, I don't know what 'perfect answer' you're looking for."

Of course, in the real world, such a thing would be looked upon as being disrespectful or some other bullshit.

I just really hate looking for a job.....seriously, it's like a bad date that never ends.

And here we all thought the problem was rising inflation and a probable recession....

2008-03-13T09:26:00.003-07:00

Well folks, it looks like the real culprit is "the gays". Just typing that makes me snort. It's like listening to your grandmother lean across the table at a holiday dinner to whisper "those people" when she's telling a story she heard from Matilda down the hall at the retirement community.

Over the weekend, Representative Sally Kern of Oklahoma delivered a speech to a small group of constituents. She thought she was only talking to the 50 or so people present in the room, well welcome to the 21st century honey, the whole world is listening now. Representative Kern went on a rant about the "gay threat" to our country.

After I heard this speech I went and did some looking, because I was shocked that I hadn't heard anything about this in the news. I found a posting on a discussion board from Oklahoma City. People are ashamed and outraged. One poster included an reply to an email sent to Representative Kern:

Her response to an email message from someone questioning her comments:

"Thank you for your email. I appreciate you taking the time to write and express your concerns and opinion.
I am totally against hate speech. Always have been and always will be. What you heard on YouTube was from a talk I gave on the aggressive movement to fund homosexuals and pro-homosexual candidates across the country and here in Oklahoma now that an openly homosexual is running for a statewide seat.

The account given on YouTube took my words out of context and omitted other parts stringing certain words together to make it appear I was engaging in hate speech. I was not and would never do such a thing.

The
YouTube account is a blatant misrepresentation of my talk.

As an American, you and I, and everyone else has the right to express our opinion. I said nothing that wasn't true. The homosexual agenda is real, the movement is aggressive, and it is a very real threat to the sacred institution of marriage and the traditional family unit. They are actively seeking to remove conservatives from the political arena.

My talk was to a Republican group and I was speaking about the homosexual agenda to defeat conservative Republicans. They want to silence anyone who does not approve their lifestyle. They want their freedom but don't want those who disagree to have their freedom.
I have said and will continue to say that they have every right to choose that lifestyle and I will defend their right to do so. But I do not have to agree with it and speaking against it is not hate speech.

God bless, Sally Kern "

I'm so glad she took the time to clarify which homosexual agenda she was speaking about, because lord knows, at this point I've just simply lost track. As for her assertion that homosexuality is a "very real threat to the sacred institution of marriage and the traditional family unit", I have to wonder where this woman has been for the last twenty years. According to the biographical information posted on her official page, she has a degree in Sociology, which should mean she is aware of the rising divorce rate among heterosexual couples as well as the increasing tendency of "traditional" heterosexual couples to live together for longer and longer periods. The even bigger question to be asked is, "How?" How are gays and lesbians a threat to this supposedly sacred institution?

Her response doesn't even address the statement she makes where she says that homosexuality is a bigger threat than terrorism or Islam. So, apparently, not only does this woman believe that homosexuals have some secret agenda to "turn" us all gay, she places terrorists and the whole of Islam in the same category. Nevermind the fact that not all terrorists are Islamic. She can't explain that away by saying it was taken out of context.

People like Sally Kern make it sound like individuals who are homosexual are cartoon-like villans, sitting in secret lairs, rubbing their hands together and laughing with glee as they plot the downfall of the "traditional" American family.

It terrifies me that there are people like this in control of our local, state and even national government. Such intolerence is ignorant and dangerous. I urge anyone that reads this to continue to spread the word about this woman's vile attitude. Don't let this die. Write letters. Not just to Representative Kern. Write to your own national officials and urge them to publically decry this woman for her actions. If our country raised a stink because Don Imus called a group of young women "nappy headed hos" on the radio, don't you think it should now stand up and make even more noise?

To write to Sally Kern:

Capitol Address:
2300 N. Lincoln Blvd.
Room 332
Oklahoma City, OK 73105
(405) 557-7348

District Address:
2713 Sterling Ave.
Oklahoma City, OK 73127

Email:
sallykern@okhouse.gov

This isn't the first time a politican in America has targeted the gay and lesbian community and it won't be the last. We need to make sure that people understand that we aren't going to let a persons sexuality be the last acceptable form of discrimination in our country. Even if you don't agree with a persons choices, remember this, tomorrow it could be your choices they disagree with and then what will you do?

EDIT: Since originally posting this I have found out that the Human Rights Campaign has a running letter writing campaign in an effort to exert pressure on Representative Kern to apologize for her remarks. I encourage everyone that reads this to participate in the campaign and to post a link so that others can do so as well.

Vigilence People, VIGILENCE!!!!

2008-03-12T14:31:00.003-07:00

As the parent of two I have developed highly defined views on some pretty contentious points over the years. Those of you who have been reading here for a while have seen me go off on some of them. As I was trolling the internet today I came across a story about a suburban mom from Illinois that will be standing trial for child endangerment and obstructing a peace officer. The charges stem from an incident in December when she left her sleeping two year old alone in a locked vehicle while she escorted two other children to a nearby Salvation Army bell ringer to donate money to charity.

According to all accounts, even those of the authorities, the car was not actually out of view of the mother and the mother was not gone for longer than 90 seconds or so.

Okay, this is a tough one for me. I once called the police on a woman at Wal-Mart for leaving her child alone in her SUV while she went into the store. Difference was, the vehicle was parked about 300 feet from the entrance, the windows were rolled down and the woman actually went all the way inside the store. I also waited for fifteen minutes for her to return before alerting the authorities. I think that's a really important difference, don't you?

I get that leaving a child alone and unattended is a bad thing to do. I get that child abduction only takes seconds, literally seconds, but don't we think that this may be going overboard just a TAD? It seems to me that the police department in question here is doing a couple of things: (1) covering for the fact that the officer in question was over reacting and (2) the department in question is using the woman to "make an example". Even the local social service agency found no cause to proceed.

I think she should have gotten a serious lecture about the safety issue invovled. I think she should have been made to be a little embarrassed about not thinking more clearly and maybe waiting until the weather was better and either the baby was awake or there was someone to watch her before they ran to Wal-Mart...I mean there were choices, but I don't think she did anything that requires she be JAILED. Because I mean, obviously, we don't have any REAL criminals that might need the space.

Sheesh....

The Feminine Ideal

2008-03-11T09:04:00.005-07:00

I have a secret. I fart. Are you shocked? I have, on occasion, been known to burp as well. I sneeze, I sometimes snort when I laugh, when I have a cold, my nose runs. I am guilty of biting my fingernails more than once in my lifetime...I have even done so in front of other people.

I know. You've lost all respect for me now, haven't you? I just couldn't keep it from you any longer. I felt like a fraud. Here I was pretending to be a woman and all the things that go with it and in fact, I was, well, human. Now you know the ugly truth.

I don't always shave my legs, or my armpits for that matter. Sometimes I go days....DAYS...without putting makeup on. I have been seen, in public mind you, wearing the same pair of jeans I wore the day before. I have committed the awful sin of peeing with the bathroom door open and poor, poor Russ has had to witness this. Thankfully, he forgives me these faults.

At this point I'm sure you're thinking, "Could this get any worse?" But it does. I have scars. There are scars from where I picked at scabs, despite the warnings of my mother, as a child. There are scabs from wounds I received as a result of actual physical labor as an adult, even though I know real women don't do that kind of thing. I even have some emotional scars that rear their ugly heads and make me say things that are less than, well, less than feminine.

I find myself wishing that there were someplace, a clinic or a hospital, that I could go to to get help for these glaring faults. Someone that could help me be more of a woman. Alas, all I have are articles like this: Surprising Sex-Appeal Deflators I promise that I will study hard and try to be a better example of everything a woman should be.

Is it just me?

2008-03-10T14:45:00.003-07:00

I sat down intending to write a post about something that's been bugging the crap out of me. As I wrote it I was reading it and I sounded like a petulant, selfish child. I hate petulant, selfish me. I much prefer well grounded and understanding me. I'm not sure where she is at the moment, but I think if I look hard enough I can find her. For the time being though, I'm going to indulge the five year old child that still lurks in my brain....you've been warned.

Know what I hate? I hate when people whine and whine and whine about how hard their lives are when most of the shit they have to put up with is of their own making. You know the type, the ones with no kids and expensive taste that bitch about how they never have money in the bank? The ones that go out to really expensive restaurants and have the latest "new thing" and want you to feel sorry for them because they had to pay so much for the privelge? I hate that.

Know what I hate? I hate people who talk down to me because I don't have what they think of as a "real" job. I do freelance work from home, I'm a full time student AND I'm the mother of a four year old child..who has a learning disability. Oh, and did I mention we have no medical insurance, are not on any kind of state assistance and we pay for not one, but two major medical needs each month...OUT OF POCKET??? Yeah, so shut up! I do more in one day at my "non" job than you do in your eight hour "real" job. Fuck off!

Know what I hate? I hate people who bitch about how picked on or tired or lonely or blah blah blah.....but never do a damn thing to change their own lives. I hate professional victims. I hate the constant crisis mongers. I'm sure everyone knows at least one person who doesn't seem happy unless they're moaning about how unfair at least one thing in their life is, or was, or will be. As Christopher Titus said, "Get off the cross, use the wood to build a bridge and GET OVER IT!"

Know what I hate? I hate people that tell you they've "done all their going to do" for you. What the hell does that mean anyway? That ranks right up there with "it's all in your head" and "just work through it". Of course, these very same people will never attend the educational classes you ask them to go to, or come to any of the one on one sessions you've invited them to so that they can understand what might be going on inside your life or how important the recovery process is...noooooo.......maybe we should adopt this attitude for all illnesses, how about it?

*huge sigh of relief* Okay, I think I found grown-up me. Yup, there she is. The five year old still has other things she'd like to say, but grown-up me is asserting the right to self censor before we get ourself into trouble. But hey, if your inner five year old feels like letting loose, give it a go!

Iron and Wine

2008-03-10T13:13:00.002-07:00

A boy with a coin he found in the weeds
With bullets and pages of trade magazines
Close to a car that flipped on the turn
When God left the ground to circle the world

A girl with a bird she found in the snow
Then flew up her gown and that’s how she knows
If God made her eyes for crying at birth
Then left the ground to circle the earth

A boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish he tossed in the sea
Walked to a town that all of us burn
When God left the ground to circle the world

A friend of mine recommended this guys music and this was the first song I downloaded, just by chance. It's almost haunting.

Save vs. Death

2008-03-06T16:13:00.002-07:00

The man largely responsible for the creation of Dungeons and Dragons has passed away. Gary Gygax died on Tuesday at the age of 69, much like when I learned of Madeline L'Engle's passing, this makes me sad.

Mostly, when someone of celebrity passes, I note it and then move on with my day, but occasionally someone passes that makes me stop and note a true loss to the world at large. Gary Gygax is one of those people. I was one of those kids that never really "fit". I was too smart for most of the kids my own age and to young to hang out with adults. I read, I created...I was an anomaly. And then I discovered D&D. Playing D&D I could immerse myself in a world where the creatures I read about on the pages of books came to life. I got to battle them and do things that were sometimes heroic...and sometimes not so heroic. And the best part was, there were six other people sitting at the same table who all got into it just as much as me.

Every Saturday we weren't to "smart kid" or the "weird kid" or the "dork" or the "jock" or any of the other lables forced on us by society at large. We were a group united in a common cause. We fought as one. We were friends and companions. Our world was rich and colorful and nothing could hurt us. It was a wonderful place to be. And we owed it all to a man named Gary Gygax.

So, Thanks Gary, wherever you are now. I hope there's a table waiting and a set of dice warmed up. We'll miss you!

If only I could get on Welfare

2008-03-06T01:29:00.002-07:00

Today I had to do my "interview" so we could get my son into the C.H.I.P program. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a health insurance program that is available through the state for families who make to much money to qualify for Medicaid, but not enough to pay the premiums for regular medical insurance...you know, most Americans. At the end of the interview, the young woman speaking with me said that I should be sure to get her all the required documentation in a timely manner as my family was "very close" to the income cut off. This made me ask her a question.

You see, although we are required to pay all of our bills, things like rent, heat, electricity, medical bills for myself and Russ (who is an insulin dependant diabetic) the state only uses a percentage of these things as deductions. This means that they begin by using the pretax amount of wages and then only deduct a fraction of what we actually pay out for necessity living expenses to decide whether or not my son qualifies for this program. I asked her why that was. I mean, it would be great if I could go to my landlord, the gas company and all the others and say, "Hey, we can't really afford to pay you the whole amount this month, so how does 48% sound?" Who wouldn't like to be able to do that, right? Do you know what her answer was?

"We calculate eligibility using a percentage because the fear is that if we use the whole amount people will purposely try to live above their means and then get on government programs like Medicaid and Food Stamps."

I almost choked on my tongue. Apparently the geniuses in charge think that we, the great unwashed, are just sitting out here dying to get on public assistance. They apparently believe that living on welfare is soooo attractive that we would all rush right out and con landlords into renting homes to us that we obviously couldn't afford JUST so we could get food stamps. I am slack jawed at the thought process that had to go into this.

The next thing you know someone is going to tell me people aren't really homeless, they're actually "outdoor enthusiasts".

2008-03-03T12:43:00.002-07:00

For the last two years I've spent most of my time alone with my son and my depression. Just the three of us inside the house, going nowhere fast together. We have a comfortable little routine all worked out. My days just sort of melt into each other and I know that no matter how big I talk, they aren't really going to change. I don't really have any friends, not locally, and I don't even work outside of the home at the moment. I have night classes, but it's usually just me and a screen in a white walled room, not a lot of stimulation there.

For the last few days I've been opening and closing the same document...my resume. I open it and I stare at it for a few minutes and then I close it again after I start to feel bile rise in the back of my throat. See, I have the chance to apply for a really great job. Not only a really great job, but a real job. You know, the kind that can actually be called a career? And I'm scared shitless.

I've never had a "real" job before. I've had a lot of jobs, but nothing that even comes close to what you would call a career. I haven't really been out in the world for the last two years, hell, I haven't really been a part of the world for the last four. I feel out of touch and I'm scared. Has anyone else ever felt like that?

Oh for Shame...

2008-02-29T16:18:00.003-07:00

Sitting in my little purple desk last night, waiting for class to begin my professor walks past me with a black bag. On the side of the bag it says in big red letters:

PIPELINE PIGGING

My mind automatically went somewhere very pathetic and very dirty. I really should be ashamed of myself, but somehow, after seeing what these things really are I just can't be.

Behold, the Pipeline Pig:

I'm still laughing.

Yo!

2008-02-28T15:34:00.001-07:00

Russ pointed out that I look like a wannabe gangsta' in the picture I posted. This made me laugh as it is the thing I am least likely to ever strike anyone as when they meet me in person. But the beanie, big ass sunglasses, smirk and slouch just don't do a gal any favors, do they?

Who we are...

2008-02-27T15:13:00.004-07:00

I weigh 244.4 pounds.

I like to read romance novels when I don't feel well.

I withdraw into using vicious personal attacks to protect myself when I'm angry or hurt.

I am obsessed with lotions, body or otherwise.

I collect Alice in Wonderland books.

I want to weigh 135 pounds again.

I hate thong underwear, nothing should ride up your ass crack.

I want to publish something this year, even if it's just one poem in a small literary press.

I have bad knees and an absurd sense of humour.

I have awful spelling skills for a writer.

I am an overly picky eater and I fear this will keep me from traveling.

I have recently begun forcing myself to eat new foods.

I don't wash my hair everyday.

I collect old cameras, journals and love tacky knick knacks from the fifties.

I hate to eat my vegetables and so I don't make my children eat theirs, we often eat desert first because it's more fun.

All of these things make me who I am....Who are you?

2008-02-22T12:47:00.003-07:00

Last nights assignment for class was to bring in a couple of representations of something visual. An ad, a picture, anything really. Most people brought in magazine ads. One woman brought in a parody of a pharmaceutical ad for Zoloft. Now, I take Zoloft, have for about twelve years. It manages my depression well and while I do experience some side effects from it, they aren't nearly what I got from say...Prozac?? Anyway. She starts talking about this little cartoon and I can admit it was funny, but then she says, "I brought this in because I used to work at a hospital and a lot of the people that came in as suicides were on these kinds of drugs. They make people suicidal." I almost bit my tongue in half.

I am really proud of myself for the sequence of events that followed. I waited until she was done speaking and then I waited as two other people made comments. Then I spoke up. I mentioned that I am Bipolar and that I'm on Zoloft. Then I stated that for me, being on both my medications is vitally important as they control different parts of my illness. One controls the mood swings and the mania and one controls the depression. Without one or the other I risk spiralling out of control.

What I didn't do (and this is why I'm proud) is call her an idiot who has not idea what she's talking about. I didn't point out that since she isn't trained in the field of psychiatry specifically and has no individual knowledge of the specific circumstances leading up to each and every suicide attempt making a blanket statement about the fact that people are on anti-depressants CAUSING suicide was a HUGE generalization. I didn't point out that a large part of the stigma associated with mental illness today comes from misinformation spread by people just like her. People presenting themselves as "knowledgeable professionals". I was seething on the inside, but on the outside, I was the essence of civility. Score one for me.

Do anti-depressants have side effects? Hell yes! I wake up every morning with cotton mouth. I get tingling in my hands and feet sometimes and occasionally, just for the fun of it, my left eye twitches. I am also one of the lucky few that got the sexual side effect of INCREASED libido. Joy! There are studies that have shown that anti-depressants prescribed to young adults can lead to suicidal thoughts. This is why they have begun avoiding prescribing those medications to that age category. Do medications get over prescribed? Again...Hell yes! We have become a society of the "quick fix". Give me a magic pill that will fix it now. Make it go away so I don't have to deal with it. So doctors just start writing prescriptions. Is that entirely the medical professions fault? I don't think so, I think we, as the public need to bear some responsibility for creating an environment where we aren't proactive enough in our own care any longer.

Before we make hasty judgements and generalizations about these kinds of things, we need to remember that even if a course of treatment isn't right for us, or the people in our family, it may help someone else.

Desperatly Seeking Dream Date

2008-02-21T11:20:00.007-07:00

I'm not sure how many people are reading this nonsense these days, but I have a little challenge for those of you who do. In the comments, create a short personal ad for this lovely lady:

Only Eight?

2008-02-20T14:13:00.003-07:00

According to this months Redbook there are 8 kinds of sex that every couple needs to try. I have two questions:

(1) Who decided there were only eight kinds?

and

(2) What happens once you try them all?

Discuss.

Because I can't keep my big mouth shut....

2008-02-18T14:15:00.002-07:00

I know I haven't been around in a while, but this is one of those subjects I always have to chime in on. I was surfing blogs I've been meaning to catch up on and I came across a well written post at Red Stapler. Go on over and give it a quick read.

I have more experience with real life violence than I could fit into this one little post. I was abused as a child, tormented physically and mentally by school yard bullies, got swept up into violent fights in high school and saw the aftermath of countless violent acts. When I was fifteen the little boy who lived next door to my aunt found his father's gun and shot himself in the head while playing with it. His mother and grandmother were downstairs, but because the stereo was on all they heard was a loud "bang" and thought he had fallen down. They didn't find him for two hours. I helped clean up the aftermath so the mother wouldn't have to. I know what violence in the real world looks like, feels like, smells like....believe me, it's no television show.

That being said... What your children see on televison, in movies, read in books and hear on the radio doesn't "make" them violent anymore than sex education "makes" teenagers have sex. More and more children are growing up in violent environments. These environments are stimulated by poverty, lack of education and lack of intervention. The increase in violent media is a direct reflection on the situation in our society. Also, just like overexposure to violence at an early age can desensitize a person to it, so can an overexposure to sex, even the "healthy" kind.

Some people are more violent than others. Some people aren't violent at all. Circumstances such as home environment, mental health status and support networks factor into each violent act. You also have to look at things like alcohol and drug usage, boundries set by parents, school or other appropriate interventions. To what extent did these factors influence each given person?

To blanket the entire topic with "violence is everywhere" and then lay it at the feet of popular entertainment ignores the violence children see in their homes, in their schools and even on the nightly news. We TEACH them about war and death. Every night you turn on the television and there it is, staring at you. And the difference is, no matter how you try, you can't tell your child that those people will get up, wash off the fake blood and go home.

For a lot of parents, myself included, the difference between sex and violence in movies is a simple one. Blood and guts in a movie, on televison or in a game can be explained away the same way you teach your children that just because the Roadrunner can run off a cliff, doesn't mean he or she can. It's fake. It's a costume. It's pretend.

You can't say that about sex. You can't look at your teenager and say, "Well I know it LOOKED like he had his tongue in her mouth, but really that was just a camera trick." or " I know it LOOKED like she was naked and he was rubbing her breasts, but that was just pretend."

We should be more worried about the real violence alot of these children encounter everyday than the fantasy images they see. The media saturation is a symptom, not a cause. We should also focus on the fact that although there seem to be a lot of people ranting about how violent our society is, and how the media isn't helping, precious few of us are actually willing to do the one thing that would stem the tide almost immediately. Shut off the television. Don't go to the movie. Put down the trashy magazine. Don't by the next "big thing" they publish. Call the television stations in force and tell them we want them to stop showing such blatant images of death and violence. Very few people ever go beyond the complaining stage.

We all want to be able to bitch about it, but no one wants to upset their own comfort enough to actually do anything about it. It's the new American Way. We complain and complain, but when it gets down to the brass tacks of a situation, we don't ever really do anything about it.

I've never blown a giraffe before...

2008-02-18T07:58:00.003-07:00

This weekend was spent hating the common cold, drinking lots of Alka Seltzer and watching random crap on the television. Two winners were found amid the myriad of reruns and mindless bullshit.

The first winner was The Food Network Challenge. I love watching the Food Network. I love the challenge shows and Iron Chef America. I just generally enjoy the idea that someone found a way to take food and make it EXTREME. This weekend they ran a couple of old shows I hadn't seen before and as I'm watching I hear a sentence that will make me laugh from now on. Dicussing how he will WOW the judges should he advance to the final stage of this particular competition, on contestant said, "I've never blown a giraffe before..." I'm sure there was more to the sentence, but at that point I was laughing so hard I couldn't see. Later in the same show the announcer said, in a very serious voice, "He's going to try and blow the dolphin again..." As before, I'm quite positive there was more to that statement, but the dumb ass teenager in me took over and my mind was overflowing with obnoxious comments.

The second big winner of the weekend was:

This is officially my new favorite action movie...of all time! This movie is so fucking over the top it's unbelievable. It is so improbable as to be impossible and yet it isn't cheesy. The one liners are fantastic. But the thing that cinched it for me? Clive Owen kills a guy with a carrot in the opening sequence. Yes, you read that right...he kills a man with a carrot. How can you not love a movie where the hero stabs a guy with a carrot and then says, "Eat your vegetables." ?

How was your weekend?

When the hell did I turn into a grown up?

2008-02-16T18:51:00.003-07:00

As some of you may recall, last year I had tried the vegetarian lifestyle briefly. It didn't go badly, but because I'm just generally don't eat enough vegetables, I decided cutting meat from my diet would be akin to starving myself.

Well dear readers, let me give you a glimpse into my diet as it exists today. I now eat read meat about once a month or less (unless I go out to eat, then I may have a burger), I have started eating oatmeal like I'm a little kid preparing for a long day of snow time on the playground, and just recently I switched from regular milk to soy milk. It's that last one that really has me in a tail-spin. I picked up a small carton at the grocer the other night, fully expecting to hate soy milk as much as I hate tofu. Tofu is, I believe, one of the most heinous food stuffs on the planet. It resembles something I have seen come out of my children from both ends at one time or another and tastes sort of like moldy cardboard. That being said...I LOVE the soy milk. Not sure how that works out in the Grand Scheme of Things, but there you have it.

All of this has led me to the inevitable conclusion that at some point in time I have turned into a grown up, or at least a reasonable facsimile there of. I'm not sure if I am pleased by this discovery as I kind of thought I was a little like Peter Pan, only with out the weird tights. I shall ponder this and perhaps eat a candy bar. If only to prove that I can.

(Please note: Stupid Blogger is being stupid and I can't spell check. This makes me angry and I'm to lazy to copy paste tonight. Forgive my horrid spelling)

Love is for suckers...

2008-02-14T22:26:00.003-07:00

As Valentine's Day draws to a close let's reflect on the day. I was up early, which sucked big time, and I have a cold so I felt crappy all day, but no biggie, I'll get over it so enough. I'm not a big mushy gushy kind of girl. I'm pretty simple and down to earth. This year, in plain English, I expressed the desire for a simple hand written letter from the hubby to mark the day. I made this request three weeks ago. I even told him I wasn't looking for fancy poetry or long declarations of undying love, just something simple.

Guess what I got? He waited until today and then, while I was taking a nap after the cold medication kicked in, he typed up a little note. Now, this really would have been good enough for me. I would have even been pleased with it..except...

He plagiarised a poem from some random guys website and tried to pass it off as his own. And it wasn't even a good poem. He stole a crappy poem. I guess he thought I would be more likely to believe it was really something he wrote if it sucked bad enough. And there's more...not only was it a shitty poem, it was a shitty poem this guy had written trying to sell it to a greeting card company. So it was a FAILED greeting card.

Apparently I don't even rate him sitting down and trying to write four or five lines telling me that I mean something, anything, to him. I can't even bring myself to say anything to him about it. I feel a little sick inside and a lot hurt. I feel cheap.

To quote J. Geils: " Love Stinks"

Pride Goeth

2008-02-14T06:20:00.003-07:00

Last night, after days and days of 50 degree temperatures, we got bombarded by a winter storm. It didn't just start snowing, the sky opened up and a biblical amount of snow fell on our little slice of heaven. Last night I mentioned to my dear sweet husband that perhaps he should call his friend with the big big truck and ask for a ride to work this morning. He pooh poohed me. It continued snowing and I renewed my request that he call said friend and ask for a ride to work. We've only had the car for a week and my fear was that he would slide off the road into a ditch or a telephone poll, or heaven forbid, another car. I was again pooh poohed.

Fast forward to this morning....

It is still snowing. There is now well over a foot and a half of snow on the ground and while the main roads may have been plowed, our little side street has not. As hubby shoveled the driveway, we watched one of our neighbors with a newer car with better tires get stuck in the street. It was five a.m. Still plenty of time to call friend with the big truck. More pooh poohing from hubby. I mean, what do I, the insignificant wife know. I mean, I only lived in NORTH DAKOTA for most of my friggin life, right? I couldn't possibly know anything about how a car, low to the ground, with front wheel drive and non-all season tires is going to drive on 20 some odd inches of unplowed snow... pfftt...

Fast forward again....

It is now six a.m. and husband is ready to back the car out of his carefully shovled drive. I stand in the doorway and watch. Down the drive he goes and...BAM! He hits the street and the unshovled, unplowed roadway and STUCK. Tires spinning, car not moving...stuck. I watch him for a moment, then I pick up the phone and call his boss to let him know that my idiot of a husband will be late for work. Then I put on a pair of jeans and my winter gear and out I go to help shove the car back into the driveway.

I suggest that he try to call for a ride. Nope. He picks up his shovel and, are you ready for this? He starts shoveling out into the street. I swear. He shovels a good three feet out and then gets back in the car. He goes roaring down the driveway and GETS STUCK AGAIN. Only this time he's blocking the whole street because he's at an angle. I go out again and help shove the car forward so the car coming up behind us can at least pass and then I watch as he guns himself forward inch by inch, slipping and sliding the whole way, toward work.

I don't know what pissed me off more, the fact that I had to go out, at six a.m. and push a fucking car because he wouldn't just ask for a ride, or the fact that god in all his pot smoking wisdom (because I'm a firm believer that god tokes up) allowed him to actually get to work, thus vindicating him in his eyes and making it that much harder for me to win the next argument.

(NOTE: This post was going to have pictures, but blogger is being stupid at the moment and won't let me upload. I'll have to post the pictures later, which, admittidly, is a little anti-climatic.)

And people wonder....

2008-02-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to have an appointment with my therapist today but my son has had the flu all week and I've gotten ill myself. Instead of taking a contagious disease into an office full of people I called in ten minutes prior to my appointment time and explained the situation and asked that she call me. I then waited until twenty minutes after my scheduled appointment time to call back.

This is what I was told: "She's on a crisis call, would you like her voice mail?"

If I had been there in person, she would have been in session with me and would not have been given a crisis call, but apparently, because I wasn't there, I just don't count. People wonder why men and women with mental illnesses don't seek the medical help they need, I can start a list for you if you want.

It begins with feeling marginalized. Because I have Bipolar Disorder I am often told I'm "overreacting" if I get frustrated or angry in situations where "normal" people would react the same way. I have to watch how and when I chose to allow myself to become upset. People who do things that are insensitive or rude can often blow it off and blame it on me having an "episode" so somehow it isn't really them. Even professionals do this.

How do you react to this? Where do you go with that? When you get repeatedly told that you don't get to have normal reactions to frustrating or upsetting situations, where do you take those feelings? When you, as a "normal" person get to be angry at someone, what do I as a "unbalanced" person get to do? I have to worry all the time about how I'll be received.

What a load of shit.

2008-02-06T01:52:00.000-07:00

I named my MP3 player. Whenever I get done uploading music, my computer says, "You can now disconnect SERENA."

Most days, that's exactly how I feel.

Does this meet the definition of irony?

2008-01-31T08:16:00.000-07:00

These are the three men in my life:

Yes, he really was upside down when I took this. I could write a whole blog just about him and his antics, but I think it would only be interesting to me, his father and his grandparents. But still, that face will make you smile.

This is my eternal toddler. My Melkor. This dog is the biggest baby I've ever had and the sweetest animal. He keeps my feet warm on cold nights and gives me love when I feel blue.
]
This is Russ. We've been to hell and back in the last five years. We still haven't figured out how to have that relationship you see on television where people laugh with you when you screw up and all is forgiven in thirty minutes, but we love each other and I think that's all that matters.

That's it, no profound message right now....just wanted to share some pictures.

Depression Hurts, But you don't have too

2008-01-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

I hate those commercials, I really do. They make it seem like all you have to do is pop a couple of pills and all the pain and suffocating hopelessness that goes along with depression will just magically evaporate. It just doesn't work like that, not even with medication.

Part of the reason I stopped writing this blog was because I was depressed and I didn't want to "burden" anyone else with it. After what happened yesterday I've decided to write about everything, because maybe just one person will read it and realize what's going on before it's to late.

I was lucky, there was someone home with me. Someone to call emergency personnel and get me medical attention. That saved my life...physically. What it didn't do was fix this feeling inside that I'm pretty much worthless. Is it rational? No. But it's there all the same.

Right along with it is this overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. I'm supposed to be the one people can come to. I'm supposed to be the one who knows how to fix things. I'm not supposed to be the one that messes stuff up, that's not me. Except this time it was. This time I fucked up. This time it was all on my shoulders. And I just didn't know where to go anymore.

And I still don't know where to go with it. So I'm sitting here in front of this computer, writing these words and trying to find something to hold onto that will get me through today. Then I can worry about tomorrow.

things to do on a monday

2008-01-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

(1) Go to court believing that because you're right means someone will listen and take you seriously.

(2) Get slapped in the face with reality and realize that you are an idealistic idiot who has just made a mess of her families life for nothing more than principle.

(3) Sink further into the depression you have been suffocating in for the last two weeks.

(4) swallow a bottle of pills

(5) spend the day at the emergency room drinking activated charcoal and feeling even more depressed and stupid for doing something like that.

(6) get home and deal with the reality that was still waiting for you

(7) go to class

So, how was your monday?

2008-01-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

There's an article out today talking about how consumers are locked into their cell service contracts. It likens the experience to being in jail. I read this article and just sort of grinned. You see, my family is probably one of the only remaining families on the planet without cell phones. We have recently begun discussing the possibility of purchasing a prepaid phone for emergency use, but we aren't even considering a "regular" cell phone.

This article just highlights for me one of the reasons why I don't have a cell phone. As a society we have become complacent about what we allow and how much of it we allow. It has invaded all aspects of our lives. Cell service companies, the cable company, the oil companies...they all have rights that we don't and we have allowed it to continue and even get worse without taking any real action mostly because they provide the things that make our lives EASY.

People don't actually NEED cell phones or cable and I'm living proof that you can survive by car-pooling or taking public transit.

How did it get this bad? And how much more of our lives are we going to concede before we stand up and say, enough is enough?

2008-01-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

I love my kid. That's it, I don't have anything else to say tonight.

And then there was silence......

2008-01-17T15:30:00.001-07:00

Let me just start by saying: "Please don't ask me where I've been." The answer to that question would require several long, complicated, drawn out blog posts and I just don't feel like going into it. I'm sure that over time the saga will leak out in bits and pieces that will make you go, "What the fuck was that all about?" Let's just leave it at that.

So, for now, let me just say...I kind of missed you guys. I missed having a sounding board. I missed seeing your smiling little faces. I just missed everything.

2007-09-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

The author of one of my favorite series of books has passed away. I usually don't say anything about the passing of a celebrity because I don't know them personally, but this saddened me a bit.

Madeleine L’Engle, you will be missed. I will share your work with my children and my grandchildren. I will carry your memory in my heart. You made my life brighter and I am sad that you are gone.

I remember with clarity the first time I read "A Wrinkle in Time". I remember how excited I was when I finished it. I remember rushing to the library to get the next book. I remember feeling that same rush of excitement last month when I read it again.

Madeleine L’Engle did what I hope to do as a writer some day, she inspired imagination. She sparked creativity and a passion for dreams. Madeleine L’Engle was a builder of worlds and an architect of futures.

If you have never read her books I encourage you to do so. If you read them as a child I encourage you to read them again. Read them to your children. Read them to your grandchildren. Read them to your nephews and your nieces and your neighbors children. Volunteer at a local school and read them to a classroom full of wide eyed fourth graders. Share this marvel with a whole new generation.

Madeleine L’Engle you will be missed.

A topic I seem to discuss a lot.....

2007-09-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

Since I started college again, I haven't really been doing a lot of blogging. Today, I was reading over at CUSS and at the end of the post Suzanne asks that anyone that supports Planned Parenthood blog about it. I think I will.

Planned Parenthood is a good program. If it received more funding and wasn't restricted by so many nonsensical things it could do more good. People who make the assertion that giving away free condoms will urge teenagers to have sex are just morons. There's no other way to say it. Teenagers are going to have sex, teenagers have always had sex. Not giving them birth control isn't going to make a sixteen year old boy who's about to get some go, "Oh, wait. I should stop and consider what this might do to my future." (As I type this I am making a very unladylike noise...you know the one, the *phtt* "AS IF" noise...)

Planned Parenthood often does what most REAL parents are not willing to do. It talks to teens about sex. More importantly, it provides services to more than just teenagers.

Now.....

Earlier in the post, Suzanne talks about how the "pro-life" groups amount to nothing more than terrorists. On one level I agree with her. The people you read about in the paper and see on the news are horrid people, concerned more about their own political or religious views than they are about doing any real good for anyone. But it is important to remember, that just like the fact that the picture painted of "pro-choice" groups in the media isn't accurate, the picture painted of the other side is blown out of proportion a bit as well.

I have met some of these "save the baby, no matter what" people. I know they exist, but I also know several people who are right to life because they firmly believe that those children would be loved by a family, even if it isn't the woman who gives birth to them. They believe that these women should be given adequate access to health care during their pregnancy. Emotional support should be made available and that they should be given financial support if it is necessary. They also believe that education, to prevent another unwanted pregnancy from occurring, is vital.

Calling ALL pro-life individuals terrorists, is like calling people on the pro-choice side murderers. I could make a case for that. It wouldn't make it accurate or true, but I could make a strong, fact based, rational argument for it...using things I've seen in the media and examples from personal experience. It boils down to this: Not everyone is a fucked up as the people you see on the news.

Still not done......

I'm really, really hoping that the portion of Suzanne's post where she talks about the unborn being easy to care about because they're quiet was meant to be slightly sarcastic. If not, it's highly offensive. I've had children. Five of them. Two were planned, three were not. One was in my teens. One in my twenties. And the last three in my thirties. I know exactly what being pregnant will do to your body at most stages of life. I know it's a hell of a lot easier being pregnant at 18 than it is at 35. I also know that just because a child is unborn, doesn't make it "quiet". Unwanted or not, it's a human being. Unwanted or not, it is a CHILD.

I want everyone reading this to know that I'm firm in this belief. It's very easy to talk clinically about "when life begins". Bravo for advanced society. What I don't hear anyone talking about is the fact that we have dehumanized the killing of a person. There, I said it. If you were to read in a newspaper or see on the news about some person hunting down and cutting unborn children from their mother's wombs, you would think, "murderer". I have heard people, time and time again, make the argument that if a person kills a pregnant woman they should be charged with the murder of the unborn child as well. Why? Because someone WANTED that child? Is that what it takes to make the difference between "ending a pregnancy" and "murder"?

When you denigrate human life by saying that abortion is okay because it's "not really" a person, you steal humanity from us. Throughout history I can point you to cases where horrible atrocities have occurred using that very same argument. Our own nations history is peppered with them. "It's okay, they don't really count." It demoralizes our society, it makes it easier for our young people to rationalize bad choices and it is, at it's core, an empty argument. There are those of you reading this that are poised and ready to type,"It isn't the same thing. Those were..." Go one, finish the sentence...those were... "people". So are the unborn. They may not be able to walk among us, but they are people. And the choice we talk about so freely is never given to them. While we are in such a rush to protect the woman who didn't want to be pregnant...while we're in such a hurry to protect her right to have sex when she wants, with whoever she wants, as often as she wants...with no responsibility...we have stopped giving a DAMN about the child no one wants.

Except there are plenty of people who do want them. There are literally thousands and thousands of families out there waiting for some woman to be kind enough to provide them with the one thing they can not get for themselves...a child. I never hear anyone talk about adoption. I hear plenty of, "who pays for the diapers? who pays for daycare?" Who says she has to KEEP the baby? Where is that option? In the grand argument for choice? Where is THAT argument? No where to be found.

It boils down to, a woman shouldn't be "forced" to be pregnant. Fine. If you want to be pro-choice, great. Be pro-choice. I've said before that as long as it's a legal option, women should have access to it. But do NOT insult those of us who have chosen to give our children life. Do not dare to even whisper that those babies were less human. Part of the choice in "pro-choice" is taking responsibility for the fact that you are ending a human life. You can't have one without the other. You don't get to be all comfortable and safe and say that you aren't really supporting "that". You are. And if you're okay with it, for whatever reason...fine. But be big enough to stand behind it.

I have had three unexpected pregnancies in my life. Each time they disrupted my life. Financially, physically, emotionally. Each time I have had long standing, far reaching consequences. And each time I have made a CHOICE. I chose to give my children life. I chose to find a loving family for my children. I was a mother first, a woman second.

I take great offense when I hear people talk about the unborn as though they have no value. It angers me. It hurts me. It makes me want to scream. And it makes me cry.

The unborn are not silent. The unborn are not less valuable than the person sitting next to you. It makes me sick to my stomach that our society cares more about it's animals than it does about it's children. Don't believe me? I can point you to hundreds of "animal cruelty" websites designed to prevent me from eating that poor helpless cow up the street, but when I try to point out that abortion ends human life? Suddenly I'm an evil anti-woman throw back that wants to prevent women from having free choice over their own bodies. Chew on that one for a while.

2007-08-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

Before I get into this post I want to say a couple of things. First I want to say to one person in particular who may be reading this: Nothing you are about to read is aimed at you. You have never been anything but kind and thoughtful. You have been loving and supportive and more wonderful than I can ever tell you. Please do not think for a moment that I believe you minimize me or trivialize my feelings or importance. I have been lucky in the extreme. Our's is the example all others should follow. There would never be another bad experience if everyone took the time you have.

Second: I want to say that I acknowledge and understand the very real pain, frustration and depression that parents trying to adopt go through. I have seen it in the eyes of women I know. I am not trying to downplay that. I am not trying to minimialize that. That is not what I want to talk about right now.

Recently I overheard a slice of conversation. It is not the first such slice of conversation I have heard and I do not kid myself by thinking it will be the last. Two women were discussing a family member who had recently had an adoption fall through. One of them fairly hissed the word "birthmother" like it was dirty in her mouth. They spoke about the woman who had changed her mind as if she were vile and loathsome, full of evil, cunning and hate. It made my stomach roil. I actually felt as if I were about to vomit.

Because I understood the pain they were feeling on behalf of their loved one I kept my mouth shut. On the inside I was screaming. Crying out on behalf of the woman they were scorning so casually. They were talking about her as if she had no right to the child she gave birth to. As if by simply considering adoption she had lost all rights to call that child her own. I wanted to lash out.

Any of you who read here regularly will know that I have placed three children for adoption in my lifetime. One at the age of nineteen and two in the last two years. None of the adoptions were easy for me and I have in my possesion journals filled with page after page of anger, self loathing, jealousy, hatred, self doubt, self pity, bitterness, depression and venom soaked words aimed at a world I could not understand. All the pages are dotted by my own tears.

The thing I wanted most to tell these women was that simply because a woman considers or even goes through with an adoption does not make her any less a mother. What makes a woman a mother isn't a piece of legal documentation. You can't snatch up a baby, holler, "Mine!" like it was a baby doll on a playground and run off expecting that the other person, the one who gave birth to the child, will have no further feelings. And yet I see it over and over again. I see adoptive families that talk about birthparents like an afterthought. They talk about them like they did some huge favor and, "Oh wasn't that nice of them...but their gone now." I don't know that it's intentional, which is why I never say anything, but it's insulting, to say the least.

I'm sure that someone will point out to me that there are situations where the birthmothers don't care. That some children are taken from their natural parents. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about women like me. Women who, for one reason or another know that we can not provide the best home for our children. For me it was knowing that without access to consistent medical care for my Bipolar Disorder the stress of having three children under age three in the house would likely push me into a state where I would end up dead or permenantly hospitalized. I had to weigh the welfare of not just the two infants, but the two already at home.

When I signed those papers, I didn't stop loving my children. I stopped being their parent, but I will never stop being their mother. That never stops. That love never goes away. Every day I think about them. Every day I wonder how they are. Every day I thank God for finding a safe and loving home for them. Signing those papers took away my legal right to have a say in how they are raised and to obtain information about them. It didn't take away my right to love them.

When a woman who has said she will place a child for adoption changes her mind it is often because she can not face that very thing. There is a terror there. How can I be sure? If I don't have the legal right to know that these people are treating my child well, that my child is safe and healthy, how do I know? What will I do if I find out later that something happened? What if they turn out to be abusive? What happens if they die and my child ends up with someone I don't even know? Can you even imagine that terror? Or the guilt that goes with it?

Its hard enough trying to find the words to explain to this precious little life why you couldn't keep it. Why you gave it to someone else to love, protect, cherish and watch grow. How do you find those words? Where do you even begin to look for them? For some women, there are no words and trying to contemplate finding them hurts so badly, they simply stop the process. It becomes easier to deal with the unwanted pregnancy than to deal with the aftermath of placing a child.

The after effect of placing a child for adoption is just like losing a child to death. You go through the same grief process.

Yet when a woman changes her mind she is viewed as a hideous monster. Lower than low. How could she hurt someone that way? How could she cause such pain and torment?

Who cries for her? Who heals her broken heart? No one.

As birthmothers we sign a piece of paper and we leave the hospital and that is that. We are expected to walk away from a living breathing child and never look back. There is no counseling offered, no support. Even what is called "open adoption" isn't really open. Most often it amounts to a letter and some pictures once or twice a year. We are cut out of the childs life forever. We have no place in that world.

The next time you read a story or hear about a birthmother who has changed her mind, think about this story before you judge her harshly. Think about your own feelings as a parent and what you would do if someone asked you to simply walk away from one or all of your children without looking back. How easy would it be for you?

2007-08-24T07:55:00.001-07:00

I covet. Not just one thing. There are several things I covet. I have found that in my dark corners I have secret yearnings. I feel I must confess this sin.

Furniture from IKEA. The funky chairs. The oddly shaped couches. The sleak-lined beds. The endless supply of storage boxes. I want it all.

Books. The feel of them. The smell of the ink on the pages. I don't want e-books or audio books. I want the real thing. Hard bound. Soft bound. Trade size. Mass market paper back. Childrens books. Young Adult. Science Fiction. Non-fiction. I read it all.

Disney World Vacations. Odd? Yes, I know. I sit and day dream about spending a week in this magical place. It calls to me. The brightly colored commercialism. The sureity that I won't have to do anything. The laughter. The fun. I want it.

You may be thinking that I have used the wrong word to describe my feelings for these things.

To Covet:

cov·et /ˈkʌvɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhv-it] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others: to covet another's property.
2. to wish for, esp. eagerly: He won the prize they all coveted.
–verb (used without object) 3. to have an inordinate or wrongful desire.

I lust for these things. Against all my better judgement. I practically drool when I think of them. I am jealous of those I know that have the them.

I am a sad, sad shell of a human being.

Because when you're rich "Crazy" becomes "Eccentric"

2007-08-23T18:10:00.001-07:00

Let's face it, if you went to pick up one of your friends for a night out on the town and she was dressed in a white bikini, Jedi cape and Velvet Muk-Luks, you would have her checked for drug usage.

I give a big thumbs up to Bia Ling. She's either crazy as the day is long or she just doesn't give a shit! Either way, I love her!

Debtor's Prison....An Idea whose Time has come Again?

2007-08-23T08:26:00.001-07:00

As I was reading the news this morning, there was an article about the Fed slashing the rate charged to the nation's "least credit worthy commercial banks". Apparently this was done in response to pressure received from Wall Street and the White House and was supposed to help the Economy. The consensus seems to be, however, that it will have the opposite effect.

About half-way through the article there's a link that says:

Talk back: Time to bring back debtors prison?

I stared at this for a moment, stunned. Was the person that wrote this serious? Surely no one could think this would be a good idea. Curious now, I clicked the link. Sadly, there were actually people who thought it might be a good idea. They were limiting it to the housing area, but seemed oblivious to the larger picture.

Walk with me down this twisted path, won't you?

Tomorrow the United States Government reinstates "debtor's prison" making it a criminal offense to renege on a debt. This offense is punishable by time in a federal prison. It is meant to keep people from taking on debt they can not realistically hope to sustain. (Because we all know how good Americans are at preventing crime....that's why there are NO drunk drivers in this country, right? Because people KNOW it's illegal.)

Now, the law goes into effect and suddenly Joe down the street is being arrested. You look at your spouse and you say, "I didn't know Joe was behind on his mortgage payment." Your spouse replies, "Oh he wasn't. Last year Little Sally got sick and they had some medical bills they couldn't pay. That's what he got arrested for."

Two days later your at work and Tammy, the girl in the next cubicle, doesn't come back from lunch. You inquire about what happened to her. Your coworker says to you in hushed tones, "Oh, didn't you hear? Last winter she ran up a huge gas bill that she hasn't paid off. She got arrested for it."

How about that movie you forgot to return? The library fine you forgot you had? The teenager that writes a bad check? Let's not even get started on credit card debt....

Meanwhile, you start to notice that there aren't any wealthy people being arrested, even that guy down the street that you KNOW hasn't made his house payment in six months because he's paying alimony to three wives. Why? Because he can pay an attorney.

Debtor's prisons punish the poor simply for being poor. It's why they were done away with in the first place. Instead of even entertaining a discussion about bringing back such an arcahic and useless system, we should be discussing the real problems. Credit card companies that extend credit to people when they know those people can not possibly make the amount of money required to pay off the balances in a realistic amount of time. Mortgage companies that will offer finance rates that suddenly change, thus making a home look affordable when it really isn't.

And the most important factor? Teaching people to live with in their means. Sure you might be able to afford a $3800.00 house payment, but can you still afford a $3800.00 house payment when you add in the actual cost of the home? The electricity, gas, water and upkeep on a home that size? Does your family really NEED a home that size? Do you need five credit cards? Why not save up for what you need?

Most banks offer pre-paid Visa or MasterCard that can be used to shop online or take on vacation. Keep one that you use for emergencies or hotel reservations and car rentals if needed.

It's called Common Sense.

I am hereby forming the Citizens Coalition for Common Sense. If you join, it will be your job to scoff openly at the idiotic lack of common sense in society today. When you see someone doing something blatantly stupid it will be your job to laugh openly, but not explain why your laughing. More importantly, it will be your job to work for the implementation of Common Sense in everyday life.

They say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well it's broke...we need to fix it. FAST.

Who do we blame?

2007-08-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend and we ended up discussing the topic of the culture of excess that thrives in our nation. As a country was have come to rely on things that are not actually necessary to our everyday survival and that self entitlement thought pattern is passing into our younger generations.

We treat luxury items like they are everyday necessities and worse a vast majority of people don't stop to think about how what they buy and the price they pay for it effects the overall picture.

Stay with me on this for a moment. I've had this discussion before, most memorably with a co-worker who wanted to buy a Rolex. I asked why. His answer? "Well, because it's a Rolex." He was confused that I didn't understand his desire for this item. I asked him if a Rolex told better time than a $24.99 Timex. He looked at me like I was stupid,"No, but it's a Rolex." Then I asked him if perhaps magical elves were making the watches and that's what made them special. He snorted at me and said, "Now you're just being stupid." I shrugged and said, "Well, if you're wanting to spend 10,000 on a watch I don't know that that makes me the stupid one." He didn't talk to me for about a week.

I hear people talk all the time about how hard they work for their money and how they deserve to have the nice things in life, but I often wonder what that means. Does spending $100 on a pair of jeans make them better or more special? Does having a particular name stiched into the back of your shirt make you a better person?

Most of these same people talk about the good works they do. The charities they support. I can't help thinking that if they weren't spending $200 on a single shirt, they could have helped more. I will never make a good rich person. I just don't understand the mind-set.

The only reason stores like Abercrombie and Fitch or Banana Republic can charge what they do is because people pay the prices. If no one shopped there, you can damn well bet the prices would be much lower.

How does this effect the big picture? Think about it for a minute. Why do you suppose so many young people are looking for a way to make money quickly? Why do you think teenagers look down their noses at jobs that pay minimum wage? There's a culture in our society now that says that to be successful you must wear Item A and own Item B. To fit in with the people who matter you have to look one way, act one way, smell one way.....and the majority of people don't even question it.

My husband has three pairs of Doc Martin boots, several designer lable shirts and jeans and I have a few myself. You want to know where I got them? At the used clothing store. I paid no more than $5.00 for each piece in the closet.

We talk a lot in todays world about how to make things better for the people who don't make that much. How about simply making it so that everyone can afford to live? Stop paying for the $300 shoes and the $40,000 cars. If no one bought them....

The next time you go shopping and you reach for something, stop a moment and think about what you're buying and how much you're paying for it. Think about why you're buying that particular brand. Maybe if more of us start thinking about the little things we do everyday we can bring a larger sense of social conscieness back into our world.

The Mayo Clinic and You: What Are You and Your Family Dying of Today?

2007-08-16T16:46:00.001-07:00

The Mayo Clinic Website has this handy little symptom checker so you can go online and find out if the symptoms you, your spouse or your children are suffering from are serious.

A little information is a dangerous thing my friends. Go play with this thing for a while. Pick a symptom, any symptom and then chose some things. It gives you a list of matching illnesses ranging from the mundane to the OH MY GOD I'M DYING!!!

Here's the problem with this thing. There are a lot of people out there that aren't going to notice that the list of accompanying symptoms that go with the illnesses listed are MANY and that the ones you choose are in bold face type. If only one or two of these is in bold, chances are you don't have that...if all of them are in bold, well then, okay you can panic.

Seriously fun though. Go ahead and see how many different ways you can kill off you and yours. So far I've had about fifteen serious life threatening illnesses. Good times!!!

Whine Whine Whine

2007-08-16T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was watching television the other day when all of a sudden I was looking at the face of this little bald headed girl. There was a voice over begging me to send money to help keep her alive. Cancer, of course.

I'm so tired of all the articles I see and the non-profits begging for my money. I mean seriously, who cares if you have cancer or diabetes or lupus or any of the other fifty thousand "life threatening" illness that seem to plague our country.

I don't know these people, but someone really needs to tell them that everyone has problems and we really don't give a damn about theirs. I don't want to have to look at any more coffee cans in convenience stores with badly photocopied pictures taped to them, a sob story scrawled out in some family members shaky handwriting, "Bob is dying. He has three kids. Won't you help?"

Who cares? Jesus, suck it up. Move on with your life. Get over yourself.

By this point I'm sure that anyone reading this is either waiting for the punchline or so pissed off they can't see straight. Furiously composing scathing replies to my callous treatment of those in our society afflicted with life threatening illnesses.

I would never speak that way to or about someone with any of those illnesses. Yet I receive that same treatment from society on a regular basis. I have Bipolar Disorder and because my illness doesn't come with a tumor, a disfiguring surgery or a string of sympathy inducing commercials I hear, "Well it's not really that big a deal, is it?" or "Just get over it. It's all in your head anyway."

I can't get health insurance that will cover the cost of treatment or medications. I'm not eligible for protection under FMLA should I have a serious episode that causes missed work. My medications cost over $400 a month out of pocket so I have to buy a month, ration it to make it last for three and then buy it again. This means I can't function the way I would if I were treated properly, but because I have the medication I don't qualify for benefits like disability.

I wish that mental illness came with some hideous physical side effect, something that would make it obvious to those of you in society that don't live with it what it is and that it's real. I wish I could find the words to describe what real depression is like.

Everyone gets funked out sometimes. We all have crappy days at work or fights with our families and friends and sometimes the stress of life just weighs on us and we feel down. That passes. I'm talking about being trapped inside your own mind. Hearing your own voice in your head telling you to get up...move...do something..anything....and not being able to respond. I'm talking about staring down at a bottle of pills and thinking, for even a brief moment, that if you swallowed them you'd just drift off to sleep and never have to feel this way again.

I watch the news and I see the stories about mothers killing their own children and I feel a terror grip my heart. I know what it feels like to be so mired in darkness that the world seems hopeless. I know how it feels to want to die because you can't see a clear path through. And I know that if those women had access to reliable and affordable care for their problems and support from society, the tragedies could have been avoided.

With Bipolar you get the upswings too and everyone thinks you're the life of the party. They don't see the other side of it. Days without sleep. Outbursts of irrational and uncontrolled anger. Impulse control issues that can lead to risky behavior. Embarrassment because when it's all over you know you've said or done something that has upset or hurt someone else and they expect you to apologize. So you apologize and you feel humiliated. And you know it won't be the last time.

And the whole time you're watching yourself, like a bad movie you can't shut off. You're screaming inside because you want it to stop, but you can't make it go away. So you look at that bottle of pills again and you pray. You pray for the strength to get up tomorrow. You pray for the strength to take that next breath. You pray that tomorrow will be a "good" day.

And you smile. You smile so the people around you won't have to struggle to find something to say to you. You smile so no one will look at you like your defective. You smile so everyone will think your "normal"...because, after all.....it's only in your head, right?

Two Whole Weeks....

2007-07-18T14:33:00.000-07:00

I bet ya thought I died and went to Blogger Heaven, huh?

Nothing quite so terrible. I've just been, well, for lack of a better word, sad. And more than a little distracted. And a lot scatter brained. And a whole list of other things that have long names and medications to go along with them. None of which are contagious.

This would be one of those times my therapist would accuse me of using humor to deflect the real issue. To which I say: Damn Straight! At least I'm not drunk and dancing on the bar of the local biker hang out. (Hey, don't laugh, that happened once. I made $800 bucks)

Anyway, I'm back and mostly in place. Next time I promise to leave a forwarding address.

Silence Can Be Golden

2007-07-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

Every time I go to send an email, or leave a small comment something stops me. I've decided to listen to that little voice that's whispering in my ear. I've written three carefully worded emails and started countless comments and each one has ended up in the "delete" box.

The lesson I've learned from this experience is simple. Sometimes you don't have to say anything. Sometimes it's okay to just disagree silently. The issue that I was having a problem with wasn't earth shattering and after I thought about it for a while I decided that because it was an issue based mostly in emotion my saying something would create tension and possibly ruin a friendship I have come to treasure. I decided that saying my piece wasn't as important as keeping that friend. It was a good feeling.

This experience has been a unique one for me. It showed me that those times when I chose to step forward and make my opinions known I really am doing it for a reason and not just to hear myself talk.

I guess you could call that maturity. Who would have guessed?

To snipe or not to snipe.....that is the question.

2007-07-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been faced with a situation where you wanted to say something but everytime you tried it came out blundered and somewhat addled? I find myself in that very situation. Mostly this is because the comment that set me off was made by someone I respect and what I want to say I want to say without sounding condesending or snide, both of which I have been accused of doing on more than one occassion.

I started to leave comments several times and then stopped because the comments were either to abbreviated to make the point as clearly as I wanted or to long to be polite. So then I slept on it. This morning I sat down and typed out a nice long email, which I promptly decided would be taken as a chastisment and so I saved it as a draft, but did not send it because I do not want this person to think I am chastising them....although I suppose I am in a way.

This is an odd place for me to be in folks. I'm a very shoot from the hip kind of girl. Remember, I'm the woman that publically lambasted a total stranger for not watching her child closely enough. Is this maturity? Is this concern for anothers feelings? Or am I just being a wuss? Have I suddenly turned wuss-like? Did someone slip something into my Cheerios this morning? What the hell has happened to me?

I'm going to have to go back and mull this over. I'll get back to you with the resolution.

Because sometimes, even your crack needs a little help....

2007-07-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

This has been a long, trying weekend. I needed just one really good laugh. I got it.

And now, I'm going to share it with you.

Yes, it's a real product. And it's just one more example of why every product name should be passed by a panel of 13 year old boys first. If they laugh it's time to change the name.

The Seperation of Church and State

2007-06-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

As I did my morning reading I caught a piece over at C.U.S.S that made me start to think. Before you read this post, please pop over and read the one that inspired it:

The Blind Scalias of Justice

After reading the post I opened the comment window and began to type. When I reached my third paragraph I decided what I had to say was better done here so as not to clog the comment section with ramblings.

I agree that the men and women who are appointed to our courts are not always fair and impartial as they are supposed to be by law. I also think that that is to be expected. I do not know a single human being who does not make decisions and judgements based on their beliefs. We all do it whether we are Christian or not. I do think that the men and women appointed to our highest court tend to represent our Presidents mindset. I think that this is something that needs to be changed. In fact, I'm pretty much of the belief that if our government doesn't get a complete overhaul soon we're going to end up in the middle of our very own Second Civil War within the next twenty to fifty years....but that's a different post.

The topic that brings us here today my friends is the so called "separation of church and state" that supposedly appears in our Constitution. This is a debate that has been raging for as long as I can remember and until very recently I was on the "it's in the Constitution" side. And then I actually ran into someone who had made it part of their life's work to study the Constitution and it's framers and let me tell you , I got schooled.

Simple Fact Number 1: The phrase "Separation of Church and State" does not appear anywhere in our Constitution. It is not in the main text. It is not in the Bill of Rights. It simply isn't there.

Simple Fact Number 2: The founding fathers of this country were not trying to prevent a theocracy. They were trying to ensure that the people of this country would have the freedom to choose whatever religion they wanted.

If you read the First Amendment the wording is fairly clear:

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Now a lot of you are immediately going to go for my jugular, "It's right there Serena, it says : Congress shall make NO LAW..." And you would be right, but read it....really read it. It says that Congress won't make any laws with respect to the ESTABLISHMENT of religion or laws that would prohibit the free exercise of that religion. It does not say that Congress will define a clear line between the government and any religion.

When we get all bent out of shape because some conservative twit has done something stupid, we have to remember, he or she isn't breaking any laws. They are just being a twit. If we get angry because some asshole has tried to get a law passed that will infringe upon our basic rights, we need to stop blaming religion and start fighting back.

It's important to remember that every time we rage about "those damn Christians" they aren't the only religious group seeking and receiving preferential treatment from the government. Right now they are the loudest, but they aren't the first and they won't be the last. Even Atheists aren't above running to the courts to ask them to intervene.

Should government be separate from religion? Hell yes. Religion muddies the waters. It taints rational decisions with the murk of morality. Will it ever happen? Not until people learn to accept the flaws inherent in themselves. The search for "moral perfection" and the need to push that on others comes from the basic drive in the human species, the need to explain away the ugly and evil things that happen.

When we were cavemen it was the lightening in the sky and the sound of thunder that needed an explanation. Today it's child molesters, mother's who kill their own children, war that kills thousands, drugs that eat our children alive. People need an explanation for these things and God and the Devil provide a way to explain it. Looking inward and pointing that moral finger at ourselves would be to painful. Our society isn't ready for it yet. And so they thump their Bibles much like cavemen thumped their chests. The next time you hear that thump coming your way, stand up and thump back.

EDIT:

Below is a link to a page on the Library of Congress website. Here you will find the text of Jefferson's Letter to the Danbury Baptists. This letter contains in it the phrase "separation of church and state" and has been used to help set the precedent that is used today when a person or group has an issue that involves religion. When atheist groups sue to have social groups removed from schools based on religious function, when Jehovah's Witnesses sue to prevent teachers leading classes in the Pledge of Allegiance because it violates their religious code, when American Indians want the right to follow age old religious traditions that violate current Federal or State laws, when Christians sue to keep the ten commandments on display in a clearly secular setting. In any case where a person or group feels a local, state of federal agency has overstepped it's bounds, this is the document that has been held up to establish that our founding fathers did indeed intend a clear and lasting division between the two:

Jefferson's Letter to the Danbury Baptists

I've read this document before and did not mention it because I don't feel that it really fit the topic at hand. Jefferson clearly upholds the idea that our government should not be allowed to interfere in the establishment of a religion or the practice of a persons chosen religion, but does it say clearly that all of the founding fathers, and not Jefferson alone, felt that the men and women in our government should never use their own moral and ethical values as a guiding compass?

Where does that line blur? Would it be okay if the decisions being made matched more closely with the opinions you held? Would the religious beliefs of the person making those decisions then become less of an issue? Exactly how do you separate religion from government completely?

2007-06-27T21:51:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I'm simply stunned by the sheer lack of knowledge (I'm trying to be less of a bitch) that I encounter in my everyday life. Today was one of those days.

I had to get groceries today so off to Wal-Mart I went. My bill came to $62.00 and some change so I handed the girl behind the counter a $100 dollar bill. She got a very confused look on her face. She looked down at her counter. She held the bill up to the light. She looked down at her counter again. She held the bill up to the light again. She turned to the cashier next to her and said, "What should I do? I don't see the little security strip? I don't have one of those marker thingies."

At this point I said, "If it's going to be that big of a deal I can give you a newer bill, one with the BIG face on it."

She turned back around, looking very relieved and handed me the bill back....and then she actually thanked me. I handed her a bill with the large, off center face of Benjamin Franklin on it. She didn't try to find her little pen, she didn't check for the security strip, she simply put the bill in her drawer and gave me the change. All because it had the BIG face on it.

I couldn't help myself, as I was leaving I said, "You know hun, they did actually make money BEFORE the year 2005." I don't think she appreciated my humor.

All of this confusion was caused by a $100 dollar bill minted in 1985 which I was given by my bank last Friday. I will be exchanging it tomorrow lest I give some poor unsuspecting cashier an aneurysm.

Bitch...Unleashed (part II)

2007-06-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

So, having enjoyed 1408 and feeling in the mood for some shopping we proceed out into the sunny glow of capitalism that is a Saturday at an outdoor mall. We head to Anthropologie because they have the best lotions and perfumes. (Please see post where I confess to being obsessed with all things lotion and skin related....) I got these wonderful little perfume solids from crazy libellule and the poppies .

Content with my purchases I leave the store to find Stehpanie standing outside waiting for me and I notice a small child sitting on the sidewalk in front of Buckle. No parent in sight. Stephanie mentions that she's been watching this child for five minutes and has yet to see a parent. I start looking around and I notice a blond woman inside the store. I ask the child if that is her mommy. The child replies that yes, it is indeed her mother. At this point I can feel my dander rising. I go and stand next to the child and look at the woman. She eventually makes eye contact with me, looks at the child and then......she goes back to shopping! I'm dumbfounded. I continue to stand there thinking that perhaps this bleach bottle blond just hasn't processed the information yet. She looks at me again. Again we make eye contact. Again she looks at her child. And AGAIN she goes back to shopping. This time she actually walks all the way to the back of the store and into the dressing rooms to look at herself in the mirror. At this point I get pissed.

I turn to Stephanie and I say, "Watch this child please," and I step into the store. The over tanned, underfed wonder mom sees me coming and she stops. We lock eyes. I say, "Excuse me, is that your child on the sidewalk outside?" She pulls a face and says, "That's none of your business." I cock my head to the side and say, "Yes, actually it is. Do you have any idea how easy it would be for someone to just walk off with her?"

Now she's pissed off. She slaps her well manicured hands onto her boney ass hips and snaps, "It's none of your fucking business and besides, my daughter is watching her." I smile evenly and reply, "Would this be the same daughter that is standing next to you inside the store watching you try on clothes?" There is a sharp intake of breath and said teenage daughter says, "Chill out would you?" This does not help calm me down. We have attracted the attention of everyone in the store and several people on the sidewalk. She looks angry and embarrassed. I say, "You need to watch your child or you're going to end up being one of those families on the evening news crying for your child back. If you won't go get her off that sidewalk, I'll go find a police officer and you can explain it to him." Her stunning reply? "Why don't you find something better to do with your time, like eat a cheeseburger?" This is obviously a comment aimed at my weight, because apparently she believes everyone in the world is as shallow as she is. I smile and say, "Why don't you try watching your children instead of getting a tan?" and walked off to find a police officer.

I located a mall security officer and had him get me a Salt Lake City police officer. I made a report and he returned to the store. I would have loved to have been there when he showed up.

Later that day I had a thought, "One of these days I'm going to get punched." I'd do it again though.

Bitch....Unleashed

2007-06-25T07:48:00.000-07:00

Common courtesy has died a slow and painful death in our society.

I went to a movie on Saturday with Stephanie. The theater makes you purchase reserved seats like you would at a concert. I can understand the point behind this. It makes it handy if you purchase online for a night out with the family or purchase a head of time for a major release, like the upcoming Harry Potter. You get to pick where in the theater you want to sit and you know you and your date/family are guarenteed seats without hassle.

So Stephanie and I pick our seats, get our goodies and go in and sit in our reserved type seating. Behind us are three women. I noticed them because they were giggling. Well, not so much because they were giggling, but because they were old enough to be my mother and they were giggling loud enough to be my teenage daughter. Just before the movie starts a young couple (early teens, late twenties) walks into their aisle. The young woman says, "I'm sorry, but I think you might be sitting in our seats." She was very polite. She kept her voice low, trying not to embarass the other women. One of the ladies looks up, laughs and says, "Yeah, well there were people sitting in our seats so we just took these." She and her companions made no attempt to move. The young woman got upset and left. She didn't do anything to claim her seats. At this point, I turned around, looked directly at the three women and said, " You would think some people would be old enough to know better. I mean you expect that kind of behavior from teenagers, but from grown women? Common courtesy really has died a slow, painful death in our society, hasn't it?" The women laughed nervously, but the noise level in the row died down and they started fidgeting and looking around.

I felt a great sense of satisfaction.

Stay tuned for Bitch...Unleashed, part II (oh yes, it gets better....)

2007-06-22T10:07:00.001-07:00

Big article out today about doctors refusing care to women based on their personal belief systems. The article has, at one point, a headline which reads:

"An ethical dilemma"

In this portion of the article we meet Sandy Christiansen, M.D., an ob/gyn in Frederick, Maryland. She says that providing services that are legal, like abortion referrals, EC and even birth control cause an "ethics problem" for her. She says that, "Doctors are people, too," she adds. "We have to be able to leave the hospital and live with ourselves. If you feel in your heart an action would cause harm to somebody — born or unborn — it's legitimate to decline to participate."

Here's what I have to say to that. If you feel that you're a "christian" doctor, then you need to advertise yourself as such. You need to tell your patients up front that if they come to you they had better be on the same moral footing as you, believe the same things as you and be living the perfect little Christian life that you seem to be saying you're living.

When you simply hang out a shingle that says OB/GYN on it and allow any woman to make an appointment, regardless of what her beliefs might be, she has the right to expect she will receive access to all legal medical options allowed her in this country, including the ones that don't jive with your self-righteous mind-set. You want to ride the high moral tide? Great! Then your ad in the yellow pages better read something like this:

"Christian OB/GYN. Will not give patients access to most modern procedures. Believes self to be above reproach and has developed a God complex that allows self to make moral judgements of others that will govern the standard of care they receive. Those of questionable moral fiber need not call for appointments. This includes, but is not limited to: lesbians, single mothers, sexually active teenagers, rape victims, victims of incest, women with piercings in places I may find disgusting, women with oddly colored hair, and women of other religions. We are taking new patients. Mary, Mother of Christ always welcome. Mary Magdalene need not apply."

There's a difference between ethics and morality. The ethics of a given profession are there to ensure that those of us who rely on the people practicing that profession get a high standard of care. Morals are the code each individual person lives by. If you can't seperate the two then you need to build yourself a time machine and haul your June Cleaver ass back to the 1950's.

I believe in a higher power. I also believe that when people like this pass into the next life they will find a seriously pissed of version of said higher power waiting for them with one question: "What exactly was it that you thought you were doing?" It gives me some measure of comfort knowing that for every tiny minded individual like this one there is a higher force waiting to judge them....and the retribution will be Divine.

Rise of the Silver Surfer

2007-06-17T18:21:00.001-07:00

I took my husband to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer today. For anyone who saw the first movie, this second offering is an improvement. It's still not a great movie, but it's an improvement. I'm of the opinion that comic book movies should be fun first and anything else after that. This movie scores on the fun part of the equation and it made improvements over the first film as far as the cheese factor goes.

The big problem I had with this film was the lack of character development. The Fantastic Four are still a little cardboard for my tastes and the Surfer doesn't get a lot of air time. They spend more time focusing on trivial stuff...like a wedding and media hype. The time would have been better spent focusing on the Surfer and how the Fantastic 4 come to form a relationship with him.

The second problem with this film is a pretty big plot flaw. SPOILER ALERT: Johnny Storm has a run in with the Surfer early in the movie. It leaves him with a virus that causes him to swap powers with whoever he touches. At the end of the movie Doom steals the Surfer's board and it makes him all powerful. In order to get it away from him and stop the planets impending doom the 4 all touch hands and transfer all their powers to Storm......Okay....wait a minute. Stop the movie.

Here's the problem with that:

(1) When he touches someone he changes powers with the person he touches. He gets their power and they get his. So, if he touched all three of the other Fantastic 4 he would get their powers, but they should all have gotten his, he shouldn't have his fire anylonger, right?

or....it should have swapped powers among the four with unknown results, but in the movie it simply automatically transferred all four powers into Storm.

Now, he takes off and flies after Doom where he starts fighting with the SuperVillian and we encounter plot hole two.

(2) Because of the virus the first time he touches Doom the powers that he has should transfer to Doom and the powers Doom has should transfer to him. But they don't why not?

I hate when they just have things work because they need it to in a movie. They need to give me a reason. Any reason, but damn it, give me a reason.

All in all, it wasn't a bad way to spend an afternoon with my husband and my son.

Thirteen Days and Coutning.....

2007-06-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

There are two sides to every argument.

Just because you can do a thing it doesn't follow that you should do a thing. Simply because we can kill and eat lower species, does it necessarily follow that we should? When civilization was young that may have been the case, meat was required for survival. Now that simply isn't true, not in non-third world nations anyway. Science has created several alternative nutrient sources that provide for our dietary needs and several of the plants found in nature can provide the things our bodies need just as well as meat can.

So why has the habit of eating other living creatures persisted throughout history. Many point to the Bible and the Book of Genesis. God putting the animals on Earth for Adams use and all that. That argument only works if the person your arguing too is a Christian, and even then it can be argued that "use" does not have to imply consumption, so it's a flawed argument.

I have pointed out the fact that even if everyone stopped eating meat based on the "cruelty" factor we would be left with an overpopulation of domesticated stock. This would cause several problems like where to house them and who would care for and pay for the animals. The answer to those questions is actually not as complicated as it might seem. Rather than try to force meat out of the public consumptive pattern all at once, it would be better to shoot for a gradual end to meat consumption. While doing so, you gradually begin thinning the herds being kept by commercial farmers and begin preparing animal preserve space for the herds that will be left. This process would take several years, but would result in a manageable population.

Health concerns can be raised regarding the proteins found in meat and the calcium and other minerals found in dairy products. Again, a slow phasing out of the products now in place and implementation of replacement with substitutes already found in nature could be managed. The products are available and while they do not taste the same many of them do provide the same nutritional content with out the fat content or cholesterol found in traditional foods. Over time, these new sources would become the "norm" and future generations would look on meat consumption as odd, even unhealthy.

Do I think that our society is ready for such a change? Not right now. Our palates and our cultural senses are attuned to a certain way of doing things. Right now, being a vegetarian is outside the cultural norm. Do I think such a change could happen? Yes, actually I do. I believe that as a society progresses it will inevitably shift away from killing for any purpose. "Just because you can do a thing, it does not follow that you should do a thing." I think that within the next decade or so we will begin to see a slow melding of these two points, more vegetarian options will begin to appear...and more people will start to choose them.

Here's One For All the Geeks Out There...

2007-06-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

If you listened to Dr. Demento as a kid. If you played D&D as a kid. Better yet, if you did both...then this is for you.

The Dead Alewives
Enjoy!

I'm a Goddess, who knew??

2007-06-09T20:24:00.001-07:00

As I was looking for clothes tonight I was surprised to learn that I'm a Goddess. I know, shocking isn't it? Don't believe me? Well I can prove it.

Goddess Serena

Not what you were expecting, huh? Imagine how surprised I was to find out that a corset has been named after me. Apparently not only am I deity, I provide comfort and support. I'm a full service Goddess.

Nine Days and Counting

2007-06-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

I'm nine days into my no meat experiment and I have to say I never realized how much meat I actually ate. I find myself reaching for something and then stopping because it involves a meat component. It's one of those experiments that makes you stop and take stock of your habits. Technically you would call me a Pescatarian, a person who eats a mainly vegetarian diet but still eats fish for health reasons or to ease into the vegetarian lifestyle. In my case, it's health reasons. My doctor advised that doing away with all major sources of protein would be a bad idea as my body is still recovering from two pregnancies...so fish stays in the diet.

I also choose to keep dairy in my diet. This is also for health reasons. I need the calcium and the vitamin D. Selfish reasons abound as well. I enjoy cream cheese, yogurt, pudding, cheese and many other things of the dairy persuasion. I also do not relish the idea of becoming a hunchbacked old woman with brittle bones. Osteoporosis sounds painful and is not something I wish to experience.

There are the basic arguments to be made to in counterpoint here. Multivitamins are available as well as supplements that have the other compounds like protein and calcium. While this is true, those chemical supplements are not closely regulated and so do not contain a reliable amount of the necessary vitamin or mineral. Also, it is a medical fact that while multivitamins can be a good addition to a diet, they are not absorbed by the body as well as the vitamins and minerals found in food and so your body does not get as much of the health benefit from them. Hence my decision to keep fish and dairy in the diet.

Okay, now I'm going to address the whole "you shouldn't eat animal products because it's cruel" issue. This is a touchy issue with a lot of people and I tend to avoid it whenever possible because honestly I think many of the people who make the arguments have never actually been to a real farm.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the argument against the large scale "farms". Thousands of dirty, sickly looking chickens crammed into a holding pen is not a pretty thing and it is, well, cruel. Calves locked in pens and not allowed to move so that veal will be soft. Cruel. Animals killed solely for their skins. Cruel. Rodeos....Cruel, no explanation...just cruel. There are many things I could list that I agree with that are cruel. We can work to change those things.

Here are the flaws I find with the whole "Don't use animal products, it's cruel." argument.

The main argument against dairy seems to be that the cows are "kept" pregnant. In many peoples minds this seems to illicit a vision of cattle popping out calves all the time. A heifer will produce milk for twelve to fourteen months after having been calved. The farmer will breed the heifer once every twelve to fourteen months in order to keep her producing milk. The machine used to collect the milk is attached to the udder and uses a force that is akin to someone sucking on your finger. Having grown up around dairy cattle I've actually seen the machines and have, in fact, stuck my finger in one...so I know what I'm talking about.

When I was on the PETA website recently I noticed a side link where you can "Meet the animals". Curious, I started clicking and reading. I have to say, the animals they are describing are not the ones I grew up with. Cows can indeed be very gentle and curious, but the ones we had were not the uber geniuses PETA is painting. They didn't have cliques in the farmyard or pout when their calves were taken from them. My grandfather did have one that was a complete bitch, but that's a whole other story. I don't doubt that cows are more intelligent than a many people give them credit for, but people they are not. That's gonna piss people off, but I'll get to that argument in a minute. Now, on to the chickens.

Chickens are mean. I have the scars to prove it. Chickens are not loving or curious or fun to have around. Chickens are angry and mean and will peck the shit out of you given the chance. The only thing meaner is a goose. Chickens will actually stop chasing you, geese will not. Eggs are not a form of torture. Chickens lay them everyday. I know because I used to have to go and gather them everyday, thus incurring even more wrath from said chickens. I will concede the point that the color of the egg doesn't mean a damn thing. The color of the egg is a matter of what breed the chicken is and what the chicken eats. The white eggs most people buy have been bleached. But eggs are not something evil being done to chickens. The biggest difference is that between a family farm and a commercial farm...and that is something that can be changed.

Now, let's deal with the main argument. The actual killing of animals for food. The first point people make is that the way in which animals are killed is inhumane. This in and of itself makes my head hurt. I mean, is there a humane way to kill something? There isn't....death is death and it's ugly. So we aren't even going to discuss that one.

My main problem is this: Let's say you get everyone to stop eating meat. Now what? The farmers and ranchers with herds aren't going to pay for the upkeep of the animals once it stops being profitable, so what do we do then? We have hundreds of thousands of head of cattle and then what? How do we keep them in check? Who pays to keep them healthy? Where do we house them? Who pays to feed them? And that's only the cattle. Then you have to factor in the chickens, pigs, goats and other livestock.

In nature, when a herd becomes to large for the environment to support disease takes over and decimates a portion of the population until it is once again sustainable by the ecosystem. If the livestock population were allowed to run out of control, the same thing would happen....unless a "livestock" hunting season were instituted in order to keep the herds thinned enough to prevent disease. (which is what is done with deer, moose and other wild herds....) and then we're right back where we started.

I don't believe in killing an animal only for it's fur. I won't take my children to zoos, rodeos or circuses. I wear leather. I generally eat meat and even if I choose to stop, I'm not going to expect others to because my choice will be health based and not because I think meat is murder. Fact is, we're the top of the food chain, simple as that.

People make this decision for a great many reasons, but the next time you start to give the speech to someone about how eating meat is cruel, go spend sometime on a real farm. Get to know a farmer or two. Sit down and think about what would happen once all of those animals were "free".

There are always two sides to every argument. This is my side.

HA!

2007-06-08T15:04:00.001-07:00

They sent Paris kicking and screaming back to jail and all I have to say about it is:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Today I will not be writing emails in outrage and frustration. Today I will be writing emails in congratulations and incredulity. I can't believe that the judicial system actually sent the snivelling little brat back to jail. Hooray for Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer!!!!

Can I tell you that I actually barked with laughter when I read the headline? Seriously. It just jumped out of my chest. Then I rubbed my hands together like some deranged mad person. Is it wrong that I'm getting a LOT of enjoyment out of the picture of her in tears in the back of a squad car? Does this make me a bad person who will burn in hell? Should I feel guilty because I don't care if it does?

Anyone else experiencing an overwhelming euphoria knowing Paris is sleeping on a hard prison cot tonight and dining on institutional food? Cause chances are, you're going to hell too and all I can say is: HA!

Poor Little Paris

2007-06-08T11:37:00.001-07:00

It appears that Paris Hilton isn't immune to the long arm of the law after all. Apparently the judge that sentenced the fluffy headed heiress to serve her sentence in the L.A County jail was not amused when the Sheriff allowed her to return home with an ankle bracelet due to an "Undisclosed Medical Condition" and has ordered her to appear before him in court today.

She was picked up by the L.A. County Sheriff's Department, placed in handcuffs and driven to the courthouse where the prosecutor is expected to demand her return to jail and is also expected to ask that the Sheriff be held in contempt for allowing Ms. Hilton to leave the jail at all.

I have to admit that I am pleasantly surprised by the prompt response to this outrage by both the judge in this case and the L.A County District Attorney's office. They appear to be doing the right thing....making Paris Hilton take responsibility for her actions. It's about damned time, that's all I can say.

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when Glamour Girl got the call telling her she was going to have to account for herself like a grown up and that batting her eyes and crying just wasn't going to cut it. And how pissed do you suppose Mommy is? Is it wrong that I'm gleeful about this? Is it sick that I did a little happy dance upon finding out that they actually handcuffed her underfed, over manicured ass? I hope the judge reads her the riot act!

If they actually follow through with this, there will be a second round of emails on my part, congratulating them for doing the right thing.

2007-06-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

I usually don't talk about celebrities or their lives but today I'm making an exception. It seems that Paris Hilton was sent home from jail after serving only five days of her already reduced jail sentence because of an undisclosed "medical situation". They fitted her with an electronic bracelet and she'll do her remaining forty days at home. Basically, she's been grounded to her room and I'm sure we all remember how effective that was as a punishment.

I'm so angry about this it's hard to put it into words. This is a perfect illustration of how unjust our justice system really is. I'm sure there are any number of men and women sitting in jails all over our country right now serving time for the same crime Ms. Hilton was convicted of that have medical conditions and none of them are being sent home. I'm betting every single one of them wishes that a tummy ache would get them the magical "get out of jail free" card.

Hilton is receiving special treatment because of who her family is. She's rich and white and that makes all the difference. I mean who cares if she's a negligent little bitch that drove drunk? Who cares that she then drove on a suspended license? The law apparently only applies to those of us who aren't rich enough to buy ourselves a little justice. The rest of us have to "do the time". Our jails are overflowing with first time offenders, many of them incarcerated for non-violent offenses. Public defenders don't have resources and many of them don't really give "due diligence" to the cases.

Something like this is a slap in the face to the rest of society. Personally I will not stay at another Hilton Hotel. My money won't be missed I'm sure, but perhaps those of you reading this will think about the principle involved and follow me and encourage your friends and family to do the same. I will be writing a letter to the Hilton Corporation telling them why I will never use their services again. Paris Hilton's family deserves as much blame as the system that allowed this to happen. Her parents are responsible for raising a selfish, self absorbed child that has grown into a adult with a sense of entitlement, one that our country feeds.

I encourage you to do two things after reading this:

(1) Write a letter or send an email to the LA County District Attorney's office telling them that you think it is a miscarriage of justice that Ms. Hilton was sent home when no other inmate gets such preferential treatment, not even inmates with life-threatening diseases.

210 W Temple St
Los Angeles, CA 90012
Phone: (213) 974-3512
Fax: (213) 974-1484
Email: lada@co.la.ca.us
Web Page: http://da.co.la.ca.us/

(2) Write a letter or send an email to Hilton Hotels telling them that you and your family will not stay at the Hilton chains because of the apparent lack of respect the Hilton family has for the American justice system and their apparent belief that their family is above the law.

Hilton Family of Hotels
Kendra Walker, Vice President - Brand Communications
Phone: 310 205-4017
Fax: 310 205-7880
kendra_walker@hilton.com

While a few letters may not change the world, standing up for a principle can have a larger effect than you may believe.

EDIT:

These are the emails I sent out today. The first is to Kendra Walker and the second is to LA District Attorney Steve Cooley.

Dear Ms. Walker,

I am writing in response to the recent news that Ms. Paris Hilton was released from jail after serving only five days of her already reduced sentence. I would like your company to know that my family and I will no longer use any of the Hilton chains when we travel and I will recommend to my friends and extended family members that they do the same.

While the Hilton Corporation itself may not be responsible for Ms. Hilton's behavior, she and her family receive revenue from the company. I will no longer contribute to that pool. Ms. Hilton and her family apparently believe that they are above the law. I will not allow my children to see me supporting anything or anyone that is connected with that attitude. Money should not give a person a "get out of jail free" card. There are many men and women serving time in our nations correctional facilities with medical conditions, many of them convicted of non-violent offenses and yet none of them are sent home to serve their time in relative comfort. The only difference is the lack of money and the last name.

Ms. Hilton should be ashamed of herself and her parents should be ashamed as well. I have asked my readers to join me in boycotting your hotels. It's time someone stood up and said enough is enough. Having wealth should never be a way to escape taking responsibility for your own actions and as long as your company supports that image, I will actively speak out against it.

Sincerely,

Serena Woodward

Dear Mr. Cooley,

I am writing today because of recent news that Ms. Paris Hilton was released from a L.A County jail after serving only five days of an already reduced sentence. The article said that Ms. Hilton had been sent home due to an "undisclosed medical condition" and that she had been "fitted with an electronic bracelet". Mr. Cooley, is it a new policy in Los Angeles to ground people to their rooms? I'm sure that this must come as a relief to the many other non-violent offenders currently serving time in your jails. Will you begin sending them home as well? I'm sure that many of them have any number of medical conditions ranging from tummy aches to AIDS.

I find it appalling sir, that you allowed this to happen. There is not an intelligent adult in this country that doesn't understand what happened. Ms. Hilton was found guilty of a crime but because she is rich and her family is powerful she was given what basically amounts to a slap on the wrist. Had this been any other individual they would have been taken to the jail's infirmary, treated there and then returned to their cell.

I am hoping to read a press release from your office soon that states you have developed a plan to use electronic bracelets on non-violent offenders as a way to relieve over crowding in prisons and that Ms. Hilton was a test case. Sadly, I do not think any such press release will be forthcoming.

When things like this occur it does not matter to me how much good you say you are doing, it is tainted. I am a parent and I will hold this, and you, up to my children as an example of how not to conduct yourself. You should be ashamed. Justice should not be for sale to the highest bidder. The next time you find yourself in a discussion about what is wrong with the justice system in our country, look in the mirror, the answer will be staring you in the face. Have you ever stopped to question why so many young people don't have any respect for the law? People like you. They understand that without money there is no justice and you prove them right every time you allow someone like Paris Hilton to skate by. Wrong is wrong, it shouldn't matter who you are or how wealthy your family is. Ms. Hilton broke the law and should have been held responsible for it. Shame on you sir. Shame on you for spitting in the face of everything your office is supposed to stand for.

Sincerely,

Serena Woodward

Now that the child is feeling better....

2007-06-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

Don't watch this one at work:

And just in case you can't get to church this Sunday:

And because you're going to go to hell for laughing at that one:

This last one is a joke that only Gunfighter will get, or at least I hope he'll get why I posted it. Still funny though...and look, it's Hugh Laurie pre-House!

Exotic Illnesses

2007-06-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

Just letting everyone know I may not be around for a while. My son has contracted Herpangina. I know! It sounds like a mutated STD doesn't it? I almost fell off my chair when the doctor told me what he had. Turns out it's just a fancy way of saying my three year old has a really high fever and a mouth full of puss filled blisters.

It supposed to last for a week. It can't be treated with antibiotics. Needless to say, this will most likely be my last post for a while. (Unless the husband is sitting with the sick child....)

Monty Python

2007-06-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling the need for funny today. And Monty Python is funny.

Funny Stuff

2007-06-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share this.

In keeping with the spirit...

2007-06-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

So far this summer I have:

(1) Gone back to college after a thirteen year hiatus

(2) Taken my writing out of mothballs and begun work on it in earnest

(3) Signed up for a script writing .... umm??? Activity? Contest? I'm not sure what to call it exactly, but it's exciting.

and my newest new thing, in keeping with the spirit of adventure I seem to have embarked upon is:

Beginning on June 4th I will remove meat from my diet for one month. I'm not going to go Vegan for a month, THAT would kill me. I am going to try vegetarian. I know a lot of people that are vegetarian or vegan and I've often wondered how you eat that way and stay healthy and what prompts a person to stick with the lifestyle.

I have all these questions like: Don't you just crave a hamburger sometimes? and How long does it take for you to get used to not eating meat? So I'm going to give it a shot. I'm going to take the weekend and do some research and starting Monday, no more meat for a month.

I wonder what else I'll discover this month?

Writing Meme

2007-05-31T18:15:00.000-07:00

In keeping with the writing theme I have pilfered the following meme from E-Dawg. Okay, he kind of suggested that I should do the meme, but saying I plifered it makes me sound like some kind of meme bandit. Woo hoo! I'm such a rebel.

1. Do you outline?

I don't know if you could call it an outline, but I usually sketch out the idea I want to work on. I do this because a lot of times I am working on multiple projects and I don't want to lose any of the ideas I get.

2. Do you write straight through a book, or do you sometimes tackle the scenes out of order?

I do both. I have written stories where I start at the beginning and go to the end. For others I skip around, writing scenes as they come to me and tying them together as I go along.

3. Do you prefer writing with a pen or using a computer?

When I first start working on a new project I'm a pen and paper girl. I own almost a hundred different journals...and that's just the blank ones. Once I get the bare bones down, I switch to the computer. I just like the feel of pen on paper.

4. Do you prefer writing in first person or third?

I prefer writing in the third person although I will challenge myself sometimes and write a story in first person. First person is MUCH harder. It's hard to stay in that voice.

5. Do you listen to music while you write?

I actually have set playlists for the type of writing (drama, sci-fi, stage) that I'm doing. There are three specific types of playlists so that they match my mood. How anal does that make me sound?

6. How do you come up with the perfect names for your characters?

When I'm writing, the characters usually name themselves. For those times when I really need to find that perfect name I own several baby name books and other name reference books and I have links to some name generators.

7. When you're writing, do you ever imagine your book as a television show or movie?

There are some stories that I start writing as a short or with the idea of doing a novel and I'll stop about half way through and set it aside because I realize that it would be better as a movie or a mini-series.

8.Have you ever had a character insist on doing something you really didn't want him/her to do?

All the time. Characters will start out as just characters and by the time I'm done they are living and breathing. It makes me sad sometimes to come to the end of a project because it means I have to put those characters aside. But there are always new characters around the corner.

9. Do you know how a book is going to end when you start it?

I like to think I do, but things don't always go as planned. Writing is kind of like life that way....you don't always know what to expect.

10. Where do you write?

Where ever I am when the mood strikes. Right now I don't have a "writing schedule", although I'm going to have to set one soon.

11. What do you do when you get writer's block?

I read or I write fan fiction. I know writing fan fiction sounds like an odd thing to do when you have writer's block, but it doesn't require as much as creating something brand new. You get to start with a set of cannon characters, a background and a place to go from there, all you have to do is run with it. Reading or re-reading a really good book does the same thing, it frees up my mind so I'm not concentrating so hard on what I think the problem is.

12. What size increments do you write in (either in terms of word count, or as a percentage of the book as a whole)?

I write until I'm done. Sometimes thats four or five pages, once it was one hundred pages. When I've tapped myself out, I can feel it and I stop.

13. How many different drafts did you write for your last project?

At least four....with some of my poetry there have been as many as fifteen rewrites.

14. Have you ever changed a character's name midway through a draft?

In my rough draft if I'm having trouble with a secondary or background character I'll just drop a name in, like Bob or something equally generic, when I do rewrites I change the name to fit the character.

15. Do you let anyone read your book while you're working on it, or do you wait until you've completed a draft before letting someone else see it?

If the person is reading for me to help me catch possible problems, then yes. Otherwise I don't let anyone read what I'm working on until I'm finished.

16. What do you do to celebrate when you finish a draft?

Like Ian said, I usually feel a little sad when I finish something. A lot of writers actually say they feel that. You spend so much time working on these characters, getting invested in them and their lives...they become like family. Then one day...you're finished and you have to let the project go to someone you know is going to "edit" it. It's kind of a sad moment.

17. One project at a time, or multiple projects at once?

I'm actually laughing as I type this. I wish I could do one project at a time. I pray daily for the ability to keep my mind squarely focused on one writing project. I usually have three at any one time.

18. Do your books grow or shrink in revision?

That all depends on what the point of the revision is. I can't edit my own writing, something I'm working on. When I look at things every word is important, every syllable a must keep, so if it's cutting that needs doing, I'm not the one doing it. Additions I can handle. I get someone to read for me and point out where they felt the story lagged or needed more, then I go in and revise the story accordingly.

19. Do you have any writing or critique partners?

I live in a small town where I don't have many friends, so at the moment I have two people I can turn to for help critiquing. One lives in Salt Lake and the other I know from on-line. I'd like to have a group I can go to, but there's no one in my community that is interested in it...well no one that I've met anyway.

20. Do you prefer drafting or revising?

Let me put it to you this way. I would rather spend an entire weekend locked in a room with a televison stuck on C-Span than have to revise something.

Writing is MUCH more fun. The editing and revision process is a special kind of hell.

There you have it friends. I'm not tagging anyone with this, but for any of my fellow writers out there, I encourage you to pilfer this from me. Come one, you know you want to......

Well, I'm in for it now.

2007-05-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

I did it. I signed myself up for Script Frenzy. I have never written a script before in my life. I'm not sure what kind of insanity came over me, but this next month should be interesting. I have a couple of ideas already, one based on a short story I wrote when I was younger and one based on a story idea I had a couple of years ago.

I'm actually really excited about this. The script I end up with might turn out to be complete junk, but it will be an interesting creative endeavor.

I also have two writing projects in the works. Anyone that answered my call for bodies can expect to get a follow up email later this weekend to give you more information and ask you to answer a few questions.

I'm all a twitter with excitement over the many projects I have in front of me. We shall see how long that excitement lasts.

Wendy's Weirds Me Out...Again

2007-05-31T10:36:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen the latest Wendy's commercial? It just weirds me out.

If you haven't seen the ad I'm talking about you really should go check it out.

http://www.wendys.com/ads/

It's the one with the guy in the red Pippi Longstocking wig. What the hell does a bunch of people standing around kicking trees have to do with Wendy's? And why is that man wearing a Pippi Longstocking wig?

Maybe it's a spoof on the whole, "I'm thinking Arby's thing." I don't know. What I do know is that it creeps me out even more than the idea of them using "Blister in the Sun" to try and hock fast food.

I think the ad department at Wendy's is being run by stoners.

I need a body count.....

2007-05-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I fancy myself a writer. I have a great idea for a new story and I need bodies for the body count. If I've intrigued you and you're a fellow blogger, let me know. I'll email you with details.

Tag! Dammit...

2007-05-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged with this meme by Brillig. This means that not only do I have to answer the question, I have to think of people to tag in return. This reminds me an awful lot of those Slam Books we used to get in trouble for when we were in Junior High.

Okay, so on with the meme:

Where did you get your kids' names from?

Let's see, are we talking nick names or real names? Let's do both shall we?

May daughter's name is Alexandria Nichelle. I picked Alexandria because I wanted her to have a strong name she could grow into, but something she could shorten and have fun with when she was younger. Nichelle I chose because I think it's beautiful. I'm a Star Trek fan and the actress that plays Lt. Uhura is Nichell Nichols. The name always sounded great to me and the actress is accomplished, well-spoken and was one of the first strong female role models in entertainment.

My daughter actually has two nick names: Bubba for when we're feeling playful or silly and Baby Angel. I started calling her Baby Angel the day she was born. I looked into her eyes and she looked like a tiny little angel staring back at me. When she turned twelve she said to me,"I'm not a baby anymore you know." I smiled and told her that no matter what age she was she would always be my baby.

My son is three. His name is Jareth Malachai. My husband and I picked Jareth because of our fondness for the movie Labryinth. And no, I'm not joking. It's a unique name and it's one he can grow into. Russ and I both love the movie and have fond memories of watching it when we were younger. We chose his middle name basically because it sounded good with Jareth...I wish there was more to it, but there's not.

Jareth's nick name is Buddah. I honestly have no idea where it came from. We've been calling him that since he was about six months old. I don't know which one of us started it, or why, but it's what we call him. Sometimes I call him Booger, usually when he's being a pain in the ass. He will usually laugh and say,"I'm a Booger." This makes me laugh...it's a good time.

Now, who do I tag? I'm going to tag:

Paula
Ian (mostly because I want to listen to him rant about being tagged with yet ANOTHER meme..Love ya Ian!)
and
Gunfighter

Have fun ya'll!

2007-05-25T16:36:00.000-07:00

The other day I was over at Never what you think it should be.... and the utterly fabulous WhiskeyMarie was lamenting her misbehaving hair. Now folks, I have to tell you this woman has got to have the single most impressive collection of hair care products I have EVER seen in my life. I bow to her hair care devotion. She is my new hair care GODDESS! (For those of you who don't know me well, I'm a "wash and go" girl. This means I spend five minutes TOPS on my hair. I wash, spray with leave in conditioner, comb, clip up or shake out depending on the day and we're off.) For someone to have the sheer amount of dedication it takes to know how to use those products, let alone shop for them...I am in awe!!!

That alone would deserve a post, but it's not why we're here. No. We're here because while I was admiring her seriously industrious hair care collection I started thinking about my own obsession with something. I, dear readers, am obsessed with skin care.

If I owned a digital camera this would be the point in my confession where I posted pictures similar to those found on WhiskeyMarie's blog. I don't own a digital camera though as I am frighteningly behind the times, so you will just have to imagine the sheer size of my skin care collection.

I counted and I have twenty seven different kinds of lotion, fifteen different facial products, and about fifty different kinds of skin cleansers, buffers and deep conditioners. I could start my own spa. I have special socks for deep conditioning my feet. Special callous removers for both my hands and my feet. I have specific face creams for day and night. I know how to make my own facials from all natural products like oatmeal and strawberries. I know how to use mayonnaise and stale beer to make my hair soft and shiny. I know that olive oil, avocado and honey is a GREAT moisturizer.

I lay in the sun like I'm still a teenager and this pisses my friends off because I still look like I'm 25. I moisturize, soak, scrub, sooth....I'm obsessed with my skin. But dammit, I'm going to look GOOD when I'm 70!!!!!

What a difference a generation makes

2007-05-24T15:05:00.002-07:00

I have a dear friend that is in her seventies. She is like a mother to me. My closest confidant and my shoulder to cry on when times are hard. I love her. I have always known that she and I do not see eye to eye on many subjects and, in fact, it is one of the things that makes our friendship fun and vital.

The other day as we were talking about rising gas prices, global warming and rapidly rising populations it was driven home for me just how different we were in our thinking. Comments she made started me thinking about the generational differences that still exist and how they often contribute to problems like social policy change, eradication of race issues and progress in political stability and the tendency towards religious fervor that can show up in times of crisis.

My friend and I were talking and I made the comment about the human race not being able to self moderate when it came to population. That animals will stop breeding if the herd becomes to large for the environment in which it lives to sustain it, but humans will not follow this same pattern. She responded by saying, "But if we don't keep having babies the colored people will start to outnumber us and then where will we be?" I sat and looked at her for a moment, not sure how to respond. She hadn't said it with any malice in her voice, it was very matter of fact and yet it had struck me as a very racist thing to say. I know this woman and she isn't mean spirited and would never think to judge a person based on color if they needed help or assistance of any kind. And yet, here was something so ugly coming from her. How did I reconcile this? It took me back, it shocked me. I did the only thing I could think of, I changed the subject.

Others of my generation would most likely condemn this person out of hand. Angry denouncement of "Racist" and "Bigot" would be hurled. I have to admit, one of the first thoughts through my mind was, "I didn't know she was so racist." And then I stopped and thought about it. I gave thought to where the comment might have come from and if she even understood, really understood how it would have been perceived by someone else. Would she have heard the racism in the comment, or would it have been just a normal thing to say for her?

My friend lived through the Great Depression, World War II and the social upheaval of the Civil Rights movement and the Vietnam Era. She also witnessed the turmoil surrounding the Women's Rights movement and the entrance onto the social forefront of the Gay and Lesbian Rights activists. Environmental activists, human rights activists, criminal rights activists all of these groups came into being during her lifetime. The concept of "childhood" as we know it was developed and placed into society during her lifetime. When you stop going to school, when you start working to support a family, when you get married....all of these ideas have changed. Who you associate with, what's appropriate behavior in society, what's appropriate to talk about and even how you say it...all of these ideas have changed as well.

My generation takes these things for granted. We expect that everyone will accept and understand these ideas. That they are part of the societal norm is a given for us. We have forgotten that there is an entire generation that did not grow up with these ideals. They had them thrust upon them. Are still having them thrust upon them.

Imagine being seventy-five years old and having a twenty-five year old woman, covered in tattoos with purple hair, her breast barely covered walk up to you and start speaking to you about the right to have an abortion. She is mixing profanity in with her speech and waving a crudely painted sign in your face. How would you react? Or imagine turning on your television and being bombarded with images of a world that looks nothing like the one you were familiar with...hearing ideas that do not match the morals you were taught all your life. How easy would it be for you to change an entire moral code?

How do we combat that? Fighting against groups like KKK is hard enough. They perpetuate hatred based on ethnicity out of sheer fear and ignorance, born of a time when it was a right and nurtured for centuries. This kind of racism is much quieter and hides in people that really mean no harm. My friend's children grew up hearing such quiet statements and probably make them themselves, carrying the cycle forward. These are not monstrous people. These are men and women who give to charity, help their neighbors in times of crisis, bake cookies for the school bake sale and make friends with people of all colors and ethnic groups...all the while, lurking just under the surface....How do you diffuse that? What is the way to break a cycle that you can't see?

Vote For...ME!!!!

2007-05-24T02:22:00.000-07:00

I would like to officially announce my intention to run for President! Running with me will be Suzanne. Shortly after we are elected we will be appointing Gunfighter as our Secretary of Defense, super des,Brillig,and unquietheart will be taking seats on the Supreme Court so that some REAL decisions can be made. Ian will be taking on duties as the new White House Chief of Staff. My good friend Steph will be taking on duties as Press Secretary.

This will only be the beginning. If I didn't include you in this list and you feel there is a position you would like to have, please let me know. Once we have fixed the United States, we will be taking over the World. We will be running on the "Common Sense" platform and using the "Preschool Mother" form of unilateral control. This means: If you wouldn't let your pre-schooler do it, it's not okay for you to do it. "Getting your hand slapped" will take on a whole new meaning.

"By the People, For the People" will mean something again. During my tenor, you will have a flawed, human government, but we will always tell you the truth, we will always do what is actually in the best interests of the country, and we will always look before we leap.

Vote for ME!

2007-05-23T15:04:00.001-07:00

Okay...so the comment about tattos may have been ill-advised.(She says in response to the many, many comments she has gotten from her wonderful readers who have tattos) What I meant was this:

Kids need parents who know who they are BEFORE they have kids. If you get the tattos because you love them, either before OR after having kids..that's cool. I'm referring to the "cool" mom or the "hip" dad that runs out and gets a tribal arm band and an eye brow piercing because it's "in". Or the thirty-five year old guy that has his ears gauged out and his wife that runs around dressed like she's fifteen with a thong riding somewhere above her jeans and a "cute" tatoo strategically placed where you can see it while she's carrying her adorable child in her expensive baby sling.

I'm all for body art, piercings and other forms of expression...as long as they're all about you and not about riding the tide of "cool".

I will now slink back into my corner and hide while I think about what I've done.

*grins because she realizes no one will take that last comment seriously*

Conundrum

2007-05-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

Got into a little argument with the husband person this evening. Lately I feel we don't have much in common. I want to talk about the state of the world, he wants to play video games. I want to discuss a book I just read, he wants to play video games. I want to show him something new I just wrote, he wants to play...well, you get the picture.

I used to think I could be happy in my little corner of the world. I'm not so sure of that anymore. That crazy, idealistic person I was when I was young has been poking her head out and making a whole lot of noise lately. How do I make room in that world for a person that nods and says, "Huh?" while looking at me out of the corner of his eye?

Can you build a lasting future on good sex and similar taste in movies? We can't even agree on why you should keep a book. I collect books because I will read them over and over. He collects them because he "wants to have them". It's odd, I never realized we had grown so far apart. It's weird, isn't it? How you can wake up one morning and look at someone and see distance where there used to be closeness?

It troubles me.

2007-05-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

My kitchen is meowing at me.

Imagine this:

It's two in the morning. I'm half asleep and I'm thirsty. I walk into the kitchen to get something to drink and.....the kitchen meows at me.

I don't own a cat. You can imagine I'm a little surprised to hear my kitchen meowing. I immediately start to look for the source of the meowing. It is coming from the air vent in the floor. Great! Now it's two in the morning, I'm half asleep, I'm thirsty and there is a kitten stuck in my air vent. And it's scared and meowing. Now I have guilt and thirst. I'm never going to get any sleep.

I go and put pants on (no, I don't sleep in pants) and get some shoes on and I go outside. It's cold and it's raining and I can hear this kitten still meowing. I crouch down and shine a light under the trailer and call to it. I see nothing. I can hear it, but I can't see it. Terrific! It's crawled up between the floor and the insulation. This means that I have a kitten stuck between the floor on my trailer and the duct work. I can't get to it and it can't get out.

I called my landlord. He won't do anything about it. I called Animal Control. They won't do anything about it. My husband is going to crawl under the trailer after work tonight and try to get to the poor thing. If not, the guilt is going to KILL me because that poor little thing is just going to sit there and meow....

Leave your Selfishness at the www.

2007-05-21T07:50:00.000-07:00

"Attention: All Hip Parenting Bloggers. You are being served with notice. Your parenting rights are about to be suspended. You are all in desperate need of a parenting class, or at least a healthy dose of reality and common sense. I am officially nauseated by your bitching, whining and complaining. Children are not social accessories. It is not their job to make your life easier, prettier or more exciting. I am hereby boycotting all "hip parenting bloggers". (While this boycott may be wholly ineffectual, it's principle based...a virtual sticking out of the tongue, if you will)

Children need parents, not buddies. They do not need you to have tattoos, piercings or be "cool". They need you to set boundaries, make rules and understand that it is, in fact, your job to clean up after them when they make messes. They need you to be the grown-up. They need you to not care if it makes you uncomfortable to confront the parent of the bully down the street because she's a friend of yours, they just need to know that you care more about them than you do about your social standing.

I am officially tired of the rhetoric being served up as "journalism". I am tired of being told that I am somehow failing as a parent because I am not trendy. There will be no bandwagon jumping here. My children will not be given cell phones to "keep in touch" with me. I will not buy them clothing that costs more than I spend on electricity in a month. I will not wrap them in so much protective gear that they bounce when they hit the ground. I will not enroll them in every after school activity known to man in the hopes that thirteen years from now some pinched faced matron will be kind enough to allow me to spend fifty thousand dollars on a college degree they can get at the local University.

I don't know where this new trend sprang from, but I really wish someone would stuff a sock in it. This "new voice" of parenting is, quite frankly, embarrassing. You make us look like a whining dissatisfied bunch of immature babies. You don't speak for me....so quit trying."

Guilty Pleasures

2007-05-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

Bravo TV reality shows: I watch them all. Top Chef, Project Runway, Top Design, Shear Genius. I'm addicted. *hangs head* And after I managed to avoid American Idol AND Survivor.

America's Next Top Model: You thought the Bravo TV thing was bad....I admit it, I watch every cycle. I can't help myself. It's like a really skinny train wreck.

Judge Judy: Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse. I love to watch her tear into people. I just love it. She's this tiny little woman with a nasty temper and she gets to say things I would LOVE to say but never get the chance to. Redneck entertainment at it's best.

Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls: Tiny bits of chocolate heaven that go straight to my thighs. I don't care what anyone says, Hostess ain't got nothing on Little Debbie!

Diet Pepsi: I drink enough of this stuff to float the Titanic! I have a 32 oz. mug that is never empty. I carry it around the house with me. The first thing I do in the morning? Crack open a Diet Pepsi. I'm as bad as a smoker.

Romance novels: I read Amanda Quick. Not only do I read her, I read her over and over again. I also read those cheesy vampire romance novels that spring up everywhere. I keep them tucked away behind the "respectable" books. Even worse? I have several short stories that are the beginnings of promising romance novels...I'm a romance writer in the making.

Journals: I own over fifty of them. I keep buying them. I'm enamored of their soft, blank pages and their wonderful, promising covers.

I have a few others....but I'd rather hear about yours.

Well? What about you? What are your guilty pleasures?

2007-05-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

Are college educations like electronic equipment? Can the quality of the education you get be directly correlated to the amount you paid for the education? I've been wondering about that a lot lately.

I'm paying roughly $4,000 a year for my education. When I apply for my Master's program, I will be applying to a school where I will have reciprocity and so will receive resident tuition. I will be paying about $5,000 a year. This seems to be considerably lower than many of the universities I read about other people attending.

I'm choosing to attend Utah State to complete my BA and then plan to apply to Morehead State for my MFA program. I wonder, what do you think the difference is? Why the discrepency in cost and is there really a difference in the education received? Will I learn less? I don't believe I will.

What do you think?

The Awesomeness that is My Readers!!!

2007-05-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I stumbled upon a little tool that told me how much my blog was worth. It came back with a sad, but not unexpected, $0.00. I posted this piece of information, finding it humorous.

Today, I was reading over at des's place and she had the same nifty little thing posted. I thought to my self, "Hmm...I wonder if I'm still worth $0.00?" So I popped over to check.

Guess what? I'm worth more now. Check it out:

My blog is worth $5,645.40.
How much is your blog worth?

I blame all of you that come here and read in support of my sick need to feel that someone in the world is listening to me! Thanks for that!!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!

The View Outside My Window

2007-05-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning, it was a good day. I was happy. I felt good. I have just returned to college and feel a sense of pride about making that happen. I played with my son. I read a good book. I spoke with friends. I laughed.

It's 10:30 at night and I'm painfully aware of the regrets and unhappiness I carry inside of me. I feel a bitter sense of disappointment about the things I haven't been able to accomplish. I look around me and I see people doing and being the things I thought I would be doing and being when I was this age. It makes me sad. It makes me lonely. It makes me a little angry.

The irony here? Tomorrow morning I will wake up and I will feel fine. I will know that what happens happens for a reason and that my life is good the way it is.

I hate Bipolar Disorder.

Just Poke My Eyes Out

2007-05-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

We have a "War Czar" now.

What the FUCK????? Does Bush think his name is Alexi? Is Rasputin whispering in his ear? Did Laura spike his Wheaties this morning?

Does the "War Czar" together with the "Drug Czar" and have lunch? Can't you just imagine that conversation?

Drug Czar: "Soooo, what'd ya do this week?"

War Czar: "Oh, not a hell of a lot of anything. Had a couple of press conferences. Have to shine the public on about how we're giving it our best effort..blah blah blah. You know the drill."

Drug Czar: "I know, they've had me spouting that same crap for YEARS now. They won't actually let me DO anything."

War Czar: "Oh hell no. But it's a good gig, if you can get it."

And the most frightening thing? Go find a picuter of this guy. Remind anyone else of Oliver North? Can you say Iran/Contra? I knew that you could.

I hate math, have I ever mentioned that?

2007-05-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

I just downloaded the lecture notes for my statistics class. It was an 83 page document filled with graphs and charts and talk of x and y and z. My brain hurts already and I haven't even gone to class yet.

I hate math. I have always hated math. I'm going to hate this class. It doesn't help that the teacher apparently thinks he has a sense of humor and has therefore chosen a text called "Statistics for People Who THINK They Hate Statistics". Yeah...I don't THINK. I KNOW.

I need a Diet Pepsi.

Today we are wearing....

2007-05-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

My son dressed himself this morning.

This is what he's wearing:

A Thomas the Train pajama shirt. It's bright blue.
A pair of dark blue bermuda short length swim trunks, they have red, yellow and green fish all over them.

And the crowning glory? Blue snow boots and his fathers Bronco's baseball cap!

I SERIOUSLY need to get a digital camera.

The right to be upset or expecting special treatment?

2007-05-14T13:31:00.000-07:00

It's Monday so let's start the week out with a little healthy debate. As I trolled the web this morning I came across this little tid bit:

Becoming a mother a dilemma and victory

The article details the decision of a young woman who was a awarded a track scholarship at the University of Memphis and became pregnant to keep her baby. The decision meant she lost her scholarship.

There are a lot of people up in arms about this one. They are calling it many things: illegal, immoral and just plain wrong. I'm going to hop over to the other side of the fence though. Let's look at it from the another standpoint.

This isn't a fourteen year old girl we're talking about. This young woman is a sophomore in college. That makes her 21 at least, so I'm guessing both she and her boyfriend are conversant in the current methods of birth control and the fact that using only one method can sometimes be risky...you can double up, say a condom and the pill. There's also the fact that when she was awarded the scholarship not only was she aware that the standard good grade guideline applied, she was told and had to sign an acknowledgement that if she fought, got into verbal conflicts with the coaches or became pregnant she would lose her scholarship. It's something all the students awarded the scholarship sign. So it's not like it was a surprise.

Isn't this part of the freedom of choice? She's an adult. She got pregnant, reviewed her options and choices and made the one she thought she could live with. In a perfect world the school would say, "Well, we know we gave you an athletic scholarship and now that you're pregnant you can't perform athletically, but we'll let you keep the scholarship anyway." This isn't a perfect world. Why should the University make exceptions for pregnant women? It's not like there aren't ways to prevent becoming pregnant, chief among them, not having sex.

Now...I know someone reading this is going to jump all over me for that last statement. "But Serena, this is the 21st Century. This is an era of sexual freedom. Women should be allowed to express themselves and their sexuality and not be penalized for it." Blah blah blah.....great. You go ahead and express yourself. The reality is this: You have sex, you run the risk of getting pregnant. Period. It's that simple. Even birth control isn't one hundred percent. It says so on the back of the package for cripes sake.

Freedom of choice doesn't start after you get pregnant. It starts the moment you decide to have sex. Freedom of choice means that you are choosing to accept the responsibity for everything that comes after. It isn't the University's fault that she got pregnant. Think of it this way: If she were a man and on an athletic scholarship and that man violated the terms of the scholarship, would anyone blink when they revoked it? Nope...but this is a PREGNANT woman we're talking about and that evokes all kinds of mushy "AHHHHH" feelings in most people....

Isn't is actually kind of sexist to say that BECAUSE she's pregnant she deserves special treatment? Would she deserve less if her grades had slipped or she had slapped a coach?

Weigh in on this one folks. What do you think?

Beating the Dead Horse

2007-05-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

And once again the breastfeeding frenzy is upon us. It seems that actress Maggie Gyllenhaal was recently photographed breastfeeding her child in public uncovered and it has sparked the contorversy anew.

I briefly entertained the idea of leaving the following comment on the Stollerderby comment board:

"Get over it. Yes, we all know they're only boobs. But you also need to know that not everyone wants to SEE your boobs. By your wonderful, if skewed, logic no one should be upset if a man wants to whip it out in public to pee. I mean, urination is a perfectly natural biological function and come on, it's ONLY a penis, right?"

But then I thought better of it as I'm sick and damned tired of the new and the "hip". I'm tired of all the self serving bullshit. I'm thrilled for Maggie. Great, she whipped out her boobs in public and didn't mind that some dumb ass of a photographer (who I think is a complete asshat) took a picture of her. Wonderful! Good for her! I really doubt she did it to become the new poster girl for breast feeding solidarity. She was probably thinking, "I better feed my kid."

The lack of thought given to other people here is astonishing. I would be willing to bet that if someone were to do something that made these same women uncomfortable, they would want them to stop. The basic, underlying principle here is this: When you live in a society with other people you have to be aware that you can't just do whatever you want, just because you want to. Yes, you should be able to feed your child, but that doesn't mean that other people should be asked to be uncomfortable while you do it. If that means that occasionally you are asked to cover your breast while you breastfeed...GET OVER IT!!!!! Jesus!

Oh...and before somone decides to trot out the "Men can take off their shirts in public" thing? Yeah, until men's chests are considered sexual objects? Not even close to a valid argument. You may WISH that women's breast weren't viewed as sexual objects, but they are. You know it. I know it. The guy sitting next to you on the bus knows it. Deal with it. Men look at a womans breasts and it calls up all the mystery and the "Hmmmm I wonder..." He can't help it. You can't stop it. This is not the Star Trek Universe and you are not Lt. Uhura...we are not boldly going. Got it?

You want to make social change? Great! Let's change something important. How about applying a little of that righteous indignation to oh, I don't know, fixing the health care system? Helping the seriously impoverished? Working to help young women who suffer from low self-esteem and end up using sex as a substitute for love? How about jumping on one of those causes?

Quit beating this particular dead horse, it's starting to smell bad.

The Wrong Focus

2007-05-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

There's a story out today about a couple that was senteced to life in prison in the death of their six week old son. He died of malnutrition. The headline reads: "Vegan couple sentenced to life over baby's death
Malnourished baby was fed soy milk and apple juice, weighed 3 1/2 pounds"

The article takes the wrong focus. The death of this child had nothing to do with this couple being vegan and putting that fact first and foremost in the headline is the same as standing in the street screaming "VEGANS ARE NEGLECTFUL PARENTS!!!!"

I'm not a vegan. My son drank soy formula until he was almost two. He's fine. He's big and happy and healthy. He's above average for his age group in all his developmental markers. Now, if this couple were giving their child a food product that was intended for consumption by older children or adults against the advice of a doctor...that's just plain STUPID...and again, has nothing to do with them being vegan.

If this were a problem with them choosing to be vegan, we'd have kids dropping dead left and right and we don't. There are plenty of parents out there that choose alternative life styles and know that they have to make different choices for their children based on nutrional need.

Sadly, these two boneheads were just that...boneheads. It's sad. They have to live with what happened for the rest of their lives. It disgusts me that they sat and watched their child waste away and decided that their "principles" were worth more than his life....but let's not condem everyone that chooses that lifestyle because of it.

Today we talk about "hip" parents

2007-05-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

You know what? I am a tragically un-hip parent. If you look at my book shelves you will not see one parenting book. Until I started reading the so called "parenting blogs" I wasn't even aware that there were things like "Attachment Parenting" or "Helicopter Parents" or even "Hip Parents". When did this start? When did parenting become a thing we need recognition for? Did I miss the memo on this?

I grew up with siblings who were younger by eight and ten years respectively. This meant that I was the default babysitter, diaper changer and entertainer for a number of years. I learned to make bottles, change cloth diapers, how to care for an umbilical stump, how to burp...all those things, before I was twelve. When I had my daughter I just took her home. The nurse asked me if I had any questions and I think I probably looked at her like she was nuts.

I never worried about the "breast or bottle" thing. I can't breastfeed. So that made that decision for me. Both of my children were lactose intolerant, so we did soy formula. Guess what? Neither one of them is damaged. They both grew up happy, healthy and smart...no mental delays here.

I never "sleep trained" my children. What is that anyway? You stand at the door to your child's room and listen to him or her scream with the idea that it "teaches" them something? Okay....you do that. My kids learned this lesson: Mommy is there if I need her. If my children need to snuggle, we snuggle. If my children need to sleep with me, fine. It's hurting who? Once they're asleep, I pick them up and move them back to their own bed.

And don't even get me started on the whole whiner ass attitude of parents that need books and support groups so they can talk about how "monotonous" it is to be a parent. Newsflash: It is not your child's job to be entertaining or to make you feel fulfilled. It is your job to make your child feel safe and loved and ensure that they never feel like you see them as a burden...you big dumb IDIOT!! Apparently there are people out there that have children and are then surprised to learn that it is, for the most part daily repetition of the same activities because, well, they're KIDS!!

Here's an idea, if you aren't prepared to give up most everything in your life (not that you actually have to, but you should be prepared to) then don't have children. Being a parent is about being able to place the well being of your child first...all the time...everytime. Once you have kids, it's not about you anymore.

I don't know when it happened, but I think sometime in the last decade I morphed into my grandmother. I find myself shaking my head and muttering about the lack of good common sense when it comes to parenting today.

Yes, I am a tragically un-hip parent. Thank God.